Roy Exum: A Walk In April’s Garden

Wednesday, April 2, 2014 - by Roy Exum
Roy Exum
Roy Exum

As I took my first sun-drenched walk through my April garden, it was hard to believe that just one week ago it hosted a gusty snow shower. There are jonquils now blooming by the score but there are some hardy weeds as well. So let’s take a look at what I’ve found …

A JONQUIL to Sheriff Daron Hall of Davidson County (Nashville) whose re-election campaign literature includes a “Get Out Of Jail” card like the one you find in a box of the game Monopoly. Everybody knows it is just for fun but the sheriff says that’s just about all anyone ever asked him for during his first three terms of office. The cards are a big hit.

A WEED to the fact an average ticket to watch the Boston Red Sox this season will cost a kid $52.32. Another to watch the Yankees in New York is going for $51.55 and the Major League average is now $27.93, which shows why there are so many empty seats at games. Most people can’t afford to go to major league parks any longer.

A JONQUIL to Atlanta Mayor Kasim Reed, whose inauguration promise in 2010 was to “make sure we’re not a city too big for love,” will soon be getting married. Mayor Reed, embattled this winter after a freakish ice storm left the city in gridlock, will marry his longtime girlfriend Sarah Elizabeth Langford and the happy couple is already expecting a baby, according to reports.

A WEED to the NAACP in Nashville after they claimed a portrait of new Vanderbilt football coach Derek Mason made him look “too racist.” Akailah Harris of the NAACP said the freehand painting was “reminiscent of the minstrelsy era in which black people’s skin was darkened and their lips were made whiter in order to exaggerate their race in order to put them in a sharp contrast with the white race.” The painter profusely apologized and, after revealing all he had to go by was a picture, will try again on the side of a building on West End Avenue.

A JONQUIL to a study conducted by the Washington Post and the Kaiser Family Foundation that learned 89 percent of the veterans who fought in Iraq and Afghanistan would sign up again. While 51 percent said they knew a former soldier who had tried to commit suicide, a full 90 percent were proud of their contribution to their country.

A WEED – what else – to District of Columbia Mayor Vincent Gray who on Monday signed a bill that decriminalizes possession of up to an ounce (28 grams) of marijuana in the U.S. capital. It makes possession of less than one ounce of weed a civil violation with a penalty of $25, which is less than a parking ticket. Before this week possession had been a misdemeanor carrying up to six months in jail and a $1,000 fine.

A JONQUIL to Kwasi Enen, a senior at William Floyd High School in Long Island who just got acceptance letters from all eight universities that make up the Ivy League. The admission rate to one of the private universities is just 8.9 percent so his feat is impressive. With both parents working as nurses, Enen will pursue a medical degree. Can you name all eight? They are Brown, Columbia, Cornell, Dartmouth, Harvard, Yale, Princeton and the University of Pennsylvania.

A WEED to Catholic Archbishop Wilton Gregory, who is now apologizing for “a lapse in judgment” that resulted in a lavish $2.2 million manse that he built in Buckhead for himself. He wrote, “I am disappointed that, while my advisors and I were able to justify this project fiscally, logistically and practically, I personally failed to project the cost in terms of my own integrity and pastoral credibility with the people of God of north and central Georgia.”

A JONQUIL for rebounding car sales. Figures for March were released yesterday and Chrysler, spurred by the new Jeep Grand Cherokee and truck sales, was up 13 percent. Toyota was up 4.9 percent and Ford was up 3 percent. GM, with over 6 million cars recalled, delayed announcing its figures while Volkswagen suffered a 28 percent drop. Oh, and the average cost of a vehicle last month was $31.995.

A WEED for the fact Chattanooga is sixth on this year’s list of “Allergy Capitals” that is sponsored by the Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America. Last spring Chattanooga was third so maybe things won’t be as bad as they could be. Louisville, Ky., was first with Memphis, Baton Rouge, Oklahoma City and Jackson, Miss., rounding out the top five. Behind Chattanooga are Dallas, Richmond, Birmingham and McAllen, Texas. Knoxville is 16th, Nashville 25th and Augusta – where next week’s flowers at the Masters will be stunning – is 31st.

A JONQUIL to California’s Jim Zetz, 62, who has stage 4 pancreatic cancer but staged a wedding last weekend for his 11-year-old daughter. No, she didn’t get married but, worried that his time on earth is dwindling, he wanted her to remember the day her dad walked her down the aisle. Jim gave Josey a promise ring and pastor Gary Galbraith got it right when he told the beaming girl, “Your dad may not get to see you get married, but he is here to walk you down the aisle today. The daddy and daughter relationship is one of the most special relationships in life.”

royexum@aol.com



Stop Calling Me, Times Free Press

"I, Jason, of phone number 423-544-1801 , do not want to subscribe to the Chattanooga Times Free Press.  I find your activism masquerading as journalism rather distasteful, and I simply do not wish to participate in purposeful ownership of your platform via subscription.  Yet, you call me.  And keep calling me.   You won't stop calling me." Newspapers ... (click for more)

Roy Exum: The Last Rhinoceros

I know precious little about rhinoceroses, other than you don’t dare mess with anything that weighs almost four tons and can run 35 miles an hour. Further, I hear hippopotamuses are mean and unpredictable, and are among the deadliest animals in Africa, but today we are focusing on white rhinoceroses because there is only one white male rhinoceros remaining in the world. Think ... (click for more)

New Attorneys Have Not Decided On Whether To Seek Mental Evaluation For Hixson Woman Facing Possible Death Penalty

New attorneys for a Hixson woman facing a possible death penalty in Catoosa County, Ga., said they have not decided whether to seek a mental evaluation for Catherine Joann Goins. Police said she lured a 30-year-old woman to a friend's house and killed her in order to steal her newborn. After District Attorney Herbert "Buzz" Franklin opted for the death penalty, two attorneys ... (click for more)

Mobile, Ala., Firm Alerted To Send Tug To Cart Off Eyesore Casey Barge

Bankruptcy Trustee Jerry Farinash said Thursday afternoon that a Mobile, Ala., firm has been told to start work on removing the Casey barge from the Tennessee River in downtown Chattanooga. He said Coast Guard officials inspected the barge earlier Thursday and "seemed pleased with the condition it is in." The attorney said the Coast Guard will make a re-inspection just before ... (click for more)

Manning Makes $3 Million Leadership Grant To UT

KNOXVILLE, Tenn.  – Five-time National Football League Most Valuable Player   Peyton Manning   and his wife, Ashley, announced Friday a $3 million leadership commitment to the University of Tennessee. This gift commitment will benefit both the Tennessee football program and the   Peyton Manning   Scholarship Endowment. This commitment ... (click for more)

Willingham's Two-Hitter Leads Bucs Past Silverdale, 5-0

Brandon Willingham was hesitant to say that Thursday's game with Silverdale was his best effort of the year, even though the hard-throwing right hander limited the Seahawks to just two hits in six innings as Boyd-Buchanan posted a 5-0 victory on a day when the Buccaneers played at home for only the second time this season. Maybe the 17-year-old junior wasn't his best, but he ... (click for more)