Roy Exum: Have Spirits Infested Ronaldo?

Friday, June 6, 2014 - by Roy Exum
Roy Exum
Roy Exum
All of Portugal is on pins and needles. The FIFA World Cup begins in less than a week and the world’s biggest soccer star -- Cristiano Ronaldo – is still “questionable” for the Group G opener against Germany on June 16.  Ronaldo, a sensation who makes $44 million a year and has a net worth estimated to be in excess of $200 million, has been temporarily crippled by a mystifying leg injury and all his money isn’t helping a bit.

No sir, this is serious. And, it has been learned, the painful ailment may be most ominous! If reports now circulating are true, there is some bad “juju” involved that centers on a fetish priest who just happens to be a big Ghana soccer fan.

Ronaldo’s team, Real Madrid, is currently in the United States where they will play Mexico tonight and then Ireland next Tuesday in two games called “friendlies” before the actual World Cup competition begins at various locations around the globe on Thursday. Thus far, only one real bad actor is talking about the hip/knee injury and a witch doctor is absolutely the last guy on earth anybody wants mentioning Ronaldo’ worries.

What you need to know is that the other two teams in the G Group are the United States and Ghana. Forget the U.S. team for a minute. The Americans have nothing to do with this. It’s all about Ghana and the fetish priest who was featured in a lengthy New York Times article a few years back.

Nana Kwaku Bonsam, who is considered the top witch doctor in Ghana, has his headquarters, as it were, at the Kofioo Kofi shrine in Kumasi, and Dr. Bonsam, whose name translates as "The Devil of Wednesday," has claimed over Ghana radio that he arranged for some spirits to infest Ronaldo’s now aching leg back in February.

Nana Kwaku claimed he put the evil hex on the Real Madrid star to help his native Ghana. "I know what Cristiano Ronaldo's injury is about, I'm working on him. I am very serious about it," he said during a local Kumasi-based radio broadcast.

"Last week, I went around looking for four dogs and I got them to be used in manufacturing a special spirit called Kahwiri Kapam,” the witch doctor explained. "I said it four months ago that I will work on Cristiano Ronaldo seriously and rule him out of the World Cup or at least prevent him from playing against Ghana and the best thing I can do is to keep him out through injury.”

Multiple news reports did not identify the breed of the dogs used, or whether the animals were big and tall, short or small, and it is only a rumor that sometimes the complex Kahwiri Kapam curse requires a Rottweiler and a Chihuahua (hairless.) At other times a Rhodesian Ridgeback might be involved. It is known the distance between the two countries is 2,354 miles so Dr. Bonsam may have used a Whippet (for speed) or a dachshund (for stealth.)

No matter. It’s all about the hex. “This injury can never be cured by any medic,” the witch doctor stated, “They can never see what is causing the injury because it is spiritual. Today, it is his knee, tomorrow it is his thigh, next day it is something else," this man who is called “The Devil of Wednesday” announced to the world. And surely the world shuddered.

In tonight’s “friendly,” Portugal will take on Mexico at Gillette Stadium in Foxboro, Mass., then will meet Ireland at MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, N.J. on June 10. Real Madrid’s first World Cup game will be against Germany on June 16th in Salvador. The United States team will open against Ghana in Natal, Brazil at 6 p.m. (EDT).

The World Cup, which takes place once every four years, has 32 teams vying for $537 million in prize money this year with the finals to be played in Rio De Janeiro. Each team gets $1.5 million in preparation costs and then the prize money breakdown is this: $8 million – To each team eliminated at the group stage (16 teams); $9 million – To each team eliminated in the round of 18 (8 teams); $14 million – To each team eliminated in the quarter finals (4 teams); $20 million – fourth-place team; $22 million – third place team; $25 million – runner up; and $35 million – winner (amounts are in U.S. dollars).

royexum@aol.com


Send Your Opinions To Chattanoogan.com

We welcome your opinions at Chattanoogan.com. Email to news@chattanoogan.com . We require your real first and last name and contact information. There is no word limit, but if your article is too long you may lose your reader. Please focus more on issues than personal attacks. (click for more)

Roy Exum: The Magic Bank Account

As the month of January is almost out the door, I am opening my email today to share a marvelous story that legend has it was printed on piece of paper found in Bear Bryant’s wallet when he died in 1983. While I don’t know that the famed Alabama football coach had this lesson in his wallet, chances are he might have if he’d read it. * * * THE BANK ACCOUNT & RULES Imagine ... (click for more)

Chance Loftis Set To Be Freed From Jail After Jury Finds Him Guilty Of Only Misdemeanor Charge

Chance Loftis is set to be freed from jail on Monday after a Criminal Court jury on Friday afternoon found him guilty of only a minor charge. Instead of murder in the death of 46-year-old Donald Rogers, the jury in the courtroom of Judge Don Poole found him guilty of the lesser charge of reckless endangerment. He was found not guilty of aggravated animal cruelty in the beating ... (click for more)

1 Dies In House Fire In Rhea County

Rhea County Fire Department officials said one person died in an early-morning house fire on Saturday. The call came at about 6:30 a.m. The brick residence is on Fisher Road. S tate arson investigators were on their way. (click for more)

Baylor, Father Ryan Advance to D-II Wrestling Finals

FRANKLIN - Two old rivals meet for the TSSAA D-II state duals title Saturday night as defending state champion Baylor (24-1) take on Father Ryan (22-3) at 8 p.m. EST here at the Williamson County Ag & Expo Center. All three division championships will be held at the same time - D-II, D-I A-AA and D-I AAA. Baylor’s lone dual loss is to Archer (Ga.) and Ryan’s losses ... (click for more)

Cleveland Slips By Walker Valley In Battle Of Top District Teams

The Cleveland Blue Raiders defeated Walker Valley 49-41 Friday night at Cleveland Middle School in a battle between two Bradley County high schools to stay in a tight race at the top of the District 5-AAA standings.   The Blue Raiders jumped out to a quick 7-0 lead over the Mustangs and stayed slightly ahead for the rest of the game. Cleveland fended off a strong ... (click for more)