Roy Exum: My Great Thanksgiving

  • Monday, November 30, 2015
  • Roy Exum
Roy Exum
Roy Exum

In order for you to best understand this, last Thursday was the first Thanksgiving I have ever spent alone.  Don’t misunderstand, I had a fistful of kind invitations but I am the only remaining member of my immediate family around here and I guess I started dwelling on that a little too much as the holiday neared.

Making out my “thankful” list helped, and I ate enough with Bob McKamey and Lynn’s family on Monday night to last a week, but my daughter Mary Cady and her husband Brian pressed me hard on Wednesday to join them.

As I drove to Nashville Thursday morning I was a little morose but after my life’s ride I can now fake ‘happy’ in a flawless way.

My granddaughter Harper immediately lifted my spirits and her parents were thrilled we were going to join a hearty crowd at “Pappa Ronnies.” Soon the fact I was on a walk back into my childhood began to unfold. “Poppa Ronnie” is about six feet, eight inches tall, easily attesting why years ago Ron Knox was a standout basketball player on Roy Skinner’s teams at Vanderbilt.

Today he is an insurance tycoon in Nashville and he and his ever-bubbling wife Kaye have what may be the most glorious Thanksgiving event in America. All of the Knox kids bring their families, just like my grandfather’s children did two generations ago. One of the Knox boys died unexpectedly several years ago but his family is as big a part of the deal as though he was there. Yet as an abject stranger I could best witness the effervescence, the gleeful attitude the oldest to the youngest brought through the door.

“Poppa Ronnie” is a huge guy but his unbridled enthusiasm, grabbing each kid and making them read their name on the list a big Santa Claus has at the door, and making each think they were his favorite, was just the beginning. Every family brought enough food to have fed everybody and “Poppa Ronnie” had already pre-assigned every guest for the games that were to come.

In much the same way Vandy coach Skinner once built his teams into a frenzy before a game, “Poppa Ronnie” had every kid about to jump out of their skin when a dazzling feast was served. Trust me, the two things you need to know is that everybody in the family is over six feet tall and, boy, can they cook!

I sat with the kids, who were watching Detroit sack Philadelphia, and had a great time visiting with everybody, especially Dawson, the dandy football player at Brentwood Academy who is now a redshirt tight end at Ole Miss. Dawson’s dad played basketball for my buddy Rick Byrd at Belmont and all of his kids are gifted athletes.

But that’s not the best part. He and his wife adopted a black baby who had just been born down in Florida a few years back. The mother knew she couldn’t care for the child because she already had a two-year-old.  Not long after they returned home with the child, the adoption agency called. Things had gone awry in Miami and would they be interested in taking the baby’s two-year-old brother as well. With no hesitation the reply was, “We’ll be on the next plane…do the paperwork”

Don’t you see, these are the people who welcomed me as though I were a member of the family, too? Trust me, it worked.

A cute side note: Not long after Nate had joined his baby brother, one of their new sisters – who was in junior high at the time – called for a serious family meeting where she poured out her heart. “I think it is really important that we never tell them they are adopted … I want them to believe they are 100 percent like all of us are.”

Her brother looked at her like she was crazy and replied, “That’s a great idea until they look in a mirror!” What’s better? The family still laughs about it. Talk about cute boys; they are an integral part of this family and it is hardly a stretch to see how they most likely saved two tiny lives with their huge hearts.

Right after the meal the touch football game started in the front yard. Every boy and girl plays – evenly divided by “Poppa Ronnie” beforehand. It was exactly like my cousins and I played over 50 years ago. The laughter, the great plays, even little Nate scored. After about 45 minutes – with the score tied, mind you – it was finally time for dessert. And, get this, because everybody had played off “the bulge,” there was room for ice cream too.

But the best was yet to come -- the legendary egg toss! “Poppa Ronnie” even lighted the field, so there would be more chances for everyone to play. “Listen up!” he shouted as he passed out two cartons of eggs. “The two people who win will each get a week at the (family) condo (in Destin) with whoever they want to take.” Are you kidding me – talk about pressure!

The toss was hysterical because now the grownups joined the kids, with the best athletes carefully paired with five-year-olds or the grandmothers. Nobody had an edge and if you don’t make this a family tradition like the Knoxes have done then you’ll have one less reason to be thankful and it is a big one.

Personally, I was most thankful for the fact that what I expected to be one of my worst Thanksgivings almost magically became one of the best I can remember. In the first 50 years of my life, I can’t recall a Thanksgiving without at least 30 people, some times over 50. Last Thursday it all came rushing back. What a glow!

And as I dove back home that night I found myself wishing everybody else was a lucky as I am, for such a day that renewed the happiness of every Thanksgiving I have ever spent. Heed the lessons and never forget that if you’ll just buy two dozen eggs, you too can turn a tradition into a joyous celebration. Wow!

royexum@aol.com

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