Bob Tamasy: Pain Of Rejection

Thursday, May 16, 2013 - by Bob Tamasy
Bob Tamasy
Bob Tamasy

How do you handle rejection?

Unfortunately, rejection is one of life’s constants. I remember as a boy when we chose sides for a ball game. Not being a natural athlete, I was never the first person selected. Sometimes I waited and waited until the captain of one of the teams finally pointed to me and said, “Robert.”

I remember the anxiety I felt attending a school “sock hop” and trying to muster up the courage to ask someone to dance. What if she said no? What if she realized I wasn’t a very good dancer? That fear continued into my dating years in high school and college, trying to find the boldness to ask an attractive young woman to go out. The possibility of being rejected was terrifying for a young man with an already fragile ego.

Rejection, of course, doesn’t end with college. You apply for a job, or engage in a job interview, where a prospective employer evaluates you and how well you could fill a specific role with the organization. Being rejected directly, or even indirectly when the promised “We’ll get back to you” never happens, is never enjoyable.

As a writer, the ominous threat of rejection became real when I started sending out query letters and proposals for magazine articles and books. How could anyone not be as enthused about my scintillating ideas as I was? Letters that said, “We regret to inform you that your idea does not fit our needs,” or the kinder, “The concept you suggest for your book is intriguing, but we’re sorry that we cannot consider it at this time,” were difficult. Even established authors like John Grisham, Stephen King and many others painfully recall rejection letters they accumulated over the years.

A book I’ve edited for a friend has just been sent to a publisher, and I’m excited about the impact it can have. It’s an inspiring story about overcoming rejection and using that as motivation to keep trying, never giving up. The question is not whether we’ll experience rejection, but rather how we respond when we do.

Recently I came across a Bible passage about rejection that struck me as never before. It talks about Jesus: “As you come to him, the living Stone – rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to him…. ‘The stone the builders rejected has become the capstone,’ and ‘A stone that causes men to stumble and a rock that makes them fall’” (1 Peter 2:4-8).

The times when I’ve been rejected were hard, but understandable. I wasn’t fast or agile enough, not experienced or talented enough, perhaps not “cool” enough. I was rejected because I was deemed unworthy. But considering the rejection of Jesus, who did no wrong and performed so much good, defies my comprehension.

He healed the sick, gave sight to the blind and hearing to the deaf, and showed compassion to the emotionally and spiritually wounded, yet He was rejected. And that rejection, unlike my own, led to an excruciating death on a cross.

This rejection continues today. To my knowledge, Jesus Christ is the only name of a religious or spiritual leader that is used as an expletive, a curse word. Not Mohammad, Confucius, Buddha, Krishna, or anyone else you can think of. Interesting, isn’t it?

And for people like me, whether we call ourselves Christians, followers of Jesus or His disciples, we encounter increasing ridicule, even malice. However, it’s usually not us being rejecting, but Him.

All I know is what 2 Corinthians 5:21 tells me: “For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.” Amazingly – even unbelievably – Jesus endured ultimate rejection so that I – and all who would receive His offer of forgiveness and mercy – could be reconciled to God. That, as the famous hymn tells us, is “Amazing Grace.”

---

Robert J. Tamasy is a veteran journalist, a former newspaper editor and magazine editor. He is presently vice president of communications for Leaders Legacy, Inc., a non-profit focused on mentoring and coaching business and professional leaders. Bob has written hundreds of magazine articles, and has authored, co-authored and edited more than 15 books. These include “Tufting Legacies,” “The Heart of Mentoring,” “Business at Its Best,” and “Pursuing Life With a Shepherd’s Heart.” He edits a weekly business meditation, “Monday Manna,” which is translated into more than 20 languages and distributed via email around the world by CBMC International. He also posts regularly on two blogs, www.bobtamasy.blogspot.com, and www.bobtamasy.wordpress.com.)



Scenic City Women's Network July Marketplace Luncheon Is July 23

The Scenic City Women's Network July Marketplace Luncheon featuring Barbara Woods will be Thursday, July 23, from 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m.  Mrs. Woods will share from Word of God about what a woman of faith looks like.  A woman of faith comes in all shapes, sizes and colors.   Barbara Woods is a woman of God who believes and teaches the Word of God.  She ... (click for more)

Chattanooga Zen Group And Unitarian Universalist Church Offer Free Buddhism And Zen Classes

The Chattanooga Zen Group, in partnership with the Unitarian Universalist Church, will offer a series of three free classes as an “Introduction to Buddhism and Zen.” Each class will be self-contained, so that a student can attend one, two, or all three and each will include instruction in the basics of “zazen,” which is Zen-style meditation. It is not necessary to be able to sit ... (click for more)

City Council Members Call For Definition Of Gender Expression; Public Comments

A potential non-discrimination ordinance for same-sex city employees continued as a point of contention in a city council meeting on Tuesday as some called for further definitions about “gender expression and identity,” and posed questions about how the ordinance may limit the freedom of religious residents or affect individual privacy in public restrooms. The ordinance ... (click for more)

Prosecutors Take New Charge Against Doggart To Knoxville Grand Jury

Federal prosecutors on Tuesday obtained an indictment from a federal Grand Jury in Knoxville on a new charge against a Signal Mountain man charged with making threats against a Muslim settlement in New York. The case will remain in Chattanooga, however. RoVanita Gupta, the head of the Civil Rights Division, and Bill Killian, the U.S. Attorney for the Eastern District ... (click for more)

Why Chattanooga Should Stop Granting Apartment Complex PILOTs - And Response

A new report indicates why Chattanooga and Hamilton County officials do not need to extend PILOTs to apartment complex developers. Demand is high, therefore developers will continue to build to meet the demand without PILOTs. What is truly needed in the Chattanooga metroplex is low-income affordable housing. “Homeownership Drops to Lowest Level in Decades” ... (click for more)

Roy Exum: Twenty-One, The Wolf

Carl Safina, who is a modern-day genius when it comes to animals and nature, entered my world earlier this week when I read a story he had written about a wolf. Twenty-one, as the wolf was known by his tag number in Yellowstone National Park, was surely the greatest wolf that ever lived. He was legendary in that he never lost a fight when other wolves would challenge his territory ... (click for more)