I have edited obituaries, among other things for The Chattanoogan.com for over 10 years, and it’s a part of my job that I really love.
Of course, there are sad days, when a child’s obituary comes across my desk, or a life cut too short by crime, accident or sickness, or I get one of a dear friend. But I consider it a privilege to be a part of the funeral business, and to help families in memorializing their loved ones.
I also enjoy reading the stories of such a wide spectrum of people.
There are some amazing histories, and chronicles of lives well-lived.
I do not write obituaries, I edit them. That means they come from the funeral homes, and most times, the family members have written them. That is what makes each one unique. Some are long and flowing. Others are short and straight to the point. I always wonder about the family dynamics behind each one. Some include several generations of survivors, and others, just immediate family. I get the saddest when there are no survivors listed at all.
But then, there are humorous ones. I mean no disrespect to any of the families in saying that, as often, I think the humor reflects the family’s wishes, in honoring their loved ones.
I recently posted the obituary for a Chattanooga man who was a well-known Santa. I was told he was the Santa at Northgate for over 40 years. I edited the obituary, and then accidentally typed “Santa” under his picture. Thankfully, I realized my mistake and corrected it before I posted. But something tells me, his family might not have minded the mistake, and that’s where the humor comes in.
I have compiled a list over the years of humorous obituary lines, just from the Chattanooga area. Some are funny because of grammar or missing punctuation, and others are fun, just because they’re wonderful lines. All names have been changed out of respect to families. Here are some of them:
• Joe’s sunset came to an end Friday.
• He was preceded in death by his amorous wife.
• She visited the animals often and held a special affinity for the Red Panda Nygallah whose name became her e-mail password.
• She was born three months premature weighing only 2 1/2 lbs. She was placed in a coffee pot and put in the oven to keep her warm.
• John had his church membership transferred to the Church Triumphant.
• Sam was called up on Sunday, to play drums for God’s praise and worship team.
• An intermittent service will follow.
• Steven outran us to the Father’s house.
• God plucked one of his greatest creations from his garden of life.
• Sara departed this life at her home just in time for her heavenly Sunday morning church services.
• Honorary pallbearers will be all of her Facebook friends.
• Ella departed from her earthly cocoon as she entered heaven with a new body.
• She spent her spare time collecting dolls and watching horror movies.
• Pallbearers are from the Alhambra Shrine Clown unit.
• John, beloved husband, father, grandfather and friend, walked into heaven surrounded by his family.
• There will be a memorial service held at TVA Raccoon Mountain at the helicopter pad.
• Jane was preceded in death by parents, Isaiah and Phoebe Brown. Burial will be by her parents in the Spring City Cemetery.
• Scott Smith passed away unexpectedly with his loving friends by his side. His passing was very peaceful surrounded by all those who loved and will miss him so much.
• Visitation at her truck parked in the Kimball Walmart parking lot until Friday morning.
• Abigail Johnson died peaceably in her home.
• Kimberly was very passionate for Jesus Christ, playing bingo, and Elvis.