Every day I get dozens of emails and then there is another deluge of things that my friends send me that are funny, inspirational, irreverent, political and all else in between. Many of the Internet messages I receive are very educational but I’ll tell you up front – some of what is sent around today is “non-factual” -- stuff that is false or never happened and you better check your sources before you share it with others.
The other day I received an unusual history lesson and at a time where I am easily amused by phrases and the way we talk, I think you’ll get a bang out of it. You see, I’ve still got a copy of an advertisement from 200 years ago where a guy was trying to sell two mules, commonly called asses all the way back to the time the Bible was written.
This man had two asses for sale – one a “smart ass” and the other “a dumb ass.” This isn’t profanity at all but the way people talked long ago. A “dumb ass” just knew the commands “Go” and “Whoa,” whereas a “smart ass” knew the command “Gee” meant go right and “haw” meant go left.
So here we go. I have no idea where this essay originated but it delights me to share some knowledge:
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Where did "piss poor" come from? We older people need to learn something new every day... just to keep the grey matter tuned up. Kids need it so they know about their ancestors. This saying is an interesting and quite true part of history. Not until many centuries went by was “piss” ever considered a dirty word. It was what is was!
Many years ago people used urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot and then once a day it was taken and sold to the tannery. If you had to do this to survive you were "piss poor" but worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot ... they "didn't have a pot to piss in" and were the lowest of the low.
The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be.
Here are some facts about the 1500s. Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell, brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water!"
Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying, "It's raining cats and dogs."
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other stuff that dropped could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.
The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, "Dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way. Hence: a thresh hold.
In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme: “Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old".
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and “chew the fat.”
Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead-poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or “the upper crust.”
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would “wake up.” Hence the custom of “holding a wake".
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, one out of 25 coffins was found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive.
So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (considered “the graveyard shift”) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was "considered a dead ringer".
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So, there. Now you know what you didn’t know before you read this. And my hope is that your IQ just increased by two points.