At the risk of making my teammates angry, I will once again disclose to the public what was discussed at our most recent super secret meeting.
We decided to obtain voter registration forms from the Election Commission and register people to vote. We even thought it a good idea to offer to take the forms to people's homes and then hand deliver them to the Election Commission.
We found out on the Hamilton County Election Commission website that the deadline to register to vote in the Aug. 7 election is July 8. We also discovered that early voting starts July 18 and runs through Saturday, Aug. 2 and the last day for the Election Commission to accept absentee ballots is July 31. I only hope that by discussing something as radical as registering voters, we did not violate any ethics or sunshine laws.
In addition, we wanted to remind voters if you have not voted in the last few elections, you need to call the Election Commission office at 493-5100 to be sure your voter registration is current. If you live in Districts 1, 2 or 4 and have married or moved since the last time you voted or you have never registered, call me at 842-4652 and I will be sure you receive the proper form.
Something just occurred to me. Even though I do not believe any sunshine laws have been violated, I am afraid we may have run afoul of the moonshine laws. After all, the meeting was held at night. If any lawyers out there are experts in moonshine laws, please let me know.
Rhonda Thurman
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That Kookie Thurman, telling secrets again. She's going to keep it up and Tim Price is going to take away her Super Secret Squirrel Ring.
I doubt she violated any "moonshine laws," though, when there was no moonshine. There was a new moon during her last super secret meeting and that's a leap I doubt even a lawyer who can't read large, red, block letters printed at the top of election forms, and who doesn't understand there are approximately 365.25 days in a year, can make.
Gee golly gosh, I hope this doesn't mean Kookie won't give me one of her new super secret el spiffo combs for what's left of my possum blonde hair now.
Royce E. Burrage, Jr.
Royce@OfficiallyChapped.org