Roy Exum: He’s Exempt From Drunk

  • Wednesday, January 28, 2015
  • Roy Exum
Roy Exum
Roy Exum

I love the old story about a popular Senator who, during the Cuban Missile Crisis, was asked late one evening, “Sir, what if we get bombed?” to which came the quick reply, “I’d be absolutely delighted … I can get one of my aides to drive us home afterwards.”

You think of stuff like that when word comes from Kentucky that state legislator Brandon Smith was caught driving erratically on the opening night of this year’s session and blew a 0.088 on a portable breath tester.

When the lawmaker was hauled to the Frankfort jail, he refused to repeat the test on the official breathalyzer. Nonetheless, he was arrested for driving under the influence.

This is where it gets good. In a land where the greatest craftsmen make barrels of bourbon each day, Rep. Smith realizes that anything over 0.08 is deemed legally drunk in the Commonwealth and, if you refuse to take the official breathalyzer, there is an automatic 30-day suspension of one’s driver’s license.

Rep. Smith’s lawyer – Bill Johnson of Frankfort – noted the legislature had met on January 6 before the Republican from the tiny town of Hazard was arrested that same night. So the lawyer yells – lookahere – it says plan as day in the Kentucky Constitution that Rep. Smith must be set free.

It sure does. Section 43, which was ratified in The Year Of Our Lord 1891, reads as plain as day: “The members of the General Assembly shall, in all cases except treason, felony, breach or surety of the peace, be privileged from arrest during their attendance on the sessions of their respective Houses, and in going to and returning from the same; and for any speech or debate in either House they shall not be questioned in any other place.”

Rep. Robert Stivers, the President of Kentucky’s State Senate, was not amused. Stivers, a lawyer, has decreed “No member of the General Assembly is above the law. While Kentucky’s Constitution does provide a limited for of immunity, as does the United States Constitution and most state constitutions, it is clear that the immunity does not apply to this situation.”

Still, you gotta’ admit – it was a clever try.

* * *

I’m still not over the horror that broke out in the Lowe’s at Corinth, Miss., when – Saturday a week ago – a customer opened a cabinet on display and – ka-WHAM – a five-foot snake shot out and buried its fangs in the customer’s skull.

Thankfully, the snake was non-poisonous but police don’t know how the customer was able to dislodge the serpent. According to sources it was a black rat snake, a pilot snake or a corn snake – which some claim are all the same – but if it had been me -- it would have been a dead snake.

* * *

A poor writer in Birmingham wrote a story some days ago that Alabama shouldn’t celebrate Robert E. Lee’s life on the same day it celebrated Martin Luther King’s life and – ka-WHAM -- the poor girl was hit with a barrage of comments that likely set a state record.

Actually, General Lee was born Jan. 19, 1807. King was born Jan. 15, 1929. However, when it came time for the federal government to designate a day to honor King, the third Monday of January was selected. Alabama has long celebrated the Confederate general so a collision was inevitable and happened on Monday of last week.

Leada Gore, who writes great articles on AL.com, picked out her top six comments and here they are – exactly as they were written … and spelled:

 -- "(Expletive) you and the horse your ignorant (expletive deleted) road in on. We'll be proudly celebrating all of our heritage here in this great state long after you have breathed your last breathe."

-- "Robert E. Lee was a great man. MLK has screwed up the south so much that kids in school now days are not taught anything about the civil war in our country ... ask even high school kids who won and u get some wild answers...History in our country is important..States rights !..u probably dont even know what the main issue of the civil war was about..!"

-- "How dare you to mention a man like Robert E Lee and MLK in the same article....In the old days a person like you would ran of town on a rail !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

-- "Lee could of been kin to me. King was defiantly not, and blood is thicker than water."

-- "You might heed some advise to conqueror your bigotry and backward narrow mindedness..."Any society which suppresses the heritage of its conquered minorities, prevents their history or denies them their symbols, has sown the seeds of their own destruction." Sir William Wallace, 1281

-- "WE have been Celebrating it for a whole lot longer than MLK's Birthday!! If you don't want to Celebrate REL's Birthday Then don't!! But try and Move something that we hold near and dear to our hearts!! That dog don't hunt!!”

* * *

“Upon the subject of education ... I can only say that I view it as the most important subject which we as a people may be engaged in.” – Abraham Lincoln

royexum@aol.com

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