Roy Exum: The Free Florida-UT Ticket

Thursday, September 19, 2013 - by Roy Exum
Roy Exum
Roy Exum

Gary Yates felt sorry for his step-daughter when her date for this weekend’s Florida-Tennessee football game on Saturday told her he couldn’t go to the game. So the fun-loving Yates hatched an idea to make sure the pretty Jessica Flanagan would still have a good time.  He placed an ad on The Craigslist website in Gainesville on Monday and included three pictures of the pretty girl in the women-seeking-men area.

Here’s what Gary, a lifelong Vols fan now based in Denver, offered some lucky guy:

“One Free ticket for the Tennessee-Florida Football game this Saturday (cost to me, $150) on the 40 (yard line) for the right gentleman. You must be an attractive, professional, single, well-educated gentleman, with a good sense of humor, 25-33. You also must not be threatened by an attractive, professional, single well educated lady, (as she is). If you do not qualify, please pass this ad to a friend.

“The fine print: I lied! (Sorry...not totally free). Your cost will be a modest dinner, drinks and delightful conversation with her before or after the game.

“P.S. (Being a Tennessee Vols fan is not required but is highly desirable). Only those that respond with pictures and resume will be considered! Be creative! Thanks!”

As you might expect, the response to the ad has been tremendous, so much so that Gary made last night at midnight the deadline and promised to contact the winner by 10 a.m. this morning. “My mailbox is full,” Yates told Yahoo Sports yesterday. “I've had a couple of lighthearted responses, one of them was hilarious, but yeah, it's been mostly serious responses — I would guess, I don't know, 30 or 40 …”

Yates said he would talk to Jessica before making the selection and notifying the winner. He also hopes the Vols can overcome being a 14-point underdog. The game begins at 3:30 p.m. at Florida Field.

* * *

Prosecutors in Nashville have announced Vanderbilt’s starting quarterback Austyn Carta-Samuels was “misidentified” by a former teammate as one of three football players who helped carry an unconscious 21-year-old woman into a dormitory bedroom after a sexual attack this summer. Last Friday in court Deputy District Attorney General Tom Thurman read details of the attack that included a text implicating Carta-Samuels.

But on Tuesday prosecutors read a new statement, “At the recent plea agreement of former Vanderbilt football player Chris Boyd, text messages were read that Boyd had sent and received from other individuals. One text from Boyd to former student Corey Batey read in part, ‘Me Carta and Vanderwal and Vandenburg helped us move her out of the hallway,’ referring to the victim who was lying in the hall of the dorm,” said a statement.

“However, based upon the evidence collected to date, Boyd wrongly identified student Austyn Carta-Samuels as someone who participated in helping move the victim. Carta-Samuels and Dillon Vanderwal are both listed as witnesses in the rape case against four former Vanderbilt students. Vanderwal and another student were involved in moving the victim from the hall to a dorm room, but that act alone does not constitute a crime.”

Boyd, who pleaded guilty to misdemeanor charges on Friday and agreed to testify against four of his teammates, was given a suspended sentence of 11 months, 29 days on Friday but university officials said on Tuesday he will never play for Vanderbilt again. A prepared statement read that Boyd’s “admitted actions are clearly inconsistent with the high standards of behavior expected of our student-athletes.”

* * *

Police in North Charleston, S.C., have arrested a woman who attacked her former boyfriend with a kitchen knife after she could no longer stand listening to the rock band, “The Eagles.”  Vernett Bader, age 54, was charged with criminal domestic violence of a high and aggravated nature after officers found the victim with cuts on his hands and arms.

According to TV station WCIV, the police said the victim had been listening to The Eagles when Bader told him that she did not want to hear the classic rock band's songs. So the man told her to shut up, the report states. Officers noted in the report that everyone involved in the altercation was intoxicated at the time of the assault.

The report did not detail which Eagles songs were being played but investigators have narrowed the play-list to Take It Easy, Witchy Woman, Lyin’ Eyes, Already Gone, Desperado, One Of These Nights, Tequila Sunrise, Take It To The Limit, Peaceful Easy Feeling, Best Of My Love, Hotel California, Heartache Tonight, Seven Bridges Road, Victim Of Love, The Sad Café, Life In The Fast Lane, I Can’t Tell You Why, New Kid In Town, The Long Run, and – of course -- After The Thrill Is Gone.

royexum@aol.com


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