Bob Tamasy: Pain Of Rejection

Thursday, May 16, 2013 - by Bob Tamasy
Bob Tamasy
Bob Tamasy

How do you handle rejection?

Unfortunately, rejection is one of life’s constants. I remember as a boy when we chose sides for a ball game. Not being a natural athlete, I was never the first person selected. Sometimes I waited and waited until the captain of one of the teams finally pointed to me and said, “Robert.”

I remember the anxiety I felt attending a school “sock hop” and trying to muster up the courage to ask someone to dance. What if she said no? What if she realized I wasn’t a very good dancer? That fear continued into my dating years in high school and college, trying to find the boldness to ask an attractive young woman to go out. The possibility of being rejected was terrifying for a young man with an already fragile ego.

Rejection, of course, doesn’t end with college. You apply for a job, or engage in a job interview, where a prospective employer evaluates you and how well you could fill a specific role with the organization. Being rejected directly, or even indirectly when the promised “We’ll get back to you” never happens, is never enjoyable.

As a writer, the ominous threat of rejection became real when I started sending out query letters and proposals for magazine articles and books. How could anyone not be as enthused about my scintillating ideas as I was? Letters that said, “We regret to inform you that your idea does not fit our needs,” or the kinder, “The concept you suggest for your book is intriguing, but we’re sorry that we cannot consider it at this time,” were difficult. Even established authors like John Grisham, Stephen King and many others painfully recall rejection letters they accumulated over the years.

A book I’ve edited for a friend has just been sent to a publisher, and I’m excited about the impact it can have. It’s an inspiring story about overcoming rejection and using that as motivation to keep trying, never giving up. The question is not whether we’ll experience rejection, but rather how we respond when we do.

Recently I came across a Bible passage about rejection that struck me as never before. It talks about Jesus: “As you come to him, the living Stone – rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to him…. ‘The stone the builders rejected has become the capstone,’ and ‘A stone that causes men to stumble and a rock that makes them fall’” (1 Peter 2:4-8).

The times when I’ve been rejected were hard, but understandable. I wasn’t fast or agile enough, not experienced or talented enough, perhaps not “cool” enough. I was rejected because I was deemed unworthy. But considering the rejection of Jesus, who did no wrong and performed so much good, defies my comprehension.

He healed the sick, gave sight to the blind and hearing to the deaf, and showed compassion to the emotionally and spiritually wounded, yet He was rejected. And that rejection, unlike my own, led to an excruciating death on a cross.

This rejection continues today. To my knowledge, Jesus Christ is the only name of a religious or spiritual leader that is used as an expletive, a curse word. Not Mohammad, Confucius, Buddha, Krishna, or anyone else you can think of. Interesting, isn’t it?

And for people like me, whether we call ourselves Christians, followers of Jesus or His disciples, we encounter increasing ridicule, even malice. However, it’s usually not us being rejecting, but Him.

All I know is what 2 Corinthians 5:21 tells me: “For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.” Amazingly – even unbelievably – Jesus endured ultimate rejection so that I – and all who would receive His offer of forgiveness and mercy – could be reconciled to God. That, as the famous hymn tells us, is “Amazing Grace.”

---

Robert J. Tamasy is a veteran journalist, a former newspaper editor and magazine editor. He is presently vice president of communications for Leaders Legacy, Inc., a non-profit focused on mentoring and coaching business and professional leaders. Bob has written hundreds of magazine articles, and has authored, co-authored and edited more than 15 books. These include “Tufting Legacies,” “The Heart of Mentoring,” “Business at Its Best,” and “Pursuing Life With a Shepherd’s Heart.” He edits a weekly business meditation, “Monday Manna,” which is translated into more than 20 languages and distributed via email around the world by CBMC International. He also posts regularly on two blogs, www.bobtamasy.blogspot.com, and www.bobtamasy.wordpress.com.)



Rock Island Missionary Baptist Observes 14th Pastoral Anniversary This Weekend

Rock Island Missionary Baptist Church, located at 2106 Camden Street, in East Chattanooga will observe the 14th anniversary of their pastor, Ronald B. Cook, Sr. with the following guests and praise and worship services: Revival this  Thursday at 7 p.m.  Guests are Pastor Ezra Mayes and the Friendship Community Church. Revival this  Friday at 7 p.m. ... (click for more)

Ballet Magnificat! To Continue Fall U-Church Series

The professional Christian ballet company Ballet Magnificat! will continue Lee University’s U-Church series with a performance on Sunday, Oct. 26, at 7:30 p.m. in the Conn Center. Ballet Magnificat!, described as the premiere Christian dance company in the United States, was founded in 1986 and now performs over 200 times annually. Under the direction of executive director Keith ... (click for more)

Man Shot At Apartments On Tunnel Boulevard Wednesday Afternoon, Then 2 Juveniles Shot At Rec Center On Oakwood Drive With Suspects In Custody

Chattanooga police officers responded to the apartment buildings at 404 Tunnel Blvd. Wednesday at 1:21 p.m., where residents say they heard multiple shots fired.  Witnesses said they saw multiple suspects fleeing the scene on foot behind the complex.  The male victim was taken to a local hospital for life threatening gunshot wounds.  Later Wednesday, ... (click for more)

Several Arrested Outside Erlanger Hospital When Crowd Gathers After Woodlawn Shooting

Several people were arrested Monday night outside Erlanger Hospital after a crowd gathered and clashed with police. The crowd included family and friends of 20-year-old Apprentice Berry, who was shot multiple times and killed earlier Monday night at the Woodlawn Apartments on Wilson Street. Erlanger officials said the group gathered at the emergency room, but were later moved ... (click for more)

Chattanooga Has Lost Its Most Popular Citizen - Luther Masingill - And Response

Chattanooga has lost its most popular citizen – Luther Masingill. Although we are saddened we cherish the memories.  All of us have a Luther story.  Mine is the first time I met Luther.  This was before TV and all of Chattanooga listened to Luther on the radio.  I was 12-years-old.  Some of my buddies and I had gone to the State Theater in downtown ... (click for more)

Roy Exum: The Policeman’s Prayer

Every year, when the Law Enforcement Foundation of Greater Chattanooga holds its annual luncheon, it is one of the most heartening displays of what America really believes, down deep inside. The most prominent and influential leaders in the community – well over 1,000 -- gather to pay tribute and pledge their support to our heroes in blue who are unfaltering in their devotion, service ... (click for more)