Life With Ferris: Motherhood And Worry Go Hand In Hand

  • Sunday, November 23, 2014
  • Ferris Robinson
Ferris Robinson
Ferris Robinson

Motherhood and worry go hand in hand. I know we’re all supposed to be emotionally
independent and set healthy boundaries with our children, but most mothers would say that’s easier said than done. 

The old saying, “You’re only as happy as your unhappiest child,” is true in most mother-child relationships that I know. 

As expectant mothers, we worry ourselves over the size of the growing baby. We fret over whether we conceived before or after those tequila shots, and whether or not the baby is moving enough. 

As new mothers, we lose sleep because, well, we’re losing sleep. Usually way too much.  

But if the baby is finally actually sleeping, after a certain about of uninterrupted hours, we are frantic that the little thing is in a coma. And damn if we don’t jiggle him* a little, and wake him up. 

Raising toddlers, we obsess over how soon our baby is walking, or how clearly he articulates 
his syllables. 

We are anxious if our children underperform in elementary school and in agony with the 
high school decisions. 

College, romance, athletics, driving, proms, all set our teeth on edge. Not enough socializing is cause for concern, but too much socializing is a serious issue. 

So, once we get him raised, and he turned out to be an average size and able to construct 
full sentences and converse somewhat with the opposite sex, you’d think we’d relax a little.  

We don’t.  

There’s a whole mountain of worries for the adult child. Does he like his job? Does he have a job? Why isn’t he married yet? Why doesn’t he have children? Did it have anything to do with those tequila shots 25 years ago? 

I think these worries just go with the territory of loving another person so, so much. 

But these worries are just little nagging indulgent thoughts in the scheme of things. 

My friend Cindy Whitaker has bigger worries. 

Her oldest son, Bailey, is raised – and very successfully raised at that. He’s through with college and on his own. She should be able to check him off her list. 

But she can’t. 

He’s been in Afghanistan since March. A graduate of the Naval Academy, this four-time state 
champion wrestler (she worried him through lots of tournaments) is a platoon leader in charge of close to 30 men. After his deployment, Cindy had finally gotten to the point where she could breathe like a normal person, believing her boy was safe enough in the most dangerous place in the world. But then another platoon leader stepped on a mine and had his legs blown off.  

I’m sure Cindy is wrought with fear. She lives with apprehension and outright terror every day. But you’d never know it. She somehow is able to laugh and enjoy her life. She is engaging and funny and joyful. 

And so the next time I fret about one of my boys, I’m going to imagine what it would be like to have something to worry about. 

*The author is only familiar with male babies.

(Ferris Robinson can be contacted at ferrisrobinson@gmail.com.  www.ferrisrobinson.com)

 

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