Roy Exum
Ronnie Joice was in a bar in north London when he spied a poem tacked to the wall. The more he studied it, the more it revealed and, suddenly, he was floored. I don’t need to tell you it has gone viral, cheering people up particularly in England, but it is fun to know it was written by an 11th-grader at an all-girls school in New York.
Chanie Gorkin first posted it on her page on the website, PoetryNation.com, and her mom, knowing how clever it is, put it on Facebook.
How it traveled to a bar in London is anybody’s guess. Here’s the poem, “The Worst Day Ever” by Chanie Gordon. As you read it, try to figure out what is so unique about it:
* * *
Today was the absolute worst day ever
And don't try to convince me that
There's something good in every day
Because, when you take a closer look,
This world is a pretty evil place.
Even if
Some goodness does shine through once in a while
Satisfaction and happiness don't last.
And it's not true that
It's all in the mind and heart
Because
True happiness can be attained
Only if one's surroundings are good
It's not true that good exists
I'm sure you can agree that
The reality
Creates
My attitude
It's all beyond my control
And you'll never in a million years hear me say
Today was a very good day
If you didn’t already catch it, now try reading the poem from the bottom to the top. Is that clever or what?
* * *
After I wrote a column entitled “Death Is A Doorway” last week, an Internet reader sent me a marvelous story that I want to share:
A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to Leave the examination room and said, “Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side. “
Very quietly, the doctor said, “I don't know...”
“You don't know? Doctor, you're a Christian man, and don't know what's on the other side? “
The doctor was holding the handle of the door -- on the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, And as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.
Turning to the patient, the doctor said, “Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before.
He didn't know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death…
“But I do know one thing ... I know my Master is there and that is enough.”
* * *
When you get real old you’ll find that real old people send you funny stuff that real old people think is funny. Here’s a keeper:
Please remember these pearls of wisdom. I'll forget:
-- Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice!!!
-- I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights". I'm just very wise.
-- I don't need anger management. I need people to stop (expletive) me off.
-- My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance for idiots that needs work.
-- Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound.
-- I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do that second week.
-- The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes".
-- Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?
-- I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks.
-- The biggest lie I tell myself is ..."I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
-- If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.
-- Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!
-- Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.
-- Old age is coming at a really bad time.
-- Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the friends to post my bail when I finally snap.
-- Why do I have to press 'one' for English when you're just gonna’ transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
-- At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
Royexum@aol.com