I have read the responses of citizens to the savage assault of Shannon Wiser by her husband, John. I share in your outrage and in my opinion there is no lower life form than a man who would beat/abuse a woman, child, or defenseless animal.

I was one of the first officers on scene at Sleepy Hollow that night. It was not the first time I had been to the Wiser home on an assault call. Tragically, it will be the last call I go to for Shannon Wiser.

Some of you readers will wonder why something wasn’t done sooner to prevent a young mother being murdered.
Tennessee state law directs police to arrest the primary aggressor in a domestic assault. The law says we shall arrest. Not may, not can, not unless it is between the hours of midnight and 0700 on Sunday morning…SHALL. Period. There are consequences to us if we don’t.

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve made an arrest for domestic assault only to go to court and have the case dismissed because the victim did not show up or the victim told the judge he/she still loves the abuser and is “trying to work it out” and never wanted to press charges in the first place.

I’ve also seen judges give a suspended sentence because the couple is back together; against conditions of release directing the defendant to have no contact with the victim. All of the police officers, judges, lawyers, and court personnel reading this know what I am talking about and are nodding in agreement right now.

How can I help someone who won’t help themselves?

I will not pass judgment on what happened on Sleepy Hollow. This is neither the time nor the forum for it. What I would like to say is to those of you who are in a physically abusive relationship, leave. It does not get better, and the abuser is not going to change. If he/she will slap you, that person will hit you with a weapon. If the abuser will hit you with a weapon, the abuser will kill you. There is no excuse for that type of behavior and the victim did not ask for it.

To those of you who are a victim and the police have arrested the abuser, please show up in court and tell what happened to you. You didn’t arrest the defendant. We did. We were the one who pressed charges and, if the defendant wants to get mad at someone, then let him/her be mad at us. We would be more than happy to discuss the situation with the offender and let him/her vent on us.

I’ve heard all the excuses and I know it is hard to leave a relationship, but there are places to go. There is a battered women’s shelter here in Chattanooga. They even take children. We have a family violence hotline, 755-2700. The Domestic Violence Coalition number is 875-0120. They can get you the help you need to get away from an abusive partner.

The important thing is you are not alone and you do not have to endure abuse.

When police show up at your house we are not there to humiliate you. We are there to help you. Let us. If you don’t want to do it for us or for you, do it for your children. Statistics show children from abusive homes become abusers themselves.

I hope I never have to go to another call like the one I went to on Sleepy Hollow. Shannon never thought John would actually kill her. Seeing her lying on the ground knocked out and taking gasping breaths with those innocent children watching was heart-breaking. It was a scene straight from Hell. When the medic gave me that oh-crap-this-is-serious look, and said she might not make it, I thought what are those children going to do now?

So, victims, never think it can’t happen to you. It can and it does. Thank you for your time and I hope this letter will give you the courage to leave before you end up like Shannon.

Ric Engle
#968
Chattanooga Police Department

* * *

Officer Engle, I'd like to thank you for providing the information and phone numbers to help those who are abused. Your letter was most appropriate and well written. I look forward to the day there is no more child or spousal abuse. As a former police officer, I have seen much of what you have. One call in particular from a lady whose husband was beating her, and when I got there and arrested him, she jumped on my back and started hitting me because I was putting her husband in jail. It just amazes me when the victim won't prosecute. The sad part is these 2 young boys witnessed it.

The only part of your letter I disagree with is you called this guy a man. A "real" man doesn't hit women. He's trash and deserves everything he gets. Should you hear there is a trust set up for these little guys, please let me know so I can help. They've lost their Mom, and their worthless Dad hopefully will never be around again. Good job Officer, and may God give you peace from those memories.

Arlos Dempsey
Signal Mountain
ArlosandSheree@epbFi.com

* * *

Officer Ric has brought up an issue that is all to common: victims and rescuers who feel helpless. If the domestic abuse is not witnessed, the police do not have much to go on. I, myself, was in an abusive relationship for about twelve years, and I know the reasons a woman will not charge, divorce, or leave her husband. It's hard when you love someone who will harm you or your children.

