When President Barack Obama announced he was increasing the United States' military presence in Afghanistan last night, I could have told him where there were already about 750 highly-trained soldiers just itching for a fight. As a matter of fact, they are already "in country," as military types are wont to say, and they are fed up with "too much chatting around here."

I'm talking about the French Foreign Legion. Ever since I was a kid I've been fascinated by the well-disciplined but still rowdy band of reputed outlaws who are said to be one of the toughest, meanest and "enthusiastic" soldiers in the world today.

A week or so ago a story by the Associated Press told of the 750 men who arrived in Tora, Afghanistan, this summer but have yet to engage in the fray because they are part of NATO's peace-keeping force. The trouble is, the Legionnaires don't like sitting still and that's understandable; many were "on the run" when they actually joined the somewhat mysterious arm of the French Army.

You see, the French Foreign Legion is the ideal place to hide. Nobody has a last name. Men from all over the world come to France to enlist and, in something of a no-questions-asked enlistment procedure, they follow the same path that was started in 1831 when France first allowed foreign men to fight under its flag.

"Legionnaires begin a new life when they join. Each and every one of them is allowed to keep his past a secret," explained one officer and, in the 750-man complement now in Afghanistan, there are over 80 nationalities represented. It's true: most of the French Foreign Legion isn't from France at all. Many even have "fake" first names.

One guy, an American who says his name is Raoul (wink, wink) was once a plumber in Virginia Beach, but when he was turned down by the U.S. Armed Forces, he went to France, enlisted easily, and is today ready to fight. Apparently he was rejected for U.S. services because he once did three months' time in the U.S. for a felony, "I didn't kill anyone, but I didn't make anybody proud, either," he said.

So there are quite a few in the Legion with a criminal past. Oh, those who rape, murder, or molest children are not allowed to join, but when it comes to other crimes, the French will forgive anything but a lie about it. You tell them your past, they then seal it in your records and - presto - life starts over.

No one knows where you are, or what you are doing. Any inquiries to the Legion are stone-walled and, after one serves for five years, a French citizenship is given in whatever name you want. But the better "address" was painted on the base headquarters soon after the French soldiers arrived: "Legio Patria Nostra" is the Latin motto for the French Foreign Legion that means, "The Legion is our Homeland."

You see, the legion, some 7,500 strong, becomes your family. If you are wounded in action, an invalid, or retire, you spend your final days on a big farm in southern France, where those who live there grow and bottle wine.

In the AP story, another Legionnaire named Marcus (wink, wink) first saw the French Foreign Legion fight in his homeland, the Central African Republic. Not long after, both of his parents were killed in fighting and he soon joined those he had once admired.

The French, once thought to be military wimps after the U.S. "bailed them out of two very big wars," are considered just the opposite in military circles today. "They are one of the best armies in the world," one U.S. officer claimed after fighting alongside them in Iraq, and not long ago, when a French ship encountered a band of pirates off the coast of Somalia, hardly anyone was surprised when the French report was received that, no, there were no French casualties but that, no, there were no survivors on the other side, either.

So it is no wonder that last week a sergeant named Alex (wink, wink) didn't try to hide his disgust at the lack of action. "We were meant for fighting. There's too much chatting around here," said the 23-year veteran who has been on 17 missions with the second infantry regiment and is awaiting his fifth commendation for valor.

Trust me, these guys in the white kepi hats are just begging to fight. Let's let 'em.

royexum@aol.com