Roy Exum: Have Spirits Infested Ronaldo?

Friday, June 6, 2014 - by Roy Exum
Roy Exum
Roy Exum
All of Portugal is on pins and needles. The FIFA World Cup begins in less than a week and the world’s biggest soccer star -- Cristiano Ronaldo – is still “questionable” for the Group G opener against Germany on June 16.  Ronaldo, a sensation who makes $44 million a year and has a net worth estimated to be in excess of $200 million, has been temporarily crippled by a mystifying leg injury and all his money isn’t helping a bit.

No sir, this is serious. And, it has been learned, the painful ailment may be most ominous! If reports now circulating are true, there is some bad “juju” involved that centers on a fetish priest who just happens to be a big Ghana soccer fan.

Ronaldo’s team, Real Madrid, is currently in the United States where they will play Mexico tonight and then Ireland next Tuesday in two games called “friendlies” before the actual World Cup competition begins at various locations around the globe on Thursday. Thus far, only one real bad actor is talking about the hip/knee injury and a witch doctor is absolutely the last guy on earth anybody wants mentioning Ronaldo’ worries.

What you need to know is that the other two teams in the G Group are the United States and Ghana. Forget the U.S. team for a minute. The Americans have nothing to do with this. It’s all about Ghana and the fetish priest who was featured in a lengthy New York Times article a few years back.

Nana Kwaku Bonsam, who is considered the top witch doctor in Ghana, has his headquarters, as it were, at the Kofioo Kofi shrine in Kumasi, and Dr. Bonsam, whose name translates as "The Devil of Wednesday," has claimed over Ghana radio that he arranged for some spirits to infest Ronaldo’s now aching leg back in February.

Nana Kwaku claimed he put the evil hex on the Real Madrid star to help his native Ghana. "I know what Cristiano Ronaldo's injury is about, I'm working on him. I am very serious about it," he said during a local Kumasi-based radio broadcast.

"Last week, I went around looking for four dogs and I got them to be used in manufacturing a special spirit called Kahwiri Kapam,” the witch doctor explained. "I said it four months ago that I will work on Cristiano Ronaldo seriously and rule him out of the World Cup or at least prevent him from playing against Ghana and the best thing I can do is to keep him out through injury.”

Multiple news reports did not identify the breed of the dogs used, or whether the animals were big and tall, short or small, and it is only a rumor that sometimes the complex Kahwiri Kapam curse requires a Rottweiler and a Chihuahua (hairless.) At other times a Rhodesian Ridgeback might be involved. It is known the distance between the two countries is 2,354 miles so Dr. Bonsam may have used a Whippet (for speed) or a dachshund (for stealth.)

No matter. It’s all about the hex. “This injury can never be cured by any medic,” the witch doctor stated, “They can never see what is causing the injury because it is spiritual. Today, it is his knee, tomorrow it is his thigh, next day it is something else," this man who is called “The Devil of Wednesday” announced to the world. And surely the world shuddered.

In tonight’s “friendly,” Portugal will take on Mexico at Gillette Stadium in Foxboro, Mass., then will meet Ireland at MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, N.J. on June 10. Real Madrid’s first World Cup game will be against Germany on June 16th in Salvador. The United States team will open against Ghana in Natal, Brazil at 6 p.m. (EDT).

The World Cup, which takes place once every four years, has 32 teams vying for $537 million in prize money this year with the finals to be played in Rio De Janeiro. Each team gets $1.5 million in preparation costs and then the prize money breakdown is this: $8 million – To each team eliminated at the group stage (16 teams); $9 million – To each team eliminated in the round of 18 (8 teams); $14 million – To each team eliminated in the quarter finals (4 teams); $20 million – fourth-place team; $22 million – third place team; $25 million – runner up; and $35 million – winner (amounts are in U.S. dollars).

royexum@aol.com


David Carroll: Cracking The Middle School Code

I was recently asked to speak to Ooltewah Elementary fifth graders, as they marked the end of their elementary years.  Now it’s off to the next step.  I believe middle school is the time in which kids either head in the right direction, or the wrong one.  Rather than make them endure a speech by a guy who last wandered the halls in the prehistoric era, I enlisted ... (click for more)

Approve The Humane Educational Society's Increased Budget - And Response

I am a Chattanooga resident and animal lover in Hamilton County. The requested increase for the Humane Educational Society’s budget should be approved.   If we cannot take care of those who have no voice, who will? HES team members and volunteers are very dedicated to making Hamilton County a better place to live, for everyone.   Commissioners, please help them by ... (click for more)

Board Of Regents Board Meets Wednesday To Approve New Chattanooga State President

The Tennessee Board of Regents will convene a special called meeting at  9:30 a.m. CDT next Wednesday to receive recommendations for presidential vacancies at community colleges, including Chattanooga State, and the director position at the Tennessee College of Applied Technology – Covington/Ripley.  The finalists to replace longtime leader Jim Catanzaro are: ... (click for more)

New CARTA Service To Enterprise South Industrial Park Has "Medium" Success So Far

CARTA officials said its new bus service from downtown to the Enterprise South Industrial Park is meeting with "medium" success thus far. Lisa Maragnano, executive director, said there have been 313 riders on the routes that began at the first of the month. That includes 241 getting aboard downtown in the early morning and 72 riding from Enterprise South in the afternoon. ... (click for more)

Signal Mountain Girls Win Second Straight A-AA Track Title

MURFREESBORO – The Signal Mountain Eagles won last year’s Class A-AA state track title by a scant six points, but it wasn’t nearly that close this year. With Camryn Bowman and McKenzie Ethridge both winning two events, the Eagles had a one-point lead following the field events, but ending up scoring 96 points and winning by 24 over runner-up East Nashville. While Signal Mountain ... (click for more)

Baylor To Face GPS Again For D-II State Softball Title

MURFREESBORO – It will be another Baylor-GPS battle for the championship in Division II softball as Baylor advanced with a 10-3 win over St. Benedict while GPS later beat the Lady Eagles by a 2-0 final for the right to face the Lady Red Raiders again. This year’s D-II tournament was similar to last year as Baylor beat GPS on the first day before the Bruisers came back and beat ... (click for more)