Opinion


Stuart James: Family Values

Sunday, August 14, 2005 - by Stuart James
Stuart James
Stuart James

I still remember the release of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone like it was yesterday. My daughter’s grandmother gave her the book as a gift. Upon receiving the book, my daughter looked at me, handed me the book saying "read it to me." I read the entire book to her, and since that time I have read every Harry Potter book to my daughter.

My daughter is now 12, and when Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince was released I was surprised when my daughter said "read it to me." Last week I finished reading Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince to my daughter.

This time, the reading was a little different. We discussed each chapter, and we tried to figure out the mysteries of the book before we read about them. At the end of the book, we engaged in discussions on what would happen in the next book, and what mysteries lay ahead. We enjoyed our discussions, and although we finished reading the book we still discuss what happened in all of the Potter books, and what may happen in the future.

Another added benefit is my daughter sat with me on the couch, while I read for an hour or more, with her head on my shoulder and her eyes glued to the book, and then to me.

I looked forward to each day when I could read to my daughter. I knew we were spending quality “daddy/daughter” time together. We embarked on a great adventure—reading. We could imagine ourselves with Harry and his friends, living the adventures by reading the words aloud.

There are valuable lessons in the Potter stories themselves and there are valuable lessons in my experiences with my daughter.

First, I as a father spent quality time with my daughter not only discussing the book, but discussing other events in her life. We were together, and we were communicating with one another. The communication is two way, with both of us trying to understand what the other is saying.

We would talk about her summer, school, and, of course, the book. After each reading we would tell her mother snippets of what we read, peaking her mother’s interest in our experience, and the experiences of Harry Potter and his friends. The three of us talked, we enjoyed our experiences and the experiences that reading, and talking, brought to our daily lives.

Second, I remembered the value of reading to our children. Reading sparks the imagination, reading allows us to “go where no human has gone before.” Reading aloud to your child is an adventure, one that is shared, one that is remembered.

Third, reading teaches us values, and it brings families together. I asked my daughter why she wanted me to read her the book, and then she replied that “it was tradition." She explained, “Dad, you read them all to me, and we must continue the tradition, plus it is fun.”

Obviously, my daughter learned that there are certain constants in life and that tradition does matter; particularly when it comes to spending time together as a family.

Fourth, these books contain a valuable message for all of us. At one point, Harry Potter is having a discussion with Dumbledore, the headmaster of Hogwarts. Harry is concerned he is going down the same path as Voldemort, a wizard who embarked on the path of “evil.” Dumbledore tells Harry that there is one important distinction between Harry and Voldemort—the distinction is Harry's ability to love.

The ability to love is important in the series, because love guides Harry down the right path meaning “good will triumph over evil.”

I cannot think of better way to demonstrate family values--telling my daughter about love, about why good it is better than evil--reading to her so that she spends quality time with me as her father.

Family values are measured by individual families, and how they spend time together. Family values have no political purpose, political party or belief. I believe they are defined by how we spend our time with our children, our spouses, our brothers, sisters, parents…quality time with our family builds family values.

My daughter may be 14 or15 when the last in the series of the Harry Potter books is released. I think I know what she is going to say when the book is published; she will say "read it to me."

And I will.

Stuart James
Sjames139@comcast.net


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