Cut Altee Tenpenny A Break

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Dear Coach Saban, 

I officially arose from the wrong side of the bed today when I learned from my cell phone that 19- year-old Altee Tenpenny's license plate light wasn't working so he got pulled over. Don't get confused, Coach, it wasn't a tail light or a blinker or a back up light or anything like that and everybody knows that not having a license plate light is a capital offense. Don't they? I mean, can a cop not see a guys license plate with his head lights?  

When the fine Razorback officer made him roll his window down he smelled fresh reefer smoke and noticed that Altee was shivering in his boots. That gave Johnny Law a reason to search the car from head to toe and he found a whopping 2 point whatever grams of pot. That is .07% of an ounce which is probably like 1.5 joints (that's what they called them in my day- they're blunts now). That is also an egregious, capital, violation of the law of the land.

Please, Coach. This is ridiculous. The boy is 19, like Justin Bieber, and look at what the pixie Beebsy boy gets away with. The reason Altee was nervous is because not only will he face a judge, he'll face you. You, Coach (the best one in football and thank God you didn't high tail it to Texas), ain't got much of a reputation for patience and you, thankfully, will suffer no fool gladly. But give the boy a break this time around and pray with me that the judge will smack the head of the arresting, pin-headed officer who can't dance. 

If you've seen those moonshine shows on TV you know that there are as many violent rednecks in Arkansas as there are in Alabama. Or Tennessee. Or anywhere. Surely there is more going on in north Arkansas than a busted license plate light and 2 grams of weed.  Really.

I hope the arresting officer is a black guy because this sorta stinks, man. 

Savage Glascock


Arnold Palmer Was A Great Role Model

Roy, thanks for an amazing tribute to Arnold Palmer. I grew up in Pennsylvania in the 60's and 70's and Arnie was one of my early heroes. I never had the pleasure to see him in a tournament. My Dad saw him once. Arnold is the epitome of a great role model when it comes to athletes. Tom Watson is another hero of mine as well. Arnie brought class and dignity to the game. He was ... (click for more)

Hillary Or Trump?

I do not accept simply asking myself which candidate would be best for me and my family when deciding which one I will vote for.  That is because I do not believe 100 percent of what either of them says.  Instead, I ask how each will go about setting policies, reaching goals and making decisions.  Hillary has made it clear that only she has the knowledge and experience ... (click for more)

City To Begin Shipping Much Of Its Garbage To Bradley County

City Public Works Administrator Justin Holland said the city plans to begin shipping much of its garbage to Bradley County. He said the deal is projected to extend the life of the city landfill at Birchwood by 15 years. Mr. Holland said Bradley County "has a huge landfill and takes garbage from Knoxville and other municipalities. It's regional." He said Bradley County charges ... (click for more)

Man Says He Did Nothing To Provoke Shooting At Bakewell Gas Station; Suspect Says Victim Was Coming Toward Him

A 33-year-old man who was shot in the face during a clash at a Bakewell gas station said he did nothing to provoke the shooting. The man charged said the victim cursed him, then started toward him. General Sessions Court Judge Clarence Shattuck, after a hearing on Tuesday, bound to the Grand Jury a charge of attempted first-degree murder against Donald Stuard II, 29, of Old Washington ... (click for more)

Smart Running: Vradenburgh, Boyd Cross Country Winners Again

There’s a lesson to be learned for those young folks who choose cross country as their sport in the fall:  It’s impossible to win a race in the first mile, but you can surely lose one in that same space. As anyone with much running experience can verify, the fastest person doesn’t always win.  Running smart and using a tactical approach with planned pacing often produces ... (click for more)

Craine, Ribeiro Named SoCon Players Of The Week

Two University of Tennessee at Chattanooga football student-athletes were named Southern Conference Players of the Week, following the Mocs' 41-21 win over Samford on Saturday.  Seniors Derrick Craine and Henrique Ribeiro both earned recognition from the league office announced today. Craine rushed for a career-high 222 yards on 23 carries with two touchdowns in the win. ... (click for more)