Roy Exum
I can never remember a first day in March like this one – the daffodils are in full splendor, the crocus are wide awake, even the tulips are making a move. I know a guy who has already cut his grass! The signs of the earliest spring are everywhere. Golf course fairways are greening up. Suddenly the mounting prayers are that Mother Nature isn’t setting us up for a fearsome late freeze but I’ll take it. We are enjoying the prettiest late winter ever and I just adore the spring in my step. Here’s a look at this month’s orchids and onions ...
AN ORCHID to the grin on former mayor John Kinsey’s face! It was being whispered John was sick, that he may have suffered a stroke, but we shared a laugh a week or so ago and it is obvious he’s doing really well. He looks better than ever and you ought to hear him talk about Erlanger’s magnificent stroke center. We ought to name a downtown street in honor of the dazzling neurologist Tom Devlin and all he’s done for us.
AN ONION to the news that Rachel Dolezal, the white woman who famously tried to deceive everybody by claiming to be black a couple of years back, is allegedly now on food stamps and nearly homeless. Before she was exposed, she had everything going for her … put away the Kleenex and end the pity party! Accept your mistake and get your chin back up. Give the world another chance to show us why you should be famous for giving instead of taking away from your life. Rachel needs to make her every day eager for her tomorrow,
AN ORCHID to Easy Bistro chef Erik Niel, who is a finalist for the coveted James Beard Award in the food-savvy southeastern United States. I can attest to this guy’s genius – one Sunday night last year I was with friends and I distinctly remember the meal was one of the best I have ever enjoyed in Chattanooga. Seriously, I still remember how perfect it was.
AN ONION to the abysmal turnout for early voting in the city election. Yes, most of those who vote mourn that “None of the above” is not on the ballot, which is a horrible reflection on our entire community. Yet I feel it is the duty, as well as the right, of everyone in a democracy to try to be part of our government. Make sure you vote next Tuesday (March 7.) Never fail to make your vote count.
AN ORCHID to the preview pictures of the all-new 2018 Lexus ES-350. It is easiest one of the prettiest automobiles I have ever seen.
AN ONION to the Hamilton County Election Commission, which could save money and assure a greater turnout if they would simply align the city election with the county and state elections. A separate election makes city officials look at one another funny. Stop stupid.
AN ORCHID to the headline writer who placed these two stories side by side: “How The Oscars And Hollywood Have Gone To The Very Far Left” … and … “Monday’s Oscars Were The Least-Watched In 9 Years.”
AN ONION to Cirque le Soir in London, said to be one of the trendiest night clubs in the world, for turning away Ooltewah’s Vonn Bell and three of his New Orleans Saints teammates -- running back Mark Ingram, cornerbacks Sterling Moore and B.W. Webb. The reason: “Too urban.” The real reason: “Too big, too black, and too urban.” The players laughed about it and the word is that when the Saints play the Dolphins Oct. 1 in London’s Wembley Stadium, Cirque le Soir will try to make amends.
AN ORCHID – To anyone you see that appears to have a smudge of charcoal on their forehead tomorrow. It means they have celebrated Ash Wednesday, “a day of fasting that is also the official beginning of the Lenten Season for many western Christians, including Anglicans, Lutherans, Methodists, Presbyterians and Roman Catholics.” And then there is this from a Catholic priest: “Don’t misunderstand – “Ash Wednesday and the Lenten Season are not a way for Christians to work for their own salvation, but instead a way to express or act out the evidence of their salvation.” (Ash Wednesday is always 46 days before Easter (April 16 this year.)
AN ONION to the news Olga Korbut, who captured the world’s heart as the "Sparrow from Minsk" at the 1972 Munich Olympics and won the goals at Montreal four years later, just sold some of her medals and other memorabilia at an auction house for $333,504. Olga, a naturalized American citizen who lives in Scottsdale, Ariz., is 61 and planning to be married.
AN ORCHID for the profound way somebody “almost” as wonderful always steps up when we lose legends like Bob McFarland of Bethel Bible Village and Tim Spires of our manufacturing association but, mark these words, Howard basketball coach Henry Bowles was one of a kind. I would be hard-pressed to name another who shaped more lives than my dear friend. And, no, I will never, ever, forget the night when a young white sports writer sat beside him in The Howard School gym that now bears his name. An all-black basketball game was covered big on our front page the next day and the Hustlin’ Tigers have been part of it ever since.
AN ONION to the new American Cancer Society study that reveals people born in 1990 and later have double the risk of colon cancer, and four times the risk of rectal cancer, than people in their parents' generation did at the same age. In recent years colonoscopies have been wisely advised for those of us over the age of 50 but by these standards anyone younger who has digestive or bowel concerns should check with a doctor. “Only a chump ignores his rump.”
AN ORCHID to Douglasville, Ga. Judge Beau McClain who, after hearing graphic testimony how two white supremacists terrorized an 8-year-old birthday party with Confederate flags, racial slurs and armed threats in 2015, sentenced Joe Torres to 13 years in prison and seven years' probation, and Kayla Norton to six years in prison with nine years' probation. On top of that, both are banished from Douglas County for life.
AN ONION to the absolute absurd “coverage” the national media is giving to the fact Kellyanne Conway curled her legs as she sat on a sofa in Donald Trump’s office on Monday. I really believe every female who I have loved and has been part of my life has done that at one time or another. I’ve never given it a second thought in my 67 years of watching and, at a cocktail party last week, a delightful lady sitting next to me on a sofa had done the same before I joined her to share a funny story. What’s the big deal? I can’t get my arms around this one at all.
AN ORCHID to this Tweet: “I don't agree with everything my friends or family say or do, but I still play golf with them. Last week, I was invited to play golf with the President of the United States. Whether you respect the person who holds that position or not, you respect the office that he holds. This wasn't an endorsement nor a political statement of any kind. It was, quite simply, a round of golf. Golf was our common ground, nothing else. I've traveled all over the world and have been fortunate enough to befriend people from many different countries, beliefs, and cultures. To be called a fascist and a bigot by some people because I spent time in someone's company is just ridiculous. I hope, to some degree, this clarifies my decision to accept the invitation that was extended to me.” – Rory McElroy (One of the greatest pro golfers in the world.)
royexum@aol.com