Jody Baker: Incredible Imbecility

Friday, June 28, 2013 - by Jody Baker

In *The Five Orange Pips* John Openshaw had already told Sherlock Holmes the details of the mysterious death of his uncle, Elias Openahaw. Elias was found face downwards in two feet of water in a little green-scummed pool. That death was ruled -- suicide. Now, John Openshaw was putting before Holmes the details of the death of his own father, Joseph Openshaw. Joseph was found lying senseless with a shattered skull in a chalk-pit. That was ruled -- death from accidental causes.

Sherlock Holmes admonished young Openshaw: “Tut! tut! You must act, man, or you are lost. Nothing but energy can save you. This is no time for despair.”

Openshaw advised Holmes: “I have seen the police…..But they listened to my story with a smile. I am convinced that the inspector has formed the opinion that the letters [warnings from KKK] are all practical jokes, and that the deaths of my relations were really accidents …and were not to be connected with the warnings.”

Holmes shook his clenched hands in the air. “Incredible imbecility!” he cried. 

“‘Incredible Imbecility’--- ‘Incredible Imbecility’” I said to Mrs. Baynes. “What a marvellous expression! What an excellent combination of words and of concepts. It is a delight to the ear and a titivation of the mind. It is the ultimate in perspicuity. I’ll bet that Peter Blau is pleased that Holmes came up with that one.”

Then, I continued, “You know, Mrs. Baynes, I wish that I had said that.” 

“ I’m sure you will, Inspector. No doubt about it; I’m sure you will,” she said as she left the room.

Respectfully,
Insp. Baynes


(Jody Baker is a Chattanooga attorney, who specializes in Sherlock Holmes lore. He can be reached at josiahbaker@bkhcw.com.) 


Overblown Nonsense

Attorney John Cavett said it is ridiculous "to suggest that she was the perpetrator." Thank God that someone stated how I perceive this drama. If Bobby Stone had not crossed reasonable boundaries in an argument, then assaulted his wife, none of this would be the drama that it has been made out to be. Listen folks, we have serious problems here in Chattanooga and do not ... (click for more)

Mayor's Friends Should Rally Around

I have been keeping up with the latest news about Mayor Burke. I have also seen that the media is breaking their necks trying to get the latest.  I live in a glass house, the glass is very thin and a blade of grass would crack it.  My thinking of this is, if you are a true friend of the mayor, let him know...If you say you are a friend of the mayor and turn your back ... (click for more)

Attorney Says Lacie Stone, Advisor To Mayor Berke, Is Victim, Not Instigator

The attorney for advisor to Mayor Andy Berke Lacie Stone said she has been thrust into the spotlight, but said she is "the victim of an unprovoked attack" by her husband, Bobby Stone. Attorney John Cavett said it is ridiculous "to suggest that she was the perpetrator." Mr. Stone is facing charges of domestic assault and vandalism. Attorney Cavett said, "It is unfortunate ... (click for more)

Dr. Russell Dyer Chosen As Director Of Schools By Cleveland City School Board

The Cleveland City School board unanimously voted Thursday afternoon to offer the job of director of Schools to Dr. Russell Dyer. Dr. Dyer serves as the chief of staff of schools in Collierville, Tn.  If Dr. Dyer accepts the school board's contract, he will be paid $132,500 a year.  After contract negotiations, the board plans for Dr. Dyer to start at Cleveland City ... (click for more)

Peterson's Emotional Race Helps Signal Mountain Win

MURFREESBORO – It’s one thing to win one state championship in track.  It becomes a tougher challenge to repeat and at times impossible to even think about a three-peat. But that’s what the Signal Mountain Lady Eagles did here at the Dean A. Hayes Track & Soccer Stadium on the campus of Middle Tennessee State University early Thursday evening. Signal Mountain ... (click for more)

Baylor Rocks GPS, 8-2, For Shot At 10th State Softball Championship

MURFREESBORO, Tenn. – The magic number Baylor’s softball team has in mind now is 10. After polishing off bitter rival Girls Preparatory School – a seemingly constant opponent at TSSAA’s Spring Fling – by 8-2 Thursday in the Division II-AA winner’s bracket final, the Lady Red Raiders are zeroed in on a game that could produce their 10 th  state championship.  “It ... (click for more)