There are several reasons for this type of behavior in the victim. How can she leave someone that she truly loves (especially if the have children)? How can she support herself, let alone her children, without an income? Many times the families of the parties involved will deny their children (abuser and abusee) have a problem. It is a difficult thing to believe that your child can do that to another human being.

Yes, there is domestic assault victim support available. By the time the assaults are full-scale, the victim has been isolated from her friends and family. She does not feel anyone can help her or even want to. Especially when it has been drilled into her head that the children will be given to the husband. That's part of the abuse - losing her kids and the threat that he will not support her and doesn't have to. He makes sure that she knows that no one will believe her. In fact, she does leave, he finds a way to make her feel like he has changed, loves her, and wants her to come home. This is the cycle I went through for many years. The victim is quite aware she is in a desperate situation, but does not want her marriage to fail. So, the victim becomes very depressed and turns inside for safety. (I ballooned up to almost three hundred pounds as my protection.)

The feeling of being all alone makes you continue to give the appearance that all is well. I know the reasons they stay and I know the excuses made to stay in the relationship.
Fortunately for me, I had an almost divine intervention that opened my eyes. It was very difficult, but I did it. It took me years to recover financially and emotionally. But the payoff is that I have a peaceful home, a child who is a gifted student, and a great job. In addition, when I had a relationship later that proved to be headed toward abuse, I knew how to stand up for myself and get out right away with my friends and neighbors help.

In addition, I have been able to relate some of my experience to help other women in similar situations. Perhaps that is because I understand.

Keep in mind that domestic abuse can happen to anyone, male or female. The key is to have someone from the outside be objective and gently help the person to see their worth. Don't turn a blind eye to your neighbor's plight.

Judie Snipes
(not a victim)
Ringgold

* * *

I would like to thank Officer Engle for writing his letter and thank him for trying to make a difference in situations like these.

Ken Snyder
Chattanooga

* * *

I want to comment on the officer's statement. In many cases when the police get involved the victim's self esteem and spirit are broken. They are helpless and scared to death to go against the abuser so they stay and go back.

Until the courts make it mandatory for the abuser to stand trial and go to jail nothing will change.
Statistic's tell us these men/ women will never change, so why is there an option.

If this was a bank robbery or a theft there would be no option but to face trial and jail.

The laws need to be changed to where the abuser is made to stand trial and jail time given when police are called and severe punishment
for repeat offenders. I feel they should be locked up or in a mental institution, because they will never change.

At the very least they should have to be registered an ankle monitor with their movements forever, with home visits to monitor who is in the
home that will become the new victim.
By the time they break the restraining order, and they all do, and scare the victim they are long gone before police show up, and
the victim is told the abuser has to be caught there with in a 100 ft of the house. This is no where near good enough.

Every contact leaves the victim feeling helpless and the abuser is back in control. There are many agencies here that can get the women to safety and help them start over, but there needs to be more spiritual and cognitive help for the victims to retrain their thought processes, to fight the depression and isolation they go through, not to mention help them because they are too scared to close their eyes.

Many of these victims have been held against their will, screamed at for hours, days on end, kept up days with no sleep, tortured, raped, choked until unconscious, beaten, stomped, had weapons pointed against them and much more than most can comprehend.

These victims are in a battle zone and can be compared to victims of war or victims of hostage taking.
Now if the victim fights back, when the police show up the victim is also arrested. ( can you imagine ).
Why would these victims tell the police everything when the system is not strong enough to support them?
11 months probation because they spent a couple nights in jail is not good enough.

I am not knocking the work the policemen do; the system is antiquated and needs a serious overhaul. Until then, if there are any women and children out there in this abusive cycle of Jekyll and Hyde (good/evil) leave now don't wait.
Leave town if you have to but leave, move 5 times if you have to, get in a good program, a get some spiritual counseling from a church.
Divine intervention is your way to freedom.

These abusers have never changed who they are in thousands of years, and it will only get worse.

The long term effects of domestic violence have not begun to be fully documented. Battered women suffer physical and mental problems as a result of domestic violence. Battering is the single major cause of injury to women, more significant that auto accidents, rapes, or muggings. In fact, the emotional and psychological abuse inflicted by batterers may be hard to treat in the short-run and long-run than the physical injury.

