Not so long ago I was paying for a tank of gas at a convenience store when there unfolded before me a bad situation.

There was this man, appearing to be at least 60 years old, who had two bottles of beer in his hands. He also had the money to buy that beer, but the clerk was refusing to sell it to him because the old man didn’t have any identification.

The old man turned to put the beer back in the cooler when I said, “Wait a second. I’ll buy it for you since I have my driver’s license. Give me the beer and your money and I’ll meet you outside.”

The clerk, a friend of mine, said, “Don’t do that. That’s illegal and you could go to jail for a year.” The old man waved us off, returned the beer, and left empty-handed. That scenario has bothered me ever since.

Several days later I am in the line late one afternoon at the grocery store and shoppers are three-deep at every register when this nice lady has a 12-pack of beer among the groceries in her cart. The clerk stops scanning items when she gets to the beer because she’s under 21 years of age.

So we have to wait until a manager gets there to slide the beer over the scanner. That seems pretty stupid to me.

Now signs are beginning to appear on certain restaurants and bars around town that say on Oct. 1 either smoking will be prohibited or no one under the age of 21 can enter the premises. That is also pretty stupid in my way of thinking because, either way, the guy who owns the place is the only one who suffers.

Think about it. If you want to smoke while you watch a football game in a bar, you’ll go somewhere else. Or, if the bar allows smokers, anybody under the age of 21 can’t go in and get a cheeseburger and a Coca-Cola with some grown-ups.

On Oct. 4, some of us will go to the polls to begin the process of replacing the ousted state senator in District 10. My plea is that we must strive not to elect anybody else who is dumb and, yessir, it is my honest and candid belief we’ve got some state law-makers who are “broken out in stupid.”

I’m not mad enough over these new rules to start naming any legislators by name, but I’m reaching the point where I’ve about had enough.

Now let me say, right up front, that I drink beer and smoke cigars. I eat at no-smoking restaurants all the time and it doesn’t bother me to wait on my tobacco, but it does irritate the inside of my chaps when I see more and more legislation that muddles the landscape of this great state of ours.

I hear you when you take off your shoe and pound the podium, pointing to the billions of dollars the tobacco habit costs our country. And I’m with you when you spend hundreds of thousands to corner drunken drivers.

But I’m also saying I enjoy sinning when I can. I enjoy a cigar with my buddies and I love it when that first long pull of beer is so cold you want to chew it. I am sick and tired of people who want to legislate how I act or how I enjoy myself.

I hate it when I see a real little kid in a bar. But I’ve watched too many teenagers cheer their Vols or their Tigers with their daddies to fall for any legislator’s sacrosanct hypocrisy.

In the weeks ahead, I am going to be approached by a handful of people who want, and need, my vote on Oct. 4. I will find out which one best meets my needs and I’ll reward that person with my ballot, but, in my way of thinking, this is a great time to start rooting out the dumb ones whose idea of a better America is to make laws that take business away from a guy who owns a bar or a convenience store.

Just you wait. I’m going to vote.

royexum@aol.com

Roy Exum on Sunday: Baylor, McCallie and a Lack of Class