Roy Exum: Doctors And Nurses Cry Too

  • Wednesday, March 25, 2015
  • Roy Exum
Roy Exum
Roy Exum

Last week, as an ambulance pulled away from the emergency room of a west coast hospital, a quick-thinking EMT snapped a picture of an anguished doctor who – minutes before – was unable to save the life of a 19-year-old patient.

Another EMT, later identified as Nick Moore, said he posted the picture on Reddit website because “I think people should know that the care providers are just as human as the patients and this (photo) shows it stronger than anything I have seen in long while.

Within a few minutes, the doctor stepped back inside, holding his head high.”

The picture went viral immediately. Over the weekend, editors at the Birmingham (Ala.) News and others newspapers published the picture and sought comments about “the hardest job you will ever love.”

In the hope you will never take an emergency-care provider for granted, here is a sampling of what I feel were some of the classiest responses:

AUTHRIATHLETE -- "Being assigned to a medical unit (in Iraq) I have memories that haunt me of the ones holding my hand because they were dying and there's nothing I could do. A positive story though. I had a guy go down on the Apache helo flight line with an apparent heart attack. I did CPR until the flight arrived to take him for higher medical care. I did not know what happened to him until I got hurt. I was sent back stateside and told my injuries resulted in permanent nerve damage in my legs and I would be put out of the Army. I got back to base a few months later, and when I walked in to report, that guy was the NCOIC checking us in. He took one look and me and lost it. Big hug, lots of tears from both of us. The other soldiers wanted to know why he was crying because he's usually a tough guy showing no emotion at all. He told them, this is the one who saved me when I had a heart attack on the flight line. We have stayed in touch and he helps me compete in para-triathlon."

KATHY CARLIN -- "I'm a nurse on an oncology floor. Even when you are expecting a patient to pass, it still breaks my heart. Trying to be there for the patient's last moments and the family, while you are still taking care of your other patients is very difficult. The patient in the room right next door to your dying patient must have no clue what is going on due to privacy issues. You just have to put yourself in a different box every time you enter a room during your 12 hour shift. It is truly the hardest job you will ever love."

CHRISTINA SULLINS -- "As professionals we don't have the luxury to show emotions during the fight for a patient’s life. It’s not that we are immune, it’s our job. Families don't want someone falling to pieces in the throes of life and death. We pull it together and do everything we can to save a life. Later behind closed doors, we fall to pieces. We carry that life with us forever. The faces, the names, and the loss stays with our mind and hearts."

BEVERLY POELLNITZ -- "I am sitting here now remembering an elderly man with dementia who thought I was his daughter. I will never forget sitting with him with no family around and holding his hand as he died."

ALLY McLAUGHLIN -- "Early in the 90's my mother got her nursing degree. It was almost Christmas when she saw a wreck while driving on the interstate. She stopped and tried to save a man that passed away in her arms. I remember her crying for days. It still comes back to her when she sees a wreck. Sometimes nurses/doctors do everything they possibly can and it just isn't enough. I wouldn't wish that pain on my worst enemy."

MELISSA LEWIS -- "I am a nurse at a long term care facility. I have watched many, many people pass. I had this one patient that I was very close to (loved) and she became weaker and weaker. I knew at the end of my shift that she would probably pass before I came back on the next day. As I slept that night I dreamed of them coming into my room and standing over my bed. She touched me and told me ‘thank you for loving me’ and that she loved me. I woke up and called my job and asked did she pass. They were like, no. I went into work the next morning and went onto her room. She grabbed my hand, kissed it, and passed away about three minutes later, I had a complete melt down. I cried on and off for a few days. I love, respect and take great pride in my job."

HEATHER YEARGAN -- "I will never forget one patient in particular. As an RN I have treated many shooting victims, but this one was different. I was a new nurse and he was even younger than me. He fought so hard for so long, and we all fought just as hard for him. Towards the end he was one of those patients who was so unstable you couldn't move him. During his few conscious moments, he would look at me with the most scared eyes. All I could do was hold his hand and talk to him. I left one day, and when I came back the next morning he was gone. This sweet young man and his kind family will always hold a special place in my heart."