Families dealing with a family member of abuse, be loving and supportive don't give up on them.(pray)
What has happened to them in a day may take years to heal.

You are not alone.
National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799-SAFE begin_of_the_skype_highlighting              1-800-799-SAFE      end_of_the_skype_highlighting
Call the local violence hotline, 755-2700. The Domestic Violence Coalition number is 875-0120.

Beverly Watson
Chattanooga
survivor -set free by God

* * *

Chattanooga Police Officer Ric Engle deserves a special thanks for his well-written and thoughtful letter in regard to the Wiser homicide. He is one of many unsung heroes in our local law enforcement agencies. Thank you, Officer Engle, for taking the time to make this information available to the community.

Domestic violence affects every one of us. You never know which neighbor, friend or family member may be living in terror as this victim apparently did. It is important that we not allow her to die in vain. Ending abuse is everyone's responsibility. Law enforcement and the courts can do their jobs well, but the real change must come in the hearts and minds of people who will take a stand and say "This is wrong and it is bad for all of us. We will no longer close our eyes to it and tolerate it."

If you or someone you know is living with abuse, they do not deserve to live in fear. Let them know that help is there for them when they are ready to leave the relationship. Thanks to Officer Engle and others like him who want to see family violence end in our community. Family violence is where many of our social problems and crimes originate: juvenile crime, assault, murder, arson, animal abuse, destruction of property,human trafficking, substance abuse, gangs...any of the violent crimes that plague Chattanooga. If we end family violence we will have taken a serious step toward reducing all of these problems. If you witness abuse, report it.

Thank you, Officer Engle, for raising awareness of the impact of abuse in our community.

Charlotte Boatwright, R.N., L.P.C., Ph. D.
President, The Coalition Against Family and Community Violence of Greater Chattanooga, Inc.
Coordinator, Chattanooga Family Justice Alliance

* * *

I am so glad Officer Engle made a stand by writing about domestic violence. As a victim advocate for the past 14 years, and Director of Crisis Services at the Partnership for Families, Children and Adults, it is heartbreaking when a domestic violence tragedy occurs that rocks the community. My heart goes out to the family and friends of the victim – especially to her young children who will go through life without their mother.

When a victim of domestic violence is murdered, it creates a heightened awareness that it can happen to anyone. Our Crisis Hotline and domestic violence shelter is already receiving increased calls as a result of the recent homicide. Domestic violence abuse and homicide are not isolated crimes. According to the Violence Policy Center in 2008, Tennessee ranked 5th in domestic violence murders.

Quite often, the murders occur when a victim is in the process of leaving the relationship or shortly thereafter. The abuser often believes, “If I can’t have you, no one will.” Getting out safely by creating a “safety plan” is critical to the survival of someone leaving an abusive relationship.

The Partnership for Families, Children and Adults can help intervene in these situations. We operate a 24/7 Crisis Hotline at 755-2700. We work closely with law enforcement, the District Attorney’s office, Southeast Legal Services and the courts to assist victims with crisis counseling, safety planning, orders of protection and other services.

If you are a victim of violence and are reading this, please call us on our hotline and seek help immediately. Please make your call when your abuser is not around, if possible. If you are in immediate danger, please call 911 for emergency response. Never feel ashamed or embarrassed about what your neighbors may think. You are important, and the abuse is not your fault. The phone call could save your life.

In closing, Officer Engle’s frustration with victims who refuse to leave their abuser is understandable. However, the fear of being killed or having her children taken away or harmed is a strong factor in why many women may stay in a relationship that is abusive. She may stay because she feels she has nowhere to go, because she has been isolated from family and friends. She may believe the abuse is her fault and if she would do something differently it would stop. She may believe the abusive partner will change. The abuser may have controlled all finances in the home and would create a financial hardship so devastating for her that she would have no source of income to support herself or her children. It takes an amazing amount of courage to leave.

Regina McDevitt
Director, Crisis Services
Partnership for Families, Children and Adults