Cheeburger Cheeburger – Don’t Sweat It

Saturday, July 26, 2014 - by Willie Mae

My son Jack and I met downtown for lunch and he asked if I had ever written a story on Cheeburger Cheeburger. I hadn’t been there, so I was willing to make it a part of my little hobby, but I wasn’t in the mood for a burger.

When we walked in, the floor had a slight greasy film and we had to be careful when we walked. A nice boy led us to a table, but they didn’t have booths. The boy asked if we had ever been there before and explained how it worked and what they had. There was a pretty good selection – it was like a diner.

A cute little waitress named Alexis waited on us. I ordered a chocolate malt  for $4.99 and Jack got a Diet Coke. Alexis brought Jack’s drink, but my malt was still being made so she brought me water while I waited. I thought that was thoughtful.

I saw on the appetizer list that they had fried artichoke hearts for $5.99. For a lady that hardly ate fried food before I started this hobby, I was finding more and more things people will fry that poke my curiosity.

I told her I wanted to try those and then I ordered the grilled chicken melt with fries to share with Jack for $7.59. He wanted to attempt ‘The Pounder’ which was a 20-ounce burger for $10.99. Oh lawd. Alexis asked him if he thought he could handle it and he didn’t even think about it before saying, “Sure.”

Well, I sure thought about it. When I order a steak that is 4-6 ounces I barely can eat it all! Twenty ounces of burger? I didn’t want to see my boy try it. I was left with the memory of him as a little tyke when he wanted to eat his weight in raw broccoli. Knowing it was healthy I let him have all he wanted and, sure enough, he lost every bit of that broccoli all over my new carpet! I reminded Jack of that and he laughed at me and told me his tummy was bigger now and he would be fine.

Sock Hop music was playing and there were a lot of tourists in this place. At the table next to us were a boy with a mohawk and a teenage girl with blue hair. I supposed they weren’t from around here, but you never know these days.

Alexis brought my malt in a tall metal cup and the fried artichoke hearts in a basket. They looked like little alligator paws. Now, I think frying vegetables sort of defeats their purpose, but I love artichokes and thought since it turned out that I liked fried pickles after trying them, that I might like these too.

The malt was so thick I couldn’t drink it right away, so I let it melt a little. I was busy writing down my notes and Jack had already put away a few of the gator paws. I thought I better try one before they were gone. That boy can eat, but he doesn’t get fat. Sometimes I think he has a tapeworm. I was still worried about that enormous amount of meat though. I liked the artichoke hearts, but they weren’t something I would probably order again.

Alexis set my chicken sandwich down in front of me and it looked so delicious. It even had an olive on top. I like that garnish much better than when places give you a flimsy pickle on the side.

Then The Pounder landed on the table and you should have seen Jack’s eyes. They were almost as big as his burger! I don’t think he really thought this through, but it was too late now - the man’s pride was at stake.

I thought my chicken sandwich looked big and I knew I wouldn’t be able to finish it. Usually, Jack will finish something I may not eat, but I doubted he was going to get through that swamp of meat in front of him.

My sandwich was on rye bread and it was very tasty. I had only had one bite while I was jotting my notes when an alarm went off. The boy that greeted us ran toward the back and I was afraid we would have to exit the building before we finished our lunch, but whatever it was didn’t seem to be a problem.

I couldn’t believe my eyes, but when Jack was half-way through that monstrous burger he wiped his arm and said, “I’m getting the meat sweats.”

I couldn’t eat all of my sandwich, but as I watched Jack put away his burger, I moved the rest of my sandwich over for the waitress to take away just in case my boy found more room in his bottomless pit.

She looked surprisingly at Jack and said, “Alright! You finished it!”  I asked him if he wins a prize and he said, “Yeah, a free stomach-ache!”

The food was very good and this was a fun place. I can see the attraction for families while they are out and about. Alexis wanted to get Jack’s picture and she brought out a hat for him to wear that was shaped like a burger.

I didn’t say a word, I just minded my own business, but I don't think I'd want that hat on my head if everyone else wears it - especially If they have the meat sweats.


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