Jen Jeffrey
What looked like a muffler in the middle of the interstate was not visible to me until seconds before I came upon it. I had two semi-trucks to deal with. As I saw the truck to my right, signaling to get over in my lane, I would have slowed down to let him in, but I had a car on my tail so I decided to just get in the lane to the left. Just as I had switched lanes, the semi that I was about to get behind, to the left of me switched lanes also. He tried avoiding the pipe or muffler piece in the lane.
Within seconds after the truck moved over to the next lane, I see the pipe, I can’t swerve either way and I hit it.
Having the piece of pipe hit my Jeep could have been pretty bad - maybe even fatal had it flown into my windshield causing it to break and then making me lose control of my Jeep in just a matter of seconds. But it hit up on the front bumper and was thrown to the side of my Jeep as I passed. Whew, that was close! As I continued toward my destination, I thought about what could have happened instead of what did happen. I was sandwiched between two semi-trucks and I was also driving very cautiously and the speed limit but still, in split-second-timing my fate could have been very different.
Of course, with the sigh of relief, that it was “no big deal” - I was okay and it didn’t hit into a car behind me either. But for some reason, I thought “what if it had gone up onto my windshield?” “What if I had lost control of my Jeep while being between two semi-trucks?” I thanked God for sending the angels that protected me from that. I prayed for other cars to see that piece of pipe in the road and be able to miss it. When you think of what could have happened, of course you begin to think of other things too.
Those brief moments that you think about “what if you die” - you go into an ephemeral daydream state of what will go on without you. I had an interview to get to so that was my first thought, “Who would tell the person I was about to interview why I didn’t show?” “Who knew where I was supposed to be or who I was going to see?” No one. I make my appointments, I don’t have an immediate person in my life that I would tell them what my day consist of or when I would be home. It made me think of my Dad. He died when I was 22. He was a businessman and very active. He lived in Frankfort, Ky., and he lived alone.
After suffering a heart attack in the middle of the night and not showing up for work the next two days, Daddy was found by my sister who also lived in Kentucky. He was only 56 when he died. He was still young and living on his own, taking care of himself. My sister was in the same town but Daddy still died alone. If he had had a wife beside him, maybe she would have felt him struggle in pain and would have been able to call someone to save his life.
I thought about a friend at church that I spoke with whose husband recently dealt with a heart attack in the middle of the night. She was there for him. I told her that I had been praying for her husband and that I also was praying for her, because I felt this urgency to pray for a dear wife that had to be so frightened that she could lose her husband. We know we won’t be here forever but we still do not like to watch our loved ones being taken from us or have friends who have their loved ones taken. All these thoughts that came swooping in went away and I continued my day.
Last week, when I got my cat Edward – it was to have a presence in the home. I had reluctantly wanted a cat because I was never much of a cat person. If you read last week, you know that I had enough reasons to not be a cat person. Another reason was because I didn’t want to be branded a “lonely old cat-lady”! I know, that is just a typecast but I had visions of me taking in every stray I saw and, to afford them, I would only buy cat food and eat it along with them. Okay, okay so I am being overdramatic… especially since… well, I gave Edward back. Luckily, a two-week trial period was required and the kennel that was trying to find a home for Edward really loved him and didn’t mind having him back.
So, I am not going to be a lonely old cat-lady. The moment that I said goodbye to Edward, I wasn’t sad because I knew it was not meant for me to have him. I took back the cat supplies that I had gotten. With my refund, I purchased a vacuum cleaner. I haven’t bought a lot of things for my apartment; I just don’t see the sense in it when it is just me. I had an electric sweeper or a “mini-vacuum” that seemed to do just fine before I had Edward. Now… I would need a really strong-suction vacuum cleaner to get up the hair!
Oh! I forgot how I loved to vacuum, to really vacuum! I had to put it together first. I was a girl… I don’t put vacuums together! I just know how to use one. But it had directions so I knew I had to give it a try. If it were everyday dust I could have waited for one of my sons to stop by and have him put it together, but I was on a mission! I had an EXORCISM to perform!
I started with my real ostrich-feathered extended-wand duster. This is my favorite tool that I have ever bought! It isn’t like those fake feathery things that just shift the dust. The real ostrich feathers have natural ostrich oil in it but it doesn’t stain the walls. I began at the top of each room, on top of the walls, door frames, light switches, and picture frames. I got every nook and cranny of the apartment in each room! Even the rooms Edward never entered. I did not want to be eating something later and seeing one teeny little cat hair float across on my food. I got the baseboards and under my desk- literally every inch. I was having a blast!
Then I took Lysol, Pledge and Windex and went to town cleaning each room, wiping down everything in sight. Each and every object was sparkling! There was no cat hair in sight! I think I was actually getting a little drunk or high from my excitement! When it is just me in this apartment, my messes are small and I take care of them pretty much right way. When I had a family to take care of, it required this type of deep-cleaning weekly and I loved it. I enjoyed putting love into my home and sharing the love that I put in it, with my family. By myself - there wasn’t much need for ‘sharing love’ – not with the special touches. But with my temporary visitor that made a mess all over the apartment with his shedding hair, I had something that I cared about again! I had a purpose!
I had decided that even though Edward was gone and I am not that messy, that I should do my weekly ritual of loving my house just as I did when I had a family to care for. Yes, it’s just me… but “I matter”. I have had to keep telling myself that over the past few years and I guess it applies to this as well. I always enjoy cleaning, but to really spruce it up and make it look like new – was not something that I did for myself. I did the weekly dusting, laundry and cleaning but not the extra touches I used to put into it. This time, because I was exorcising the place, I was doing the extras and it felt so good.
Now, all that was left to do was putting together a vacuum and getting the carpet finished! How hard could it be to attach a handle to a vacuum? I didn’t have a screw driver, so I used a knife. That didn’t work too well. It also had many more pieces to attach. I did pretty well with it but the screws needed to be tightened. I called my son who is good at putting things together and I knew he had a tool box. As I was talking to him, in mid-sentence I caught myself. I was about to ask my son who lives in Harrison to come over and bring his screwdriver.
I realized… I put together this vacuum all by myself. I figured it out. I wasn’t helpless. I only needed a screwdriver. Walmart and Dollar Tree were close by, surely I could get a screwdriver for less money that it would cost to have my son come out to tightens his mother’s loose screws - (stop grinning; I heard what I said as soon as I said it). But it was true. Once again, I am learning that I really do have everything I need and what I don’t – God soon provides.
Slowly but surely, I am learning to be on my own. I left my almost clean apartment and bought a screwdriver. After I drank that… just kidding – after I tightened the screws, I vacuumed the carpet all over. The exorcism was complete. I stood looking around at my sparkly place and I heard that tiny woman’s voice from the movie Poltergeist say “This house is clean!”
jen@jenjeffrey.com