Pie Slinger’s – Eat Big

Tuesday, June 3, 2014 - by Willie Mae
Pie Slingers 'Kitchen Sink' Pie
Pie Slingers 'Kitchen Sink' Pie

It was good to have my partner in crime Lois with me once again. Things for ol’ Phil have been looking up and Lois believes she can get out with me on occasion.

Someone told me they wanted me to try Pie Slinger’s at 2535 Battlefield Parkway, but neither Lois nor I knew that area very well and we had to use the navigator system in my car to find it.

My son Jack wanted me to have a car with a navigating system to help me, but I don’t know how to work those things very well and, with it pouring down rain, I knew it would be a challenge. The voice-in-the-box told us our destination was on the right, but it was a schoolhouse. I thought maybe the voice box got it wrong by a smidgen so I drove a little further to find it.

Lois helped me to look, but we did not find it. I did see a Japanese place I told her we could try out if we didn’t find what we were looking for and I turned the car around and drove back down the Parkway. We still didn’t see it and, when my car beeped that I was out of gas, Lois panicked and told me I better get gas right away.

With the downpour, I planned to get just enough gas to get us there and back home. While at the pump, lightning struck right above me and, even though I was standing under a shelter, I felt I had enough gas.

We headed back down the Parkway to find the Japanese place but then we couldn’t find it! I turned around once again and I pulled into a shopping center to turn around. Just then Lois said, “Pie Slingers… what kind of name is that?!”

I shouted, “That’s where we are supposed to go! That’s the place I was trying to find!”

I was so glad we found it. I am sure it isn’t as hard to find on a beautiful day. When we walked in, a nice boy gave us a paper menu and we ordered a large pizza called “The Kitchen Sink”. I guess it had everything on it.

We helped ourselves at the drink counter and sat at a booth with a glass table top. My ol’ eyes played a trick on me as I tried to set my drink down. I thought I was about to place my cup on a small picture frame that someone had left on the table, but under the glass were small trinkets and memorabilia displayed like a shadow box.

When I giggled and told Lois I thought I was about to set my cup on the tiny frame she said, “Go ahead and set it there, it’s a coaster.”

The booth felt funny to me. If I sat back, my behind sank in the seat, my feet couldn’t reach the floor and I couldn’t reach the table. Lois looked a little squished behind the table and I realized that some big ol’ boy must have sat on my side and needed more room. We tried to scoot the table closer to me and finally it was just right.

While we waited for our pie I saw a sign on the wall that read, ‘Take the Behemoth Challenge’. It was a 28-inch, 10-pound pizza and two people had to eat it in 30 minutes and it would be free (or they got a gift card for a free pizza or something like that). I couldn’t see the whole sign from our seat, but I thought that was pretty clever. I knew that even though we were hungry after all that driving, we could not eat that big!

Our Kitchen Sink arrived and I helped myself to two pieces and Lois only got one. I knew my limit would be two pieces and I just went ahead and got what I wanted. The crust was probably my favorite part of the whole sink!

Lois is a slow eater and she took a while to eat her first piece. She really liked it and had NO complaints! I had already finished my two pieces and I was stuffed to the gills as I whispered ‘whee-ee-doggie’. Lois wanted a second piece, but didn’t want to look like a big eater so she tried to get me to get another piece just so she wouldn’t feel guilty for getting another piece. I said, “No ma’am, I have had my two – you get your second piece, I don’t mind waiting.”

So she helped herself to another piece. I waited for Lois to finish her pie and then we boxed up the rest to take to Phil. We were as full as a tick. We decided that the two pieces we had were rather large and were probably more than we were used to.  

When we got in the car and I turned the voice-box back on to get us two old ladies home on a dark and rainy night and it told us to turn on “Diets” Road. Lois snickered at the mispronunciation of “Dietz” (Deets) Road and asked, “Is she trying to tell us something?”

And it was just after that when she quipped, “Wanna stop and get dessert?” Welcome back, Lois.

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