Chattanooga’s Live Music Scene – The Propofol Shuffle

Friday, July 12, 2013 - by Bob Payne
Bob Payne
Bob Payne
- photo by The Doctor

It’s been 5 years, so this week I got to go in for my colonoscopy again. Time flies when you are having fun, but nothing like it does under the influence of Michael Jackson’s favorite drug – Propofol. That is the stuff they give you, via IV, in the operating room, right before they perform a colonoscopy. 

About 1 in 20 Americans will develop colorectal cancer in their lifetime. 140,000 cases are diagnosed each year and those result in 49,000 deaths. It is the third most common cancer and one of the most preventable. 49,000 deaths. That is more than the combined total of persons dying from murder, shark attacks, car accidents, and dinosaur related deaths.

Doctors recommend a colonoscopy starting at age 50 every 10 years. If they find some polyps during a colonoscopy, they usually remove them at the same time and then the recommendation changes to once every five years. You have to renew your driver’s license more often than that, and you don’t even have to go to the DMV for a colonoscopy. If you have insurance, it will cover it according to the schedule your doctor prescribes, usually at 100%.

The worst part of a colonoscopy is not the procedure – that’s pretty much the fun part, as you are knocked out cold while your doctor plays roto-rooter man. No, the worst part is drinking the weird stuff they give you the night before the procedure. It is designed to clean out your system so roto-rooter man can see with his tiny camera. Just stay close to the bathroom the night before and all will be fine.

On the day of the procedure, you will report to the hospital or clinic and a whole bunch of people will ask you if you followed the rules and had nothing to eat or drink after midnight. Assuming you did as instructed, they will inject you with some Profolol and within seconds you will be out like a light. About 20 minutes later, you will wake up and once you can tell the nurse your name and who won the 1956 World Series, you can go home. You have to have someone drive you out of there, as you may be a bit groggy for a few hours. In my case, I went home and took a nice nap and then went and judged the Texaco Country Showcase that evening at Rhythm & Brews. No big deal, and I get to live a while longer without colorectal cancer to get in my way.

If you are 50 and haven’t had a colonoscopy, talk to your doctor about getting one. It doesn’t have to be that bad – make a fun day of it. This year, I asked my doctor to be sure and tell Pat that he didn’t find my head in there anywhere, as I have been accused of having it there on more than one occasion. I even bragged to my friend Bruce that I got to have one Wednesday and he didn’t. He was quite jealous, too, as he also enjoys his colonoscopies.

There is lots of fun stuff to do in Chattanooga this weekend, including the Beaters 150th anniversary reunion at Rhythm & Brews tonight. Queen Lightning is at Buds, tonight. Toad the Wet Sprocket is at Track 29 tonight, but tomorrow’s Old Crow Medicine Show is sold out. Soul Survivor is at Sugars BBQ Downtown both nights. Megan Jean and the KFB is JJ’s Bohemia on Saturday Night, and one of my new favorites, Rag Doll, is at Bud’s Sportsbar on Saturday night. Don’t forget Nightfall tonight and the Chattanooga Market on Sunday! I can do all of those things, and I had a colonoscopy 48 hours ago, so you have no excuse. With a little luck, I'll be able to them for many years to come, too!

For local music info, try www.chattanoogaentertainers.com or www.chattanooganightscope.com. They both have great local music info and schedules. For local info on Country music, try Jim Boles’ site www.chattacountry.ning.com.

Email Bob Payne at davrik2000@yahoo.com or catch him on Facebook at www.facebook.com/davrik2000.


Chattanooga Film Festival Announces Cine-Rama Summer Series

The Chattanooga Film Festival is hosting a Cine-Rama Summer Series with a collection of six classic films.  From samurais, to alien landscapes, to an unforgettable installment from the sultan of sleaze, John Waters, each week in July and August, CFF’s own Cine-Rama will present an eclectic mix of movie masterpieces, many of which appear in newly restored versions.  ... (click for more)

Pops On The River Set For Sunday At Coolidge Park

The 2016 Pops on the River Independence Day celebration will take place on Sunday in Coolidge Park, thanks to the support of the city of Chattanooga and ArtsBuild. This community event will feature a free outdoor patriotic concert by the Chattanooga Symphony & Opera as well as performances from veteran songwriters with “Operation Song.” A large fireworks display is scheduled ... (click for more)

Teen Shot Multiple Times On 4th Avenue; No Reportable Suspect Information Available

A teen was shot multiple times on 4th Avenue on Monday night. The victim was 19-year-old JaMarcus Davis. Chattanooga Police responded at 7:20 p.m. to the area of the 2600 block of 4th Avenue on the report of shots fired. Police did not locate any victims at this location. A victim with multiple non-life threatening gunshot wounds arrived at a local hospital by personal ... (click for more)

Cleveland City Council Unanimously Approves Contract For New City Manager; Fivas To Make $140,000

The Cleveland City Council has unanimously approved a contract with Joe Fivas  as the next city manager. The council also created a new position, assistant city manager/chief financial officer. It is now one of two assistant city manager positions. Assistant City Manager Melinda Carroll will continue her management role with the title of assistant city manager/operations. ... (click for more)

General Bell: Chattanooga Needs The Coolidge Medal Of Honor Heritage Center - And Response (3)

I'm pleased and indeed compelled to let you know a bit more about the exciting and most honorable "Charles H. Coolidge Medal of Honor Heritage Center" planned for Coolidge Park.     Here's what the Heritage Center will be:  It will be a fitting capstone for Chattanooga's Coolidge Park on Northshore in downtown Chattanooga.  While this exceptional Chattanooga ... (click for more)

Roy Exum: Pat Summitt’s Dash

In 1996 a woman named Linda Ellis wrote one of life’s most beautiful poems. Called “The Dash,” its first two verses read like this: “I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend. He referred to the dates on the tombstone from the beginning…to the end. “He noted that first came the date of birth and spoke the following date with tears, but he said what ... (click for more)