Bob Tamasy: Pain Of Rejection

Thursday, May 16, 2013 - by Bob Tamasy
Bob Tamasy
Bob Tamasy

How do you handle rejection?

Unfortunately, rejection is one of life’s constants. I remember as a boy when we chose sides for a ball game. Not being a natural athlete, I was never the first person selected. Sometimes I waited and waited until the captain of one of the teams finally pointed to me and said, “Robert.”

I remember the anxiety I felt attending a school “sock hop” and trying to muster up the courage to ask someone to dance. What if she said no? What if she realized I wasn’t a very good dancer? That fear continued into my dating years in high school and college, trying to find the boldness to ask an attractive young woman to go out. The possibility of being rejected was terrifying for a young man with an already fragile ego.

Rejection, of course, doesn’t end with college. You apply for a job, or engage in a job interview, where a prospective employer evaluates you and how well you could fill a specific role with the organization. Being rejected directly, or even indirectly when the promised “We’ll get back to you” never happens, is never enjoyable.

As a writer, the ominous threat of rejection became real when I started sending out query letters and proposals for magazine articles and books. How could anyone not be as enthused about my scintillating ideas as I was? Letters that said, “We regret to inform you that your idea does not fit our needs,” or the kinder, “The concept you suggest for your book is intriguing, but we’re sorry that we cannot consider it at this time,” were difficult. Even established authors like John Grisham, Stephen King and many others painfully recall rejection letters they accumulated over the years.

A book I’ve edited for a friend has just been sent to a publisher, and I’m excited about the impact it can have. It’s an inspiring story about overcoming rejection and using that as motivation to keep trying, never giving up. The question is not whether we’ll experience rejection, but rather how we respond when we do.

Recently I came across a Bible passage about rejection that struck me as never before. It talks about Jesus: “As you come to him, the living Stone – rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to him…. ‘The stone the builders rejected has become the capstone,’ and ‘A stone that causes men to stumble and a rock that makes them fall’” (1 Peter 2:4-8).

The times when I’ve been rejected were hard, but understandable. I wasn’t fast or agile enough, not experienced or talented enough, perhaps not “cool” enough. I was rejected because I was deemed unworthy. But considering the rejection of Jesus, who did no wrong and performed so much good, defies my comprehension.

He healed the sick, gave sight to the blind and hearing to the deaf, and showed compassion to the emotionally and spiritually wounded, yet He was rejected. And that rejection, unlike my own, led to an excruciating death on a cross.

This rejection continues today. To my knowledge, Jesus Christ is the only name of a religious or spiritual leader that is used as an expletive, a curse word. Not Mohammad, Confucius, Buddha, Krishna, or anyone else you can think of. Interesting, isn’t it?

And for people like me, whether we call ourselves Christians, followers of Jesus or His disciples, we encounter increasing ridicule, even malice. However, it’s usually not us being rejecting, but Him.

All I know is what 2 Corinthians 5:21 tells me: “For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.” Amazingly – even unbelievably – Jesus endured ultimate rejection so that I – and all who would receive His offer of forgiveness and mercy – could be reconciled to God. That, as the famous hymn tells us, is “Amazing Grace.”


Robert J. Tamasy is a veteran journalist, a former newspaper editor and magazine editor. He is presently vice president of communications for Leaders Legacy, Inc., a non-profit focused on mentoring and coaching business and professional leaders. Bob has written hundreds of magazine articles, and has authored, co-authored and edited more than 15 books. These include “Tufting Legacies,” “The Heart of Mentoring,” “Business at Its Best,” and “Pursuing Life With a Shepherd’s Heart.” He edits a weekly business meditation, “Monday Manna,” which is translated into more than 20 languages and distributed via email around the world by CBMC International. He also posts regularly on two blogs,, and

Bob Tamasy: What Are You Thankful For?

This year Thursday, Nov. 26 is designated for our annual celebration of Thanksgiving Day, a festive time for gathering with family and friends, consuming huge amounts of food, perhaps watching a parade or two, as well as a couple of football games, and oh yeah, by the way, giving thanks to God for our blessings. It’s a great tradition – that is, unless you’re a turkey, in which ... (click for more)

Churches Provide Thanksgiving Dinners For Metropolitan Ministries' Clients

Once again this year, three local churches have provided Thanksgiving dinners for Metropolitan Ministries’ clients who could otherwise not afford the traditional Thanksgiving Feast. St. Martin’s Episcopal Church and St. Thaddaeus’ Episcopal Church have provided Thanksgiving dinners for 24 families, and Grace Episcopal Church provided hundreds of dollars worth of Food City gift cards ... (click for more)

Larry Schumacher Named Chief Executive Officer Of CHI Memorial

T he board of directors of CHI Memorial and Catholic Health Initiatives (CHI) have chosen Larry Schumacher as the chief executive officer (CEO) of CHI Memorial effective Jan. 4, 2016 . Mr. Schumacher comes to CHI Memorial from Hospital Sisters Health System (HSHS) based in Springfield, Illinois where he served as system chief operating officer for the past eight years.  ... (click for more)

Chattanooga Under Flood Watch Through Wednesday

With a steady rain set to continue through Wednesday, Chattanooga is under a flood watch. Over four inches of rain are expected in some areas. Here is the advisory from the National Weather Service: ...LOCALIZED FLOODING POSSIBLE ACROSS EAST TENNESSEE AND SOUTHWEST VIRGINIA THROUGH WEDNESDAY MORNING... .THE COMBINATION OF DEEP SUBTROPICAL MOISTURE AND A SLOW MOVING FRONTAL ... (click for more)

Why Are We Allowing Poor Architecture And Urban Design Downtown?

   Over the past four decades our fair city has enjoyed striking improvements to our City Center and Northshore areas in large part due to citizen input and the guidance of the former Urban Design Studio. We are now widely recognized as a hotbed of entrepreneurship, neighborhood revitalization and good Urban Design. At the most recent City Council meeting, the leader and ... (click for more)

Roy Exum: My Great Thanksgiving

In order for you to best understand this, last Thursday was the first Thanksgiving I have ever spent alone.  Don’t misunderstand, I had a fistful of kind invitations but I am the only remaining member of my immediate family around here and I guess I started dwelling on that a little too much as the holiday neared. Making out my “thankful” list helped, and I ate enough with ... (click for more)