Roy Exum: Celebrate Autism’s Victories

  • Saturday, April 18, 2015
  • Roy Exum
Roy Exum
Roy Exum

As I was getting my salad during lunch at the sixth annual Chattanooga Autism Conference on Friday, a simple question from a friendly kid on the other side of the buffet gave me the answer I was seeking. “Do you have Asperger’s (syndrome),” he asked in a friendly way.

I told him no, but that a growing number of folks I admire did, and that’s why I joined a turn-away crowd of over 500 people at the Chattanooga Convention Center who were looking for answers, too. Officials at the Chattanooga Autism Center expected 450 for the God-blessed event but because of limited classroom space, a number of people were turned away, just as has happened each of the five years past.

That is how serious the disabilities that fall under the spectrum of autism are in our community but thanks to the efforts of Dave Buck, Hal Baker and an army of eager volunteers, the patients, the parents and the families represented were urged, “Don’t worry about what he or she can’t do, celebrate the many things they can do.”

With the theme of “Walking In Our Shoes,” a wide range of experts conducted a full day of workshops, included some that were presented in Spanish for the very first time this spring. “This is the most rewarding day we’ve ever had,” said volunteer president Baker, who used to make Orange Grove whirl before he retired. “Never has the need been as great but never has the reward meant as much. And I’ll make sure nobody is turned away next year if they’ll only register on time.”

Two of the most dynamic sisters in America, Boston’s Patty Terrasi and Gina Gallagher, combined a delight mixture of humor, hope and happiness in a glorious keynote speech where one played off the next sentence of the other. Nationally-acclaimed as “PhDs in Imperfection,” the two flawlessly entertained an entranced crowd after telling the audience that Patty has a daughter who is bipolar (manic depression) while Gina has a daughter with Asperger’s syndrome.

“Listen, we speak all across the country and I can safely say that 99 percent of those we talk to would rather have a colonoscopy than attend an (Individual Education Plan) with a principal and teachers. With a colonoscopy, you’re asleep!” she said to the delight of her listeners. “I know a lady who was told – so help me this is the truth – ‘Your daughter’s test show she has a seven-out-of-10 chance of crossing the street safely!”

Patty quickly interjected, “One parent was called by the principal and told her son had written on the restroom wall in indelible ink. The mother was indignant, ‘How dare you accuse my son of such a thing. Why do you think he did it?’ The dry reply came, ‘Because it included your name and telephone number …. ‘”

While the huge crowd was delighted, there were pensive moments. “I went through a horrible mourning period when I learned my daughter wasn’t perfect but I never, ever gave up. When I would get despondent, Katie would remind me, ‘I can do anything I want if I try hard enough’ and when I realized we should judge children by society’s rules, but judge them for the wonderful people that are, you don’t worry about what the future will hold when we aren’t there.”

Both Patty and Gina’s daughter can successful drive a car. Both are college graduates – this after each child was told point-blank it was impossible – and Patty’s daughter will run in her second Boston Marathon this coming Monday. You don’t think every mom and dad in the audience wanted to cry over that!

“Do not let others dictate your life. They used to say those with bipolar disorder were crazy. They used to say those with autism were stupid. What we say is that we are different. That’s okay. There is the women’s movement and America accepts it. There is the gay movement and America accepts it. We want to spread the message the imperfect movement is okay and one day America will accept us for who we are,” said Gina.

“Of all the many things I have learned,” countered Patty, “is that our family is so blessed to have a bipolar child. Laugh if you want but my other two children are the biggest beneficiaries. If you would have told me that ten or 15 years ago I would have never believed it but today I do with all my heart.”

Those interested in further information (or in need of affirming encouragement) can contact Gina Gallagher and Patty Terrasi at their website, delightful called “shutupabout.com” They have written a funny but heartfelt book that is a ‘must read’ for families with an autistic member entitled, “Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid,” that is available on the website.

* * *

Weston Porter and Dorza Guayurpa were honored as Volunteers of the Year. Weston was doing menial jobs at the Center’s office on McCallie afternoon “like carrying out the trash” until one day somebody asked him what he did for a living. “I’m a CPA,” he said and today the Autism Center has the best financials in the city.

Dorza has become a giant in the Hispanic community after inquiring about ways to help her son. She has been instrumental in helping Spanish-speaking families and at this year’s conference there were overflowing workshops for Hispanics.

Anyone wishing to volunteer at the Chattanooga Autism Center should contact Dave Buck, Executive Director, at (423) 531-6961.

royexum@aol.com

 

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