My patriotic son-in-law suggested that I list some of my awards and accomplishments. I don’t want to do that, but I will reflect a little. The things that I am most proud of are intangible. I made a living selling intangibles such as advertising and civic pride. The Advertising Federation recognized this when they presented me their top award, “The Silver Medal”. The Sales and Marketing Executives honored me as Chattanooga’s top salesman for “selling” Chattanooga.
For me to sell, I had to be sold on my product. I was sold on my primary product---Chattanooga. Even when we were suffering from air pollution, water pollution, slums, unemployment and a dismal water front, I loved Chattanooga. It is a lot easier to love Chattanooga now; Billy Bragger has a lot more to brag about. Bettye and I chose to stay in Chattanooga even though we both had more profitable opportunities elsewhere. We never regretted this.

Selling intangibles helped me appreciate intangible benefits. I know for example that thousands of youths gained employment because of my Jaycee work with the Department of Labor. I know that hundreds of children have benefited from establishing the Big Brothers and Big Sisters. I am proud that hundreds of Scouts were helped from my efforts for 25 years. Local citizens have been saved millions of dollars from scams and misleading advertising since we helped establish the Better Business Bureau.
Over 50 years ago, we sparked the first Juvenile Police Squad under Police Commissioner, Herbert Dunlap, when we learned of abuse of young girls. Similarly we helped separate dependant and neglected children from delinquents and supported efforts to provide better facilities when I was on the Juvenile Court Commission. I am sure our attack on pornography and homosexual projects helped also. How do you measure how many youths have been helped, and how much they were helped? These benefits are intangible, but everyone who played a role can be proud of what has been accomplished. I am grateful and proud of all of the awards I have received. I don’t need them, however, to feel good about what we have done.
Civic pride is another intangible. All my life I have been promoting my home town. Hopefully, all the articles, speeches, radio and TV shows have helped area citizens to know more about what we have here and their civic pride will encourage them to spread the word. Hopefully also more people around the world know about Chattanooga and have a good image about us. I LOVE CHATTANOOGA.

A FINAL TOUCH OF HUMOR

I confess to embarrassing moments all through this book. When you are basically shy, you have thousands of embarrassing moments so you learn to live with them. Here are a few more that come to mind.
When I was nine or so, I saved fifty cents to buy a gift for Mother’s Day. That was enough for a pair of panties (bloomers). Good friend Marjorie Ballinger worked at Miller Bros. I braved the intimate apparel department to buy from Margie. She had a great sense of humor so she picked the largest pair of panties in the store and waved them, asking if this was the right size. My face was as pink as the panties. I still don’t feel comfortable buying lingerie.
“Short Arm Inspections” in the military were necessary to combat VD, but demeaning and embarrassing for a young teenager. They would wake us up at two or three in the morning, line us up and inspect our penises with a flashlight. Today people even protest giving a urine sample to test for drugs.
When I was selling TV advertising, Pioneer Bank invited all State Farm Agents to convene at the Wimberly Inn and asked me to explain how they could use television to market their product. We had cocktails, a delicious meal, then they passed around fancy cigars. I had not smoked for a while, but it seemed so appropriate. I took a few puffs then headed for the john. When it came time for my presentation, I was sick as a dog. I made a brief talk. Despite my incapacity, however, State Farm started Advertising on television. I think I got a sympathy vote.
In the mid sixties, I was supposed to be in a meeting in Nashville the same day we dedicated the vital Interstate Cut through Missionary Ridge. I hooked a ride to Nashville with Governor Clement. He was to tour downtown first so I went home to pack. When I got to the airport, all four engines on the Governor’s plane were running; I was holding everyone up.
(His downtown tour was just a brief drive on the interstate.) I was embarrassed.

At the National Jaycee Convention in Milwaukee, the lights were dimmed and suddenly I was in a spotlight (don’t ask me how they knew where I was). I was called forward to receive the Seldon Waldo Award (Best National Chairman). As I climbed the stairs to the stage, before 10,000 Jaycees, I felt a half pint of Jack Daniels rising in my hip pocket. I caught it just in time. Had this dropped to the floor, it would have been really embarrassing----the award was for youth welfare work.
I was embarrassed in France when a Count caught me up his cherry tree with my helmet liner filled with his cherries. I had royalty on a pedestal because of the movies of the 1930’s. The Count, however, had tobacco stains all around his mouth. He did not look like a Count should look.
How about the time I had the elevator jam-packed with travel writers at TVA’s Raccoon Mountain Pump Storage Project? After an impressive tour inside the mountain, we started our ascent, I said, “This is one of the fastest elevators in the county, it will climb 110 stories in 52 seconds”. At that instant the elevator stopped. We were shoulder to shoulder. One lady writer went prone. We opened the door to get some air---only inches from a solid rock wall. Otis Elevator came to our rescue in about forty five minutes. Nobody panicked. Subsequently, when I followed up with the writers for travel stories, the main thing they talked about was the elevator ride. It was embarrassing but funny.
I asked newscaster, Mort Lloyd to be a questioner on “Jaycee question of the Week” to discuss problems at Lovell Field. He was a pilot and aware of some of the shenanigans. The program was to be televised live on Sunday afternoon. Mort flew back from his mother’s in Middle Tennessee just for the occasion. He walked into the studio and a Jaycee Lawyer (who shall remain nameless), said, “Oh, we cancelled that program.” They proceeded on another topic without Mort. Of course, Mort was furious and blamed me. I never received a satisfactory explanation myself. Jaycee president, Howard Sompayrac, wrote a long letter of apology and absolved me of any blame, but Mort was still peeved. His cameraman, Tommy Eason, blamed me too. For a long time, he would just photograph the back of my head in news stories, even if I was the speaker. Tommy liked Hubert Fry and Hubert and I were close, so I was finally forgiven. The whole affair was embarrassing.
None of these awkward moments got the best of me, I just kept on doing my thing. Overcoming my shyness and qualifying for the “Foot-N-Mouth Award”.