AMY HO, M.D. – “I remember the scream of a mother when she was called in to identify the body. In every sense of the word, it was a sound that made your toes curl, that embodied raw, untamed, unbridled pain; the exact frequency of the cry of a dying animal in the wild. It made my soul cringe when I heard it, and it probably had the same effect on everyone else in the department. It did not take long for two large burly security men to rush in and carry the mother out, her body collapsed and defeated, but her mouth still screaming. After particularly tough shifts, I sometimes have a ringing in my ears of her screaming “my baby, my baby” as she wept over her child’s body.”

ELLE WHISPY – “As a nurse, I like that so many people have reacted so compassionately to this. Not sure about other health care professionals but in the UK here there's a lot of bad media and lies about hospital staff, but this picture to me paints the reality and truth of how the entire health care workforce feels. Doctors, nurses, (physical therapists) OT's, everyone working with patients has strong compassion and care for patients and their relatives. I know I've left work heartbroken after an unexpected cardiac arrest or sudden death amongst other things. If I ever think back to those situations even years later I still get a lump in my throat. You try not to get emotionally attached but as a human with a soul you can't help it.”

SMEEEE, M.D. -- When it comes to our work, nothing is harder—and I mean nothing—than telling a loved one that their family member is dead. Give me a bloody airway to intubate. Give me the heroin addict who needed IV access yesterday, but no one can get an IV started. Give me the child with anaphylaxis. But don’t give me the unexpected death … We can only do so much, and we can only hope to do our best. But it’s that moment, when you stop resuscitation, and you look around, you look down at your shoes to make sure there’s no blood on them before talking with family, you put your coat back on and you take a deep breath, because you know that you have to tell a family that literally the worst thing imaginable has happened. And it’s in that moment that I feel. And I feel like the guy in this picture.”

(UNKNOWN) M.D. -- The part most people fail to realize, is that this man now has to compose himself, walk into another person’s room, and introduce himself with a smile and handshake to the next person. Sometimes healthcare workers walk in to see someone new and before even introducing themselves, out comes; ‘We’ve been sitting here for 45 minutes and . . .’ or ‘That guy next door has been moaning forever and nobody is helping him.’ You literally had to direct yourself 100% at someone grappling with death, and the rest of the show goes on around you. There are times where you run, and rush, and hurry, and skip eating, and go 12 hours without urinating, and you’d give your firstborn for a cup of water, and through it all, you lose, you get complained to, and you get zero sympathy from your coworkers or management. I’ve been covered in phlegm, urine, feces, blood, infectious drainage, sweat, and tears. I’ve had to go from ensuring a person continues to breathe, to a room full of angry people because grandma wanted a Tylenol and the call light has been on for 10 minutes, and we’re going to another hospital, and we want another doctor, and this place is getting a call to the administration, and I’m going to call a lawyer, and I’m calling Channel 6 news.”

(NAME UNKNOWN) M.D. – “Every physician has their own individual graveyard that they walk in every night.”

* * *

Thank God for them, each and every one.

royexum@aol.com

A California doctor takes a private moment to grieve after his 19-year-old patient died last week. This picture, taken by an EMT, has gone viral over the internet.
A California doctor takes a private moment to grieve after his 19-year-old patient died last week. This picture, taken by an EMT, has gone viral over the internet.
Opinion
Democratic View On Top State Senate Issues - March 18, 2024
  • 3/18/2024

Campbell bill seeks to save lives by studying suicide trends in Tennessee 3 p.m. Senate Regular Calendar — SB 1787 , by Sen. Heidi Campbell, would require state health officials to produce ... more

The Odor Of Mendacity - And Response (2)
  • 3/16/2024

The Fulton County judge, Scott McAfee, overseeing the Fani Willis prosecution of Donald Trump and eighteen other defendants has spoken. In response to a motion by defendants to remove Willis ... more

Capitol Report From State Rep. Greg Vital For March 15
  • 3/15/2024

General Assembly confirms new Tennessee State Supreme Justice Members of the General Assembly confirmed the appointment of Mary L. Wagner to the Tennessee Supreme Court in a joint session ... more