Chattanooga’s Live Music Scene – A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Concert

  • Thursday, February 16, 2017
  • Bob Payne
Bob Payne
Bob Payne

This was just too funny not to write about. It’s all in fun, of course.


After living in every decade since the Edsel, I finally decided to have myself a professional pedicure. I had always done my nails myself, just whipping out whatever garden tools I could find to cut them with. Everyone told me that I would love a pedicure and that it makes your feet feel so nice. Knowing that I am sometimes a bit frugal, Emily suggested I go to the cosmetology school and save some money.


Upon my arrival at the school, I noticed the place looked very clean and nice. That’s a good thing. They ushered me over to my technician, who introduced herself and showed me this funny chair with a reservoir of bubbling water built on to the bottom section. I had socks older than my nail tech, but she was nice and seemed to have a great sense of humor.


She told me to go ahead and put my feet in the bucket, so I lifted my foot above the reservoir to put them in and she yelled that I had to remove my shoes first. That makes sense. I kicked off my shoes and started to put my feet in and she laughed again and told me to remove my socks. I figured I would get ahead of her on the next step and loosened my belt buckle to take off my pants, but she said for me to just roll up my pants legs.


The water was warm and felt great. I can only assume that they change out the reservoir from time to time. I explained to the nice nail tech that I had been a star in a play, Planet of the Apes, and that the director had me grow my nails out really long to make them look more realistic. I am not sure she bought that story, but I felt it was a plausible explanation as to why I looked like a gorilla.


After getting some beefier tools, she was able to trim all my nails like a real pro. She had a great personality and was fun. At some point, I asked my nail tech, if the school had taught her to speak Vietnamese, but she said not yet. I am sure they save that for the last week of school. (Now, at this point I am sure you are saying that it is a bit stereotypical of me to say that, but at my ripe old age, I can honestly say I have never been in a nail salon where the employees didn’t speak Vietnamese. Ever. This young lady looked like she was a Soddy native, or Red Bank, or maybe even from Ringgold, like me.)


Anyway, the experience was great and my feet did feel nice when she was done. She even used a cheese grater thingy on my soles and lowered my height by a ¼ inch. I no longer poke holes in my sock toes, either. I never even cried like one does when one gets a shot at the doctor.


To qualify this as a music column, I might add that later that evening, we went out and saw a couple bands play. My feet felt great.


Bob Payne is the Entertainment Editor for the Chattanoogan.com and talent buyer for Friends of the Festival/Riverbend. You can follow me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/davrik2000 or email me at davrik@aol.com.  


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