Roy Exum: My Soggy September Garden

Sunday, September 01, 2013 - by Roy Exum
Roy Exum
Roy Exum

As September’s sun begins to bless my garden, I find that my orchids are about to drown and my onion patch is mighty soggy. So far this year we have more than 21 inches of rain than is normal and a wet August – three inches more than normal –  didn’t help matters. But don’t worry … I still have enough to pass out on the first week of college football to those who I think deserve them:

AN ORCHID to Baker Mayfield, who just might have earned a scholarship after the true freshman threw four touchdown passes to lead Texas Tech to a 41-23 win over SMU Friday night. It is believed that Mayfield – who ran for another TD -- is the first non-scholarship freshman to ever start at quarterback in the first game during the BCS era. We already know his coach, Kliff Kingsbury, is the youngest head coach in the nation at 34. (Penn State started true freshman Christian Hackenberg against Syracuse on Saturday but Hackenburg – on scholarship since January – was one of the most widely-recruited high school players in the country last year.)

AN ONION to my Mocs football team for losing the season opener to a good UT-Martin team but it is believed a football team learns more between the first and second game than at any other point during the year. Let’s hope the Thursday night wake-up call will serve as an impetus for the rest of the season.

AN ORCHID to North Dakota State, last year’s FCS champion, for upsetting mighty Kansas State on Friday night. Kansas State, flirting for No. 1 in the late-season polls last year while winning a share of the Big 12 crown, had a measly 55 yards rushing in the humiliating 24-21 loss. (To further heighten the embarrassment, Kansas State unveiled a huge statue of head coach Bill Snyder on Friday.)

AN ONION to the New England Patriots for cutting former Heisman winner Tim Tebow. I would have kept him on the roster as a team leader. Owner Kraft felt the same way, saying earlier in the week, “I’m rooting for him big time,” Kraft said just before the Patriots’  annual kickoff gala. “I’m in his corner, but I have the privilege of letting (coach Bill Belichick) make those decisions. He has a pretty good record doing it.”

AN ORCHID to Alabama and Georgia, two SEC teams the bookies in Las Vegas say will be favored in every game this year. The oddsmakers say the same about Ohio State, Oregon and Louisville. For the record, Georgia will face four teams in the current Top 25 poll while Ohio State and Oregon will each play three teams now rated. Alabama will face two and Louisville has none. (Alabama is favored by 20 points in every game except the Texas A&M match-up on Sept. 14. The Tide is already a 7-point pick in that game.)

AN ONION to Florida Atlantic coach Carl Pellini, who was so addled in the closing minute of Miami’s 31-6 victory over the Owls he called for his quarterback to spike the ball on fourth down rather than try to make a meaningful play. He is dutifully embarrassed over the first-game gaffe.

AN ORCHID to the legions of hysterical Tweeters who alerted the nation Alabama ace quarterback A.J. McCarron was seen wearing a walking boot on his foot Friday night. The Crimson Tide faithful were calling for smelling salts until an exasperated Nick Saban finally cried, “The is the most famous case of ingrown toenail in history. Of course he’ll play!”

AN ONION to an undisciplined Florida team that had six players suspended for Saturday’s opener against Toledo. Two were scheduled to start but cornerback Loucheiz Purifoy and backup wide receiver Latroy Pittman reportedly failed drug tests.The other suspended players are all backups: Defensive tackles Darious Cummings and Jay-nard Bostwick and offensive lineman Quinteze Williams. It had already been announced that starting linebacker Antonio Morrison is suspended for the first two games.

AN ORCHID to the growth of college football. Last year 49.7 million people attended games and today 51 of the 120 upper-echelon BCS universities are either upgrading their stadiums or building new ones. Eleven new stadiums will be ready for the 2014 season.

AN ONION to the torn meniscus suffered by Ole Miss linebacker Denzel Nkemdiche in the stirring 39-35 win over Vanderbilt Thursday night. Denzel’s brother, Robert, was the most highly recruited high school player in the nation and picked Ole Miss so he could play with Denzel. The injured player should be out for 5-6 weeks but another player, guard Aaron Morris, hurt his ACL and is out for the season.

royexum@aol.com


Rhonda Thurman's Lack Of Respect - And Response (7)

     I truly believe that Rhonda doesn't try to offend people with her remarks; it just comes natural to her. I for one will be glad to see her ship sail. She has been a terrible representative of District 1 schools since she was first elected. It shutter to imagine her as a County Commissioner.      We get it, Rhonda, we really do. It ... (click for more)

Send Your Opinions To Chattanoogan.com

We welcome your opinions at Chattanoogan.com. Email to news@chattanoogan.com . We require your real first and last name and contact information. There is no word limit, but if your article is too long you may lose your reader. Please focus more on issues than personal attacks. (click for more)

House Approves Expansion Of Chattanooga Veterans Affairs Clinic

The House of Representatives passed legislation Wednesday to authorize funding for a new lease and expanded Veterans Affairs clinic in Chattanooga. This veterans’ package has been approved by the House and Senate Conference Committee.  Rep. Chuck Fleischmann said, “I am proud to announce the legislation passed this afternoon will fund a new lease for a multi-specialty ... (click for more)

Cleveland City Council To Hold Special Meeting On Naming New City Judge

The Cleveland City Council will hold a special called meeting next Monday to consider an interim appointment of a city judge. It will be at 11:45 a.m. at the City Council’s regular meeting place in the Cleveland Municipal Building, 190 Church Street, NE. The council will also establish the process for application for city judge. Longtime City Judge Bill Moss died July ... (click for more)

Chattanooga Football Club National Championship Match Can Be Viewed Via EPB Fiber Optics

EPB Fiber Optics is offering the community exclusive live broadcast coverage of the Chattanooga Football Club in its final battle for the National Premier Soccer League National Championship. The game between the Chattanooga FC and the New York Red Bulls-Under 23 squad is scheduled for Saturday at 9:30 p.m. from the Red Bull Arena in Harrison, New Jersey. Fi TV Bronze, Silver ... (click for more)

Stars Shutout Lookouts Tuesday, 2-0

Huntsville, AL-Huntsville native Jed Bradley did it all Tuesday night for the Huntsville Stars.  He pitched six shutout innings and also provided the only offense in a 2-0 win over the Chattanooga Lookouts at Joe Davis Stadium in Huntsville. Recap Bradley, broke up the scoreless game in the fifth as he was locked up in a terrific pitcher's duel with Chattanooga lefty ... (click for more)