Jen Jeffrey, the jolly rancher
After moving to Kentucky and starting my dream business with horses, I thought I would stop writing (and would never have the time) but hopefully readers who enjoyed my stories in New York and continued when I came back to Chattanooga, will also enjoy my ranch stories here in Kentucky.
It is with gleeful giggles that the show Green Acres comes to mind when I see my husband and me out at the ranch learning new things.
We had been around farms growing up, but never worked a farm or were educated in how they are operated.
Jason got his feet wet with farmers when he began insuring them and would visit their farms.
I got mine wet when I interviewed farmers in the series “Growing Local” and we both had family who we visited on their farms as kids. All of that must have prompted our inner desire to be landowners running a farm. Though we aren’t horticulturist or growing vegetation, our ranch puts us in the ‘farmer’ category and running it is new to us.
Living out in the country where there are no sirens blaring or horns honking, we enjoy the peaceful sounds of frogs croaking, birds chirping, brooks trickling, cows lowing and horses whinnying.
Don’t be too envious with that serene picture just yet – there is also a ‘behind the scenes’ that I am learning all about.
The ranch is just up the road from our farm and we are just getting started with it as we bought it this month. The previous owner is a dressage and eventing trainer and she boarded horses at the stables. She moved her business over with her husband’s farm and let us keep a few of her boarders while she still comes out to the ranch to train once a week.
It was a big help to begin my dream already having stables built and boarders already there so the business end hasn’t been very hard at all. I enjoy bookkeeping and managing but my real job would be a little more ‘manual labor’.
It was also a big help when a few pieces of old farm equipment were included to help us out from having to make major purchases as we keep up the ranch duties. Of course, it wasn’t brand new equipment and there were a few things that needed ‘rigging’ in order to work, but hey – we appreciated it!
As glamorous as owning boarding stables sounds – the behind the scenes activities come into play and in my case – has proven to be quite humorous.
Now, I have been a horse lover all my life and been around other people’s horses – I actually like the smell of a horse, however, I had never had to really clean up after one … or two… or six.
I soon learned what muck boots were and what a muck bucket was – and even a manure spreader. Boarding four horses and having two of our own means cleaning six stalls twice a day. Luckily, I have ranch hands. Three girls who attend Murray State University and are in their equine program rent the house on the ranch and they had been working for the owner before we bought it. It gives them the experience they want, a place to be around horses and it helps me tremendously.
These girls have or have had horses of their own and they are a big help to me when I have “new mommy” questions about my horses. Jason and I look at Taylor, Brittany and Moira as family and we are blessed to have them.
While waiting to close on the property, I had been going out to learn things – but I really hadn’t gotten my hands into things like I wanted. Once we closed, I was ready to really get started!
Our closing date had been postponed because of the TWO snow storms that we had back to back. The first one happened just before Chattanooga got their big snow and Jason and I were snowed in our house ---with sewage backup. Maybe this was the start of the Lord preparing me for having to deal with a lot of manure.
Trust me - human poo, dog poo, cat poo and cow poo is much different than horse poo. If anyone can handle all the other crap (pun intended) then horse poo is easy to be around. To me, horses come straight from heaven and they bring a little of heaven with them. If someone tells me that I smell like a horse - I take it as a compliment.
Being out in the open with horses or even in their stall with a ‘nugget’ or two is not that bad at all – but shoveling the stuff and carrying the muck bucket to the manure spreader is where all poo is poo.
It took the first snow a week and a half to fully melt. We were stranded for days and when we got out it was still frigid cold. That made it very hard to work with the horse. Carrying fresh water buckets, making sure the water troughs weren’t frozen, and opening metal gates after being out for a while… it was a lot different from staying indoors at a computer. I depend heavily on my ranch hands.
Jason and I had recently bought a colt and filly and we picked them up while snow was still on the ground. The paddocks at the ranch were still covered in ice so the horses were put up in the stalls (this makes the job of cleaning the stalls much messier).
In normal conditions the stalls are cleaned twice a day and muck buckets are emptied into the manure spreader and then it is taken off with the four wheeler and gradually unloaded on a neighbor’s land who appreciates the fertilizer.
With all of the horses stalled 24/7 because of the snow, the manure started piling up! I bought a half dozen more muck buckets and as the spreader filled up and all the muck buckets were full – we had to just make a manure pile to the side of the barn.
I told the girls I would shovel it myself and load the manure spreader after we were able to take off the first load. Even with having a four wheeler, the manure spreader was frozen and could not be operated. When the snow finally melted and we had a warm day – the rain came. It helped to melt the snow, but then we dealt with our roof leaking at home and then water seeping into the stalls. The phrase “when it rains it pours” kept resonating in my head.
We were blasted with our second snow storm which was 14 inches of snow, but the blizzardy wind made snow drifts in places up to three feet. This was not a normal Kentucky winter.
After having two weeks with snow and being trapped in our house the last time, we were so stir crazy that this time we got out and walked the mile and a half to the ranch to see our new babies and to make sure the girls were okay taking care of the ranch.
Walking in that much snow was a workout! We let our babies out in the snow for a bit, but then had to put them back in their stalls.
After three weeks of snowy conditions in mid-February and early March, the stables were a mess and the horses were restless. There was nothing anyone could do – we just had to let wait it out and do our best. Even though we took over the ranch on March 1st, we weren’t able to close until the 10th – our first snow free day.
On the eleventh, I was a proud ranch owner heading out to take care of the manure problem. I had it in my mind to empty the manure spreader and fill it up again with the 10 full muck buckets and a large pile by the stables, but our minds are a lot stronger than our bodies. It takes a long time to shovel all that manure.
And, if I were a man who tinkered with machines then maybe buying a used four wheeler and using an old manure spreader would not have been a problem either.
Now, I am not Zha Zha Gabor and I am not afraid of hard work, but I had never seen how a working manure spreader worked, so having to ‘rig’ an old one to work was very stressful. I have no idea how I did it, but I was able to use a bungee cord on the blades in the back to keep them from spinning as I headed up the road on a four wheeler that I had no idea how to shift.
There was still a little snow on the ground mixed with muddy areas all around the fish hatchery where I unload the spreader. With about two four wheeler’s width to drive in between the two ponds, the four wheeler started sliding! I knew I could probably keep it from heading into a pond if I drove carefully, but I was afraid if I slowed down at all, I would get stuck in the mud so I kept up my speed while skidding and having close calls, but I made it back to the ranch with an empty spreader.
I felt like the bionic woman!
After shoveling the part of the manure pile into the wheel barrow and then shoveling it again from the wheel barrow into the spreader, I had shoveled six wheel barrows full of manure and there was still so much more to do. While I was pitching poo, I heard my ponies hoof beats in the far paddock. We had let the horses out, but the electric fence was not working, so the little ones hopped through the fencing and into the arena where a couple of the mares were.
Two of the girls working, helped me gather them and I had to keep them in their stall until the electrician would come out to fix the fence the next day.
After all the excitement I went back to the manure and was ready to take off a second load, but the four wheeler was dead. I filled it up with gas (and a little scared I may have filled it in the wrong pace when it still wouldn’t start). I was also afraid I may have burned up the engine since I didn’t understand the gear thing. Whatever it was – I was stuck with a spreader full of manure out in the open and we were expecting more rain.
To be continued...