Roy Exum
If you are searching for something good that came out of this weekend’s blizzard that dumped two feet of snow on Washington, D.C., look no further than Capitol Hill itself. Hundreds showed up to go sledding and, no wonder, such fun has been banned since 1876!
Actually, the Capitol police have turned a blind eye for decades but, after 9/11, it has been strictly enforced like many other senseless safe-guards against terrorism. There was a provision in the $1.1 trillion (with a ‘t’) spending bill that passed in December to allow sledding on Capitol Hill so here came the crowds to play in the snow.
What are we made of that causes us to stifle a child’s squeals of joy and a mother’s laughter for 140 years?
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Remember the old Abbott & Costello routine where the two have delighted generations of baseball fans with “Who’s On Second?” After President Obama’s “State of the Union speech last week, some genius used the Abbott & Costello format to come up with this delight:
COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America.
ABBOTT: Good subject. Terrible times. It’s 5.6%.
COSTELLO: That many people are out of work?
ABBOTT: No, that’s 23%.
COSTELLO: You just said 5.6%.
ABBOTT: 5.6% Unemployed.
COSTELLO: Right 5.6% out of work.
ABBOTT: No, that’s 23%.
COSTELLO: Okay, so it’s 23% unemployed.
ABBOTT: No, that’s 5.6%.
COSTELLO: Wait a minute! Is it 5.6% or 23%?
ABBOTT: 5.6% are unemployed. 23% are out of work.
COSTELLO: If you are out of work, you are unemployed.
ABBOTT: No, Obama said you can’t count the “Out of Work” as the unemployed. You have to look for work to be unemployed.
COSTELLO: But they are out of work!!
ABBOTT: No, you miss his point.
COSTELLO: What point?
ABBOTT: Someone who doesn’t look for work can’t be counted with those who look for work. It wouldn’t be fair.
COSTELLO: To whom?
ABBOTT: The unemployed.
COSTELLO: But ALL of them are out of work!
ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work. Those who are out of work gave up looking and if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.
COSTELLO: So if you’re off the unemployment roles that would count as less unemployment?
ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely!
COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don’t look for work?
ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That’s how it gets to 5.6%. Otherwise it would be 23%.
COSTELLO: Wait, I gotta’ question for you. That means there are two ways to bring down the unemployment number?
ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.
COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?
ABBOTT: Correct.
COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job?
ABBOTT: Bingo.
COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of the two is to have people stop looking for work.
ABBOTT: Now you’re thinking like a Democrat.
COSTELLO: I don’t even know what the hell I just said!
ABBOTT: Now you’re thinking like Hillary.
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The latest Internet sensation is a Facebook post by Jack Speed, an oil engineer from south Mississippi that reads, “A father takes his son into the forest, blindfolds him and leaves him alone. He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through it. He cannot cry out for help to anyone. Once he survives the night, he is a Man.
“He cannot tell the other boys of this experience, because each lad must come into manhood on his own. The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him. Maybe even some human might do him harm. The wind blew the grass and earth, and shook his stump, but he sat stoically, never removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could become a man!
“Finally, after a horrific night the sun appeared and he removed his blindfold. It was then that he discovered his father sitting on the stump next to him. He had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm. We, too, are never alone.
“Even when we don't know it, God is watching over us, sitting on the stump beside us. When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out to Him. If you liked this story, pass it on. If not, you took off your blindfold before dawn. Moral of the story: Just because you can't see God, Doesn't mean He is not there. "For we walk by faith, not by sight.”
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Gisela Mota, a 33-year-old Mexican who served her first day in office as the mayor of her hometown in Temixco in the Mexican state of Morelos on Jan. 1, got home to have dinner with her family before three cartel gunman arrived and shot her fatally. As of date nearly 100 mayors have been killed and Mexican authorities are now saying that between 2007 and 2014 over 164,000 have been killed as the gangs fight each other for territories. And we worry about Syrian refugees? I would love it if U.S. forces would spread some “neighborly love,” where our special ops teams would eradicate the cartels and our troops would stop the massive amounts of drugs that come into the United States via the Texas border. I believe that is more important than Afghanistan.
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The Nashville Tennessean reported in its Sunday editions that inappropriate text messages abound at the State Legislature. It appears some jerk named Jeremy Durham, who is the House Majority Whip, needs to be whipped and sent home in ruin.
Gerald McCormick, the Speaker of the House, needs to send Durham home in shame and ban him from the legislature for life. When three different women step forward, somebody needs to step in and stop any boorish behavior. My sakes alive!
royexum@aol.com