The Devil Is In It

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

You may already be familiar with this play, if so forgive me.  In any case, I am building to a mysterious conclusion -- a conclusion that has to do with the spelling of Saban's name* and Auburn's seemingly unexplained miraculous win over the Crimson Tide.  Change one letter in Saban's name and you get Satan. 

Anyone buying in to the preposterous notion that Nick Saban's name has anything to do with the devil, has been disastrously and miraculously proven wrong by the events in this last Iron Bowl where Alabama was bounced from the top spot in college football by an upstart Auburn team. 

But wait.

Some are saying that maybe the Auburn team is in league with .... Oh, how unspeakable.  But you know the devil dearly loves to meddle in the affairs of college football, and he has his favorites. Could it be true? 

No. No. No.  Saturday night a reporter from ESPN caught up with ole scratch himself having a beer in a Florida tavern the location of which the reporter would not disclose.  Here's the transcript of his interview.

ESPN -- "Mr D, would you care to comment on reports that are flying around that you favor War Eagle football, and caused the miraculous win by Auburn on two occasions in two games."

Mr D   -- "I categorically deny it.  I did not have sex with that woman." 

ESPN -- " Ah, excuse me, aren't you referring to another incident?"

Mr D   -- " Oh! Yes! I forgot where I was for a moment. What was the question?" 

ESPN -- " Did you finagle the Auburn win last Saturday?"

Mr D   --  Looking around to see who may be listening,  " I won't deny it." 

ESPN  -- " Are you saying that you are in league with the Auburn football program?"

Mr D    -- " in league with?  Oh my, that's such an old fashioned expression." 

ESPN  -- " Answer the question, D."

Mr D    -- "Feisty little rascal, aren't you? What team do you pull for?" 

ESPN  -- " I have to be impartial, besides, you are changing the subject."

Mr D    -- " Nobody's impartial, Buster. Everybody's got a team.  But mine ain't Auburn." 

ESPN  -- " But then ..."

Mr D    -- " Do I have to spell it out? Look at it this way, before today's game who was No. 1?" 

ESPN  -- " Alabama"

Mr D    -- " Right, and No. 2 is ...."? 

ESPN  -- " Florida State." 

Mr D    -- "Right again.  Now, if Auburn upsets Alabama, who becomes No. 1"? 

ESPN  -- " Florida State"

Mr D    -- "You're gettin' pretty good at this, doofus.  If all this happens, which teams will play for the National Championship?"

ESPN  -- " FSU and some team NOT from the SEC." Reporter's mouth drops open, "and the only team that can beat FSU is ..."

Mr D    -- " ... An SEC team, the Strongest Excellentest Conference in the whole world."

ESPN  -- " So you're a Florida State fan."

Mr D    -- " Always was, son." 

Everett Kidder


Roy Exum: My Garden In May

Back when we were kids this day’s battle cry was, “Hooray, hooray for the First of May! Outdoor swimming starts today! With temperatures in the high 80s and we dive in to a new month, our monthly walk in a garden heavy with spring time pollen looks promising … AN ORCHID for the movie “Rocky” on its 40 th anniversary: “Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t ... (click for more)

Bathroom Bills - And Response (7)

So much hatred is being directed towards the transgender community. All of these so called bathroom bills are a joke. It is all being done in the name of Christianity. If you are worried about predators in bathrooms, how about laws against pedophiles to keep kids safe. Keep sexual predators away from public restrooms. Pass laws that keep them isolated and away from children. ... (click for more)

Grocery, Retail, Parking Lots, Multi-Family Proposed To Build Out Lifestyle Way Near Hamilton Place

A grocery store, restaurants, much additional retail, large parking areas, and apartments are planned for 62 acres of the Lifestyle Way development near Hamilton Place Mall. The project by developers Ken and Byron Defoor has long been in the works, and previously has featured an Embassy Suites Hotel and a Mellow Mushroom and office near Shallowford Road long with some retail ... (click for more)

Expansion By Developers Of McCallie Commons Would Raze 3 Old Houses On Oak Street

Developers of the McCallie Commons student housing at McCallie and Central are wanting to expand the project, but it would involve tearing down three old homes on Oak Street. The proposal from developer David Hudson would be an expansion of the four-story apartment building and separate parking garage with 300 parking spaces proposed that was approved earlier. The original ... (click for more)

Slegers, Lookouts Shutout Biscuits Sunday, 1-0

Less than 24 hours after steamrolling the Lookouts 12-0 on Saturday night, the Biscuits bats were silenced by Aaron Slegers (2-1), as the 6'10" right-hander shutout the Biscuits 1-0 on Sunday afternoon in Chattanooga.   Slegers eight inning performance was his longest in 11 career Double-A starts and was the longest outing by a Lookouts pitcher this year.  The right-hander ... (click for more)

Baylor Baseball Complex Dedicated to the Etters and Wyatt McMahan

It was the summer of 1961 and a 10-year-old boy and a college grad were starting their baseball journey – a journey which would eventually connect them for decades to come. While Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris were chasing the ghost of Babe Ruth and the then home run record of 60 round trippers, Wyatt McMahan was in his first year in Joe Engel’s Knothole League in White Oak ... (click for more)