Around the first of December I found out I have a sciatica nerve. The truth is we all have nerve roots that go down our left and right legs and for over 60 years mine have been close friends. It’s just that when sciatic neuritis finally sets in, you most appreciate the task of keeping those “friends” happy.

Not long ago, I read a wonderful story in my morning readings called “12 Really Stupid Things I Never Want To Do Again.” Written in marvelous fashion by a Jesuit priest named James Martin, his list captured the really dumb things that older people have discovered hinder a fulfilling life and one of his best ones is "Complain About A Minor Illness.”

I’m a big believer in not caring about what others really think of me; if we only knew how little other people actually think about us, none of us would ever worry about it ever again. On the other hand, if you want to bore your friends and loved ones, start complaining about your aches and pains and soon you’ll be eating your meals alone.

Right now I am trying hard “not to do stupid things” yet for the past month my sciatica neuritis has rattled my every day. I’ve been taking over-the-counter aspirin and pain powders by the sackful because several people who say they have overcome the malady have assured me you can’t really do much “except wait it out.” You just have to forge on, they promise, and that – dear friend – is further proof of how stupid I can be.

My sciatica got really bad the day after Christmas – when all the doctors’ offices were closed – so I went to an Urgent Care walk-in and got a cortisone shot and a prescription. It didn’t work. Then last week the thing got progressively worse and the day after New Year’s – again when all the doctor’s offices were closed for the holiday – the pain was at its all-time peak. Waiting, I learned the hard way, is also really stupid.

But because I think I’m smart, I know to avoid the emergency room on holidays so it wasn’t until yesterday that I learned I actually have a cyst on my spine which is pushing against the nerve and making it mad. I’ve been treating the sciatica nerve but – don’t you see - the problem is the cyst itself and easy help, after a month of stoic coping like some idiot, is now forthcoming.

At the top of my personal collection of “Stupid Things I Never Want To Do Again” is to go through an entire month of pain and torment before ever seeking knowledgeable help. I realize there aren’t many who are as dumb or as stubborn as I am; I’ll spend an agonizing 10 minutes to pull on a right sock rather than just 30 seconds to call a doctor. Then – get this - when I repeat it every day for an entire month that’s just 30 times as stupid.

Father Martin’s list of 12 Stupid Things He’ll Never Do Again is priceless so here’s a condensed version from a recent HuffingtonPost.com article:

1. COMPARE – “Comparing yourself to someone else usually means that you imagine the other person is better off, more satisfied - in a word, happier. But here's the problem: We end up comparing what we know about our life, which is a mixed bag of good and bad, with a fantasy of someone else's supposedly "perfect" life.”

2. ‘SHOULDING’ ON YOURSELF – “It's devilishly easy to imagine yourself making a choice that would have taken you to a different place in your life. I should have married this person; I should have taken that job; I should have moved; I should have blah, blah, blah. This is called "shoulding all over yourself." (Say it aloud and the negative meaning becomes clearer.)”

3. GET PEOPLE TO LIKE YOU – “Your true friends like you already. Be open to change and growth by all means; but treasure friends who love you for who you are. St. Francis de Sales, a 17th-century saint, once said: "Be who you are and be that perfectly well."

4. INTERRUPT – “You can't contribute intelligently to any conversation if you're not listening what the other person is saying. As my sister tells her children, you have two ears and one mouth for a reason.”

5. WORRY ABOUT HOW YOU LOOK – “You need to look presentable for your job and a decent appearance is a sign of respect to those around you. But if your friends are overly concerned about your clothes, and judge you on that basis, they may not be the best friends for you. Spend less time thinking about your outside and more about your inside.”

6. WORK CONSTANTLY – “We are immersed in a culture of productivity, which says that we are what we do. If value is gauged by wealth, then when we make less, we feel less valuable as human beings, which is tragic. Nelson Mandela didn't make much money when he was imprisoned in South Africa; was he less valuable? Plus, if we are what we do, when we're not working we're nothing. This kind of thinking creates a skewed measure of "value." Stop driving yourself nuts with the trap of constant work.”

7. FAIL TO GIVE SOMEBODY A BREAK -- Remember that behind those frowning faces are full lives. Remember too, that all these people all beloved creatures of God, with their own human dignity, and holy in their own way - yes, holy. When the Book of Genesis said that God looked at everything and said, "It was good," he meant people, too.”

8. COMPLAIN ABOUT A MINOR ILLNESS – “No one really wants to hear about minor illnesses. Everyone gets sick, for Pete's sake. In the words of the great prophets, suck it up.”

9. BE A JERK – “Share your frustrations and struggles with close friends, but don't make everyone else's life more miserable by passing on your misery. Once, I joked to a friend, "Boy, my life is such a cross!" "Yes," he said, "But for you or others?"

10. FAIL TO DO THE RIGHT THING -- “It takes effort; but you know what is the right thing to do. Do it anyway. If you don't, you'll feel terrible about yourself, and that's really no fun.”

11. MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE – “Nothing brings me lower than a few minutes of mocking another person. Much of our current political climate consists of politicians mocking people in the other party. (That's been a big help in this country, hasn't it?) Malicious speech is an easy way to wound. If you feel like you're powerless against badmouthing someone, ask yourself three questions when it comes to commenting on another: Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it true?”

12. BE HARD ON YOURSELF – “One of my Jesuit mentors used to say, ‘Be easy with yourself, Jim.’ Be careful to ‘trust in the slow work of God,’ as the Jesuit Pierre Teilhard de Chardin used to say. Father Martin also advises us, “If you ever get discouraged about your rate of change, just think about trees - yes, trees. In the summer they're green. In the fall they're red. And no one sees them change.”

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