Roy Exum: ‘Thank You, Miss Kathy’

  • Monday, March 16, 2015
  • Roy Exum
Nurse Kathy stands with Gary Bentley, who was 10 years old, right after his heart surgery in Birmingham in 1973. A foster child, Bentley claims she was the first person who was ever nice to him. The two were reunited on Sunday for the first time in 42 years.
Nurse Kathy stands with Gary Bentley, who was 10 years old, right after his heart surgery in Birmingham in 1973. A foster child, Bentley claims she was the first person who was ever nice to him. The two were reunited on Sunday for the first time in 42 years.

The picture is haunting, almost as much as the fact the old Kodak print has survived three foster homes and a house fire. The boy in the photo has a huge rope of a scar down his middle – he had just undergone open heart surgery – but you need to focus instead on the kid’s eyes. They are empty and gaunt – visible testaments to the fact he figures his life just about ain’t worth living.

Now look at the nurse. That’s the way a nurse looked at the UAB Medical Center in 1973.

Focus on her face, radiant and kind, just the type of nurse we would want around if we were real sick. “For some reason she was really sweet to me, and I looked forward to her coming in every day. I’ve always wondered what happened to her, and wondered why she was so nice to me,” Gary Bentley told the Birmingham News the other day. “I guess she just saw that I needed a friend.”

The kid in the photo grew up to be a colorful character. At the time the picture was taken, Gary carried a magnet in his pocket. “A magnet,” explained his wife Gwen, “could tell him if a piece of metal was copper, aluminum or steel. He and his six siblings knew the current value of each for scrap prices.”

Today he is “The Alabama Turtle Farmer.” That’s right … he is very successful raising and selling turtles near Muscle Shoals. He’s also a motivational speaker, an entrepreneur, one heckuva comedian and – to hear him tell it – a millionaire. But there was a time, back in 1973, when a young nurse in Birmingham was the very first person in Gary Bentley’s first decade of life who had ever been nice to him.

The state had already taken him away from his alcoholic and abusive father and scattered his brothers and sisters like the wind. It was then discovered the no-luck kid had a hole in the left ventricle of his heart. “They couldn’t believe that I had survived that long,” he told Al.com reporters, who must have wondered how he survived at all back then.

It has been 42 years since the picture was taken but Gary has never forgotten the kindness that young nurse gave to him. And when he was going through some of his life’s meager beginnings not long ago, he and his wife of 34 years came up with the idea of posting the picture on both their Facebook pages to see if they could locate the nurse. “I thought her name was Kathy.

“I was still small at the time and I had a lot coming at me. She would bring me little treats and stuff. When they moved me off her floor – man – I cried,” Bentley explained, telling the Birmingham reporters he tried to go see her “but I wasn’t allowed.”

This week he said, “Now I can't remember what the gifts she gave me were. What I remember clearly are the smiles and kind words she brought me every day. She shared her heart and time with that little boy, knowing he had nothing to give in return.”

Between Facebook and The Birmingham News, Gary received an e-mail Thursday night. “I know the nurse in the picture and she’s my mom! You are right, her name is Kathy. I just read her the (newspaper) article and she is so touched that she was remembered so fondly by you!” wrote Kathy’s daughter Heather. Another daughter, Katie, wrote, “She still tends to cardiology patients, although the outfit has changed a little.”

"My mom discovered the article late last night and it brought tears to her eyes," Katie wrote. "She said, 'I didn't know about Gary's situation, I just saw a little boy going through a surgery that would be tough for anyone.' But, that is just the kind of nurse/person she is - always going beyond the call of duty to make someone else's day better!

"My brother, sister and I also work in healthcare and we strive to live up to the high bar set by our role model/mother. I can remember her saying, 'a patient is already probably having one of their worst days, no one likes being sick, so it’s important to treat beyond medicine - with kindness,'" her daughter wrote.

Gary replied, "Your mother was very sweet to me many years ago. It was a tough time in my life for many reasons. I have never forgotten her kindness and just wanted to let her know how much it meant to me. After they moved me back to another floor I cried wanting to go back to see her. Back in those days there was no (Facebook), no texting.

“She has always held a special place in my heart. I have never forgotten her kindness and I never will. I know it was many years ago, but I have thought about her many times over the years and wondered how she was doing," he wrote.

"I would love to see and talk to her if she has time," the grateful kid wrote 42 years later. "Please tell her I don't want anything, I don't need anything. I just wanted to thank her for being such a sweet person," and then he was man enough to add, “To be honest, I have tears in my eyes typing this and thinking about her kindness."

The two – a nurse and her patient – were scheduled to meet yesterday afternoon. We can only imagine what the reunion was like.

When Gary Bentley gives motivational talks, he freely shares true-isms, like, “Hard work and a constant smile can take you miles,” and “The best advice I can give anyone is this: ‘Be the type of person people like to help.’ Do that and you can achieve anything.”

Now he can add another line. “Never forget that kindness lasts forever.”

royexum@aol.com

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