Yes, we made it. Whether you woke up this morning with a still-fun fog clouding your brain or got up early to begin the New Year with prayer, the Year 2010 arrived exactly on schedule. So let me offer among my first resolutions to raise taxes.

You weren’t ready for that, not on the very first day of what will undoubtedly be a challenging year for all of us, but here’s my reason. Unemployment is still high, consumer prices – whether for gas or milk or blue jeans for the kids – haven’t exactly ebbed and the cost of providing the services we need have admittedly increased for every municipality you can name.

But I have a way of raising taxes that will actually cost very little because once we redistribute the idiotic scams that government has foisted upon us, such things as a $5 “city sticker,” a $10 “emissions test,” and – my favorite – the “50-dollar photo.” By doing some skillful maneuvering, all three will join the dinosaurs on the list of extinction.

In the city of Chattanooga there is a $5 sticker that every resident is required to display on their automobile. Instead, it has become a bureaucratic joke, as evidenced by a casual ride down any thoroughfare. The reason is that it is virtually unenforceable. Think about it – thousands of cars drive the city streets every day, but many are from outlying towns. These people, rightly so, are not required to display a city sticker.

Because of the mass confusion – and the fact there aren’t as many Christians in our midst as we might like – thousands of city-dwelling citizens scorn the city sticker while those who are not required to have one enjoy whatever benefits the politicians claim the $5 fee provides. So let’s eliminate the $5 joke.

The $10 emissions test is equally ridiculous. Not long ago I wrote a story, panning the fact that only five of Tennessee’s 95 counties worry about “clean air” or whatever curtain that sham hides behind, and I received over 100 emails detailing one horror story after another.

Our friends and neighbors hate the emissions scam - repair bills in excess of $1,000, rude operators, unfavorable hours, the drag of inconvenience and hassle. So let’s eliminate this burden and breath the same air those in Tennessee’s other 90 counties must endure. I believe we’ll live better, if for no other reason because the stress of the preposterous exercise will be gone.

The traffic-camera deal, where millions of dollars have now been bilked from “us” by the City Council, is easily the most disliked ploy ever perpetuated in this town. Okay, today I’ll hold off on my belief that a silently-clicking hidden camera is a gross entrapment device, serving no good except for ill-gotten gain, because I just wrote about it yesterday.

But does it not serve as viable notice that every time I rant over traffic cameras, I receive at least 50 emails within the next 24 hours urging that I fight harder against the doggone things? Neeld Messer was a great guy I enjoyed knowing before he died the other day, yet in his obituary – so help me – was included the fact he was among those who kept traffic cameras out of his beloved Signal Mountain.

I mean, right there among the Bible verses and only a few of the good things this blessed man has done in his life was the victory over traffic cameras! Who among us can ignore that kind of clue? Hello!

C’mon, I’m all about safety, doing whatever it takes, but the cameras aren’t about safety at all. Should we put cameras in front of City Council members’ residences to show where they really sleep at night? It can be argued it is the same thing - entrapment - but, my goodness, has privacy and decency “left the building.”

So, what I am saying is increase the cost of tags to include the sticker. Put the emissions cost and the money necessary for driver’s education and police cars and safety equipment in the budget instead of nickeling-and-diming the peasants every time they turn around.

Raise taxes? You bet I'd be for a reasonable increase with diesel fuel costing what it does and a load of gravel at $300, but let’s make sure we have “honest government” – is that an oxymoron? - in place to do it. How a city can spend thousands for public art when vital needs are left screaming is ludicrous. How can the city and county officials just blink their eyes when Erlanger’s indigent costs – that is “us” too – are skyrocketing?

We have to pay for what we really need, but we also “need” some political faces with the guts to trim the fat, eliminate the shams and the jokes and the stupidity, who – in essence – care about “us” instead of the gleaners who have forced ridiculous stickers and testing and photos in years past.

So, there is my first New Year’s Resolution. You don't like it? Then let's eliminate the silly things the current politicians pass back to previous officials. Let's clean up the landscape and, if we do, the New Year can be great.

royexum@aol.com