So there I was standing in the kitchen a little while ago, spoon in    one hand and jar of Wally World, store brand, peanut butter in the    other. Bread has all those calories. What should I spy on the side    panel? "ALLERGY WARNING: CONTAINS PEANUTS." Peanut butter contains    peanuts? When did that happen?

    How many other blatantly obvious warnings do we see on a daily    basis, forced by legal beagles and government functionaries? We    certainly shouldn't use a blow dryer while standing in the shower or    bathtub, hold one hand in a sink full of water while we operate the    toaster or microwave, try to grab the blade of a circular saw when    it's running, or a chainsaw, stick a hand on a hot stove burner, eat    too many McBurgers, or too much ice cream. But people do it, don't    they, then turn around and sue the manufacturer for the consequences    of their personal, sometimes nonsensical actions. How much does all    this add to the cost of a product, and all because some government    functionary, or a lawyer, wants to flex the muscles he or she    perceives they have.

    It would be easy to become cynical about the "me, me, me... it's all    about me" attitude some of these have while they, figuratively, hock    loogies in the faces of the rest of us so they can feel powerful.

    It would be easy to become cynical when we see elected officials and    government functionaries spending tax dollars for their personal    feel good projects such as what they consider art, so-called green    energy, tax abatements for their buds and budettes in the real    estate development biz, studies about gang problems the cops already    know about, and any number of others... all on the backs of cops,    firefighters, and tax paying citizens while crime rates rise, cost    of living rises, and paychecks remain the same, if they even come    from the same employer.

    More loogies.

    It would be easy to become cynical watching all the political chest    thumping, slander and liable of one candidate toward another,    because politicians believe rumor and innuendo are always more    important than facts... as my favorite TreeHugger is wont to say.    Truth, character, and integrity don't seem to matter to some    politicians. What matters is who gains, or keeps, power. It doesn't    make any difference, establishment democrat or establishment    republican, they're in it for their own aggrandizement not what's    right and proper for society, those who pick up the tab.

    But what more can we expect when we have lawyers, like, floating    around the courthouse who don't understand that our government is a    republic, not a democracy, don't understand the legislative branch    of government makes law, not the courts, and the Declaration of    Independence, Articles of Confederation, and Constitution are all    separate documents created at different times in our history and all    serving different purposes. Is it any wonder they feel perfectly    justified in copping an attitude like the public defender's office    seems to be doing? And those judges... some of whom would presume    that most of us among the great unwashed don't need to learn all    that geometry and trigonometry stuff, or who might not recuse    themselves even when they have serious conflicts of interest.

    More loogies.

    But then we have other judges with the courage to stand up and do    what's right, and lawyers who will too. Some folks just don't seem    to like seeing bullies attempting to ply their chosen craft. This    is, after all, America.

    Almost 40 years ago Sammy Johns, of Chevy Van fame, wrote a song     that Waylon Jennings tweaked a little before recording it ten years    later, America.

    Some have said down through history
    If you last it's a mystery
    But I guess they don't know what they're talking about
    From the mountains down to the sea
    You've become such a habit with me
    America Amer-ica

    America... where our President can flap his jaws that those of us    who've hung everything out there to start and build businesses    couldn't have done it without government assistance, only to have    Iowa entrepreneur Ross Murty wear a    t-shirt boldly stating “Government didn’t build my business, I did."    when his company was contracted to cater a    presidential campaign event.

    America... where Chris and Kelly McMurray, who just opened their    Crumb and Get It Cookie Company in May, can tell Vice President    Biden's gang they won't allow their store to be used for a photo op    and later tell the crowd at a political rally in front of another    small business “We are gathered here today to send a message to the    Obama-Biden team that we did build it.’’

And some would say I'm an eye poker?

    America... where kids like those two little girls on Wilson Avenue    in Walden, Tn.,, will set up a lemonade stand to earn their own money.    It was pretty good lemonade too, but they're probably graduated from    college by now. Or a kid I knew in Charlotte whose Dad wouldn't let    him keep a stray dog unless he committed to support it, so he    started his own cleaning service... even did windows. Or another kid    who, at the ripe old age of 18 and already an alcoholic, woke up one    day and decided his current path wasn't one that would take him    where he wanted to go... so he sobered up, cleaned up, and started    his own handyman service.

    America... where my most recent favorite is one Mrs. Kerri Smith of    State College, Pa. She invented a unique maternity pillow while    pregnant and called it The BellyRest, just to discover that not only    are there federal regulations to abide by, but each State has its    own set too. For a pillow? She could have given up, thrown in the    towel, or the pillow, but that isn't the way she's built. She could    have whined and cried, held her hand out. She could have gone out    and borrowed money (in this economy?). No. Her husband's a web geek.    She's an artist in her own right, a singer and song writer, so they    put their heads together and decided to pre-sell her pillow to    PregoBabes via Indiegogo. She wrote a rap and they made a video,    then loaded it up on YouTube. Ol' KDiggy, Kerri's character in the    YouTube video, has got the gloves on and they're ready for action.    It wasn't long before she was able to get a toe in the door of    several media outlets. Now she's off to the races. There will be    some speed bumps, but from our discussions I suspect these will be    mere gravel patches for this lady. She's bound and determined to    create jobs, American jobs, good American jobs.

    Shades of Elvis and Roy...

    Every man knows better than to make a chick mad. It's a sure fire    way to discover, empirically and first hand, the true meaning of    audacity.

    America... there's no mystery. Audacity, pluck, tenacity,    determination, independent thinking, creativity, all contribute.    Bowed up, torqued off, PO'd, do too.

    But we also need to be careful what we ask a girl to help with. I    was having difficulty with a name for the newest family addition, a    male mixed pit bull puppy, and asked a Budette for some help. I    could understand Rex, Caninus Maximus, or even Spike, something    macho. Oh man, how do I hold my head high down at the store? "Yeah,    hey, this is the new guy... mixed pit..."

    Oops, I see one of my shoes bounding out into the field dragging a    brown and white fuzzball behind... again. I better go rescue Boo,    um, BooBoo Bear before he gets too traumatized. BooBoo Bear... pit    bull mix... this is so embarrassing.

Royce Burrage, Jr.