Chattanooga’s Live Music Scene – The Propofol Shuffle

Friday, July 12, 2013 - by Bob Payne
Bob Payne
Bob Payne
- photo by The Doctor

It’s been 5 years, so this week I got to go in for my colonoscopy again. Time flies when you are having fun, but nothing like it does under the influence of Michael Jackson’s favorite drug – Propofol. That is the stuff they give you, via IV, in the operating room, right before they perform a colonoscopy. 

About 1 in 20 Americans will develop colorectal cancer in their lifetime. 140,000 cases are diagnosed each year and those result in 49,000 deaths. It is the third most common cancer and one of the most preventable. 49,000 deaths. That is more than the combined total of persons dying from murder, shark attacks, car accidents, and dinosaur related deaths.

Doctors recommend a colonoscopy starting at age 50 every 10 years. If they find some polyps during a colonoscopy, they usually remove them at the same time and then the recommendation changes to once every five years. You have to renew your driver’s license more often than that, and you don’t even have to go to the DMV for a colonoscopy. If you have insurance, it will cover it according to the schedule your doctor prescribes, usually at 100%.

The worst part of a colonoscopy is not the procedure – that’s pretty much the fun part, as you are knocked out cold while your doctor plays roto-rooter man. No, the worst part is drinking the weird stuff they give you the night before the procedure. It is designed to clean out your system so roto-rooter man can see with his tiny camera. Just stay close to the bathroom the night before and all will be fine.

On the day of the procedure, you will report to the hospital or clinic and a whole bunch of people will ask you if you followed the rules and had nothing to eat or drink after midnight. Assuming you did as instructed, they will inject you with some Profolol and within seconds you will be out like a light. About 20 minutes later, you will wake up and once you can tell the nurse your name and who won the 1956 World Series, you can go home. You have to have someone drive you out of there, as you may be a bit groggy for a few hours. In my case, I went home and took a nice nap and then went and judged the Texaco Country Showcase that evening at Rhythm & Brews. No big deal, and I get to live a while longer without colorectal cancer to get in my way.

If you are 50 and haven’t had a colonoscopy, talk to your doctor about getting one. It doesn’t have to be that bad – make a fun day of it. This year, I asked my doctor to be sure and tell Pat that he didn’t find my head in there anywhere, as I have been accused of having it there on more than one occasion. I even bragged to my friend Bruce that I got to have one Wednesday and he didn’t. He was quite jealous, too, as he also enjoys his colonoscopies.

There is lots of fun stuff to do in Chattanooga this weekend, including the Beaters 150th anniversary reunion at Rhythm & Brews tonight. Queen Lightning is at Buds, tonight. Toad the Wet Sprocket is at Track 29 tonight, but tomorrow’s Old Crow Medicine Show is sold out. Soul Survivor is at Sugars BBQ Downtown both nights. Megan Jean and the KFB is JJ’s Bohemia on Saturday Night, and one of my new favorites, Rag Doll, is at Bud’s Sportsbar on Saturday night. Don’t forget Nightfall tonight and the Chattanooga Market on Sunday! I can do all of those things, and I had a colonoscopy 48 hours ago, so you have no excuse. With a little luck, I'll be able to them for many years to come, too!

For local music info, try or They both have great local music info and schedules. For local info on Country music, try Jim Boles’ site

Email Bob Payne at or catch him on Facebook at

Lee To Host Faculty Brass Concert

Lee University faculty members Drs. Gordon James, Bill Pritchard, Doug Warner, and Nathan Warner, along with Lee student Matt Kelly, will present a brass concert on Tuesday at 7:30 p.m. in the Lee Chapel.  The evening will feature a variety of Christmastide selections and will invite all in attendance to participate in a carol sing-a-long.  As principal horn of the ... (click for more)

Courtney Holder And Mark Kelly Hall To Play At Puckett's On Friday, Roger Alan Wade On Saturday

Courtney Holder and  Mark Kelly Hall, both singer/songwriters from the Chattanooga area, will bring the Nashville experience to Puckett’s Chattanooga on  Friday . Starting at  9 p.m ., the two will performing their original songs along with a few familiar tunes in an all-acoustic writers round format made popular at well-known venues in Music City. Admission ... (click for more)

Fire Breaks Out At McKee Bakery Plant 2; Damages Listed At $15,000; Propane Tanks Were Near Blaze

Fire broke out at a McKee Food plant at Collegedale on Saturday night. At 6:45 p.m. , an employee at McKee Foods called 911 call reporting a fire at McKee Foods Plant 2 located at 10260 McKee Dr. Tri-Community Volunteer Fire Department responded and arrived on the scene reporting flames 15 feet high at one end of the building of Plant 2. According to fire officials, ... (click for more)

Woman Shot Saturday Night Near O'Rear Street

A woman was shot while driving on Saturday night. Just after  9 p.m.  the Chattanooga Police Department responded to reports of a person shot. Once on scene, police located a female victim near the 2500 block of O'Rear Street suffering from a life-threatening gunshot wound to the face. The victim was driving a vehicle when the vehicle was struck by gunfire. She  ... (click for more)

Lung Cancer, The Deadliest Cancer In The United States

This time of year, I remember to give thanks for my faith, my family and friends and my health. Recently, I learned that lung cancer is the deadliest form of cancer in the United States; in fact, more Americans die each year from lung cancer than any other type of cancer. One in 13 men and one in 16 women will develop the disease in their lifetime. It’s important to learn about ... (click for more)

Roy Exum: The Trouble With Chicago

On “Black Friday” night, I saw television footage of what was said to be about 2,000 people marching in protest in Chicago. The very vocal mob descended on the toniest street – Michigan Avenue – to spew its rage over a police officer who shot and killed a 17-year-old, this over a year ago in October of 2014. The just-released tapes of the incident embroiled the blacks who insist ... (click for more)