Opinion


Rob York: Like A Pizza Slice On A Korean Ski Slope

Monday, December 24, 2007 - by Rob York
Rob York
Rob York

Only now that I have left do I appreciate certain things about Tennessee. At this moment, I can especially appreciate that, during the 25 or so winters I lived through in my home state, no one ever asked me if I wanted to pay money to experience a painful and humiliating lack of coordination while wearing very uncomfortable shoes.

Of course, no one in Korea has asked me that either, but they have asked me to ski, which is essentially the same thing.

Don't get me wrong, because I do enjoy learning new things sometimes. One thing that I am not so fond of is having to relearn things I thought I'd mastered years ago, like standing, walking and stopping myself from moving.

Like learning a second language or playing an instrument, skiing is one thing that would certainly have been more convenient when I was younger. When you're a small child, people expect you to fall and hurt yourself at completely random times. Also, you don't mind nearly so much having others help you accomplish basic tasks.

However, by the time you reach your late 20s, an utter lack of coordination is no longer expected nor cute, and having someone rush to your aid when they notice that you can't stand up is rather the opposite of an ego boost.

The Seventh-day Adventist Language Institute where I teach hosts a three-day winter camp for its staff and students every January. On one of those days, all who are interested can try skiing or snowboarding, and all those who are not interested can lounge about and wait. Two years ago, not knowing any better, I decided that I had not chosen to leave Tennessee and travel abroad to sit around not doing things.

The choice was made easier in that I had a young woman from a more snow-and-mountain-inclined region of Canada offering to teach me how to ski. She also happened to be my ex-girlfriend, but I can't remember if that made the process more demeaning or not.

Once I had the skis on, she told me that I had to dig them into the snow, making a "snow plough" effect that would prevent me from moving uncontrollably. Once I started going downhill, she told me that I had to point my skis slightly toward one another, making a shape that some call "A," others call "V" and she called "pizza slice." If I was unable to control my direction or my downward descent, she told me it would be safest to simply fall over sideways.

And so my hour-long slide down the beginners slope began, with me progressing a few meters at a time before she would begin shouting, depending on the situation, "Snow plough!", "Pizza slice!" or "Okay, just fall down!"

Having been able to enact only the latter of her suggestions, I would lie in the snow, checking to see if my skis had become detached and if my legs still bent in the proper direction.

"You had the cutest expression of pure terror just now," she would say as she looked down at me.

"This is what you've been doing without," I would say as soon I had spat most of the ice out of my teeth. "Can you live with that?"

When the next January came around, I was unable to attend our winter camp. My absence had nothing to do with skiing, but I did consider it a happy coincidence.

However, this winter, my current girlfriend suggested an afternoon jaunt to the slopes while I was visiting her in Chuncheon. Despite a few ominous warnings about my lack of skiing ability, she persuaded me to come along. Even though nearly two years had passed, I can say that this experience was quite different from my first.

It was different because this time my shoes didn't fit. We are in Korea, after all, and I buy a size 13 when I'm in Tennessee. Over here, they measure by millimeters and the biggest pair of snow boots the resort could muster up was a size 285, which felt considerable smaller than it sounds.

Also, this time the woman shouting instructions at me didn't speak English as a first language, so the instructions she shouted my way were "Make A!", "Bend your body more!" and "Just fell down!"

I am happy to say that by the end of the day, I'd learned how to successfully navigate the beginners' course without falling. She then suggested that we try the intermediate slope, which I assumed was different in that it was longer.

Actually, it's different mainly because it's steeper and has more curves. It is also notably longer, giving one more time to contemplate how a task easily accomplished at an angle of 30 degrees is virtually impossible at 60.

But like all pastimes we do with loved ones, the most important thing is time spent sharing new experiences.

"It will get easier," she told me.

"My feet hurt," I responded.

"The first time I did it I fell down a lot, too," she confided.

"My arms are sore from picking myself off the ground," I replied.

"After you get used to it I think you will enjoy it," she said, hopefully.

"Did I mention that my feet hurt?" I told her.

Next winter, when I live in Chuncheon, I'm told that we're going to get our own ski clothes and go more regularly. I'm told that skiing is an excellent form of exercise during the winter.

I'm also told that Korea experiences an average of five percent annual economic growth, but by this time next year I think I may be missing Tennessee and its lack of ski resorts, nonetheless.

(Former Chattanoogan.com reporter Rob York currently works in the textbook development department of the Seventh-day Adventist Language Institute in Seoul, South Korea. You may contact him at rjamesyork@gmail.com or visit www.rjamesyork.blogspot.com.)


Roy Exum: The Westminster Dogs Bark!

The brightly-lit tower on top of New York City’s Empire State Building is now purple and gold, the traditional colors of the much-beloved 136th Annual Westminster Dog Show that is currently being staged at Madison Square Garden. For a dog lover like me, the televised finals are always a fun-filled delight as the USA and CNBC networks show the spectacular animals on Monday and Tuesday ... (click for more)

No Way Out For Chattanooga's Homeless - And Response

 Homeless people in Chattanooga are being treated like unmentionables and swept under the rug of people’s minds.  Why are they stuck on the streets hungry, alone, and ignored?  The state government is not doing enough to offer long term self-improvement programs to help the homeless get off the streets of Chattanooga.  The homeless are people and they deserve ... (click for more)

Prosecutors Asking Maximum Sentence For "Evil" Mother Of Jesse Mathews

Prosecutors are asking that the mother of the man charged with killing Chattanooga Police Sgt. Tim Chapin be given the maximum possible sentence, calling Kathleen Mathews an evil manipulator who encouraged Jesse Mathews' criminal endeavors. Sentences within the guideline range are asked for his father, Ray Vance Mathews; sister, Rachel Mathews, and her boyfriend, ... (click for more)

Mark Phillips Was Victim In Fatal Hixson Pike Wreck

Mark Phillips, 54, was the victim in a fatal Hixson Pike wreck on Saturday afternoon. Police said the driver of the Ford F150 that went out of control and struck the Phillips vehicle was 68-year-old Warren Elliott. He is still listed in serious condition.  Mr. Phillips was driving a Chevrolet Impala when a pickup truck driven by Mr. Elliott went across Hixson Pike into ... (click for more)

Moc Wrestlers Drop Two At National Duals

The University of Tennessee at Chattanooga wrestling team dropped a pair of matches in the National Wrestling Coaches Association Cliff Keen National Duals Presented by Hibiclens and The Marines in Stillwater, Okla., today. The Mocs fell to No. 10 Wyoming (38-6) and Boise State (25-17) to drop to 11-6 overall. Chattanooga, the fifth seed in the six-team regional, only got ... (click for more)

Kentucky Softball Signs Silverdale's Henderson, Soddy-Daisy's Nunley

LEXINGTON, Ky. –   After racking up the best season in school history in 2011, UK softball coach Rachel Lawson has signed a heralded class of eight highly-touted athletes from across the country for the 2013 season. The Wildcats have signed Silverdale Baptist Academy's Katie Henderson (Hixscon, Tenn.), Kelsey Nunley (Soddy Daisy, Tenn.), Darington Richardson (Duluth, ... (click for more)