Roy Exum: 100 Graduation Truths

  • Sunday, May 21, 2017
  • Roy Exum
Roy Exum
Roy Exum

A tad over 25 years ago -- 1991 to be exact -- a brilliant Nashville advertising executive created a list of life’s truths to present his son on the eve of his high school graduation. From that, a glorious book entitled “Life’s Little Instruction Book” was born and H. Jackson Brown Jr. created a gold mine. I’m talking two years on the New York Times’ best-seller list. I am one of millions who swooned over it.

Since then, Jackson’s first book spawned 10 or 15 others and you can find them today in doctor’s offices, coffee shops, church libraries and anywhere else people find time to reflect and giggle. Back in the mid-90s I began my own list of life’s truths and, while I feel certain some of Brown’s observations have most certainly wiggled onto my list, this is “Graduation Sunday” across America and I would be horribly remiss if I failed to share my collection.

Many years ago we held what we called Baccalaureate ceremonies. These were usually held on the Sunday before commencement in a given church where the graduating class would take time to reflect, certainly give thanks, and “align personal beliefs in a spiritual setting.” Well, our “snowflakes” ruined all of that in recent years so join me today as I try to share a list of things I value.

To be candid, I had forgotten my list, which was last revised in 2014, until I was searching through some files earlier this week seeking some commencement material for a dear friend. These truths are as real today as they were three years ago, or 30 years ago, and it is my hope that some graduates might find a morsel or two to tuck away as they journey onward.

Here are 100 of my best:

* * *

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Never forget that great love and great achievements require great risks.

When you lose – and you will – never lose the lesson.

If you want something you’ve never had, then do something you’ve never done.

Follow the three R’s: Respect for self, Respect for others, and Responsibility for all of your actions.

Remember that sometimes when you don’t get what you want it is really a wonderful stroke of luck.

Learn the rules so you can break them the right way.

Don’t let a little dispute ruin a great friendship.

When you realize you have made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

Spend time alone every day.

Open your arms to change but hold tightly to your values.

Remember that sometimes silence is the best answer.

Never steal. The government hates competition.

Live a good, honorable life. That was when you think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.

In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the immediate situation. Never bring up the past – the water that was under the bridge back then is down river.

Share your knowledge. It is a way to immortality.

Be gentle and respectful of the earth.

Once a year try to visit a place you have never been before.

Remember the rest relationships are the ones where your love for one another is bigger than you need for one another.

Judge your success by what you had to give up to get it.

Try to attend three church services of denominations other than your own every year.

Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip. (Winston Churchill)

Give people more than they expect … and do so gladly.

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog! … Now, read this sentence ignoring the word ‘dog.’ Welcome to America.

Memorize a new poem every January.

Never believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want.

When you tell someone you love them, really mean it.

When you say “I am sorry” look the person right in the eye.

Agree to be engaged three months before you get married.

Believe in love at first sight.

Never allow a person to use the word “can’t” in any sentence without forcing them to say “yet” at the end of the same sentence. Believe this: ‘Impossible’ is nothing more than an opinion.

Never laugh at another person’s dreams.

Everybody wishes they could go to heaven but no one wants to die.

Love deeply and passionately. You can easily get hurt but it is the only way to live completely.

In disagreements, strive to fight fair.

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

Don’t judge people by their relatives.

Feed the hunger or else the hunger will eat you.

Lions never lose sleep over what sheep think.

Talk slow – think quick.

If you fail to prepare, then prepare to fail

Never lose control. If you do you will panic and it could cost you your life.

When someone asks you a question that you’d rather not answer, smile and counter, “Why do you want to know that?”

Call your mother (the best time is always when you don’t have a reason.)

Always say “bless you” when you hear someone sneeze.

Don’t let a little dispute ruin a great friendship.

Don’t kiss by the garden gate, love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t.

Smile anytime you answer the phone – so help me the caller can hear it.

Marry and man/woman you adore talking to. As you get older their conversation skills will be as important as any other.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Read a book once a week. Most of us can’t remember what we watched on TV two days ago but a good book is unforgettable.

Live a good, decent and fun life. Years from now when you look back, you will enjoy it a second time.

Trust in God but lock your car and carry a Glock. A truthful man doesn’t need a good memory, but a lair does.

A truthful man doesn’t need a good memory, but a lair does.

A loving atmosphere is what makes a home. Strive to nurture it every day.

Always read ‘between the lines’ and study the small print.

Pray – it is the most powerful force you have.

Never interrupt anyone when you are being flattered.

Mind your own business.

Don’t trust a man/woman who doesn’t close their eyes during a kiss.

If you make a lot of money, put it to use by helping others while you are still alive. You’ll find that will bring you more genuine happiness than anything you can buy.

Remember that your character is your true destiny.

Approach love making and cooking with the same wild abandon.

Sing in the shower every time you turn on the water.

Treat everyone you need with the way you would like to be treated.

Watch a sunrise at least once a year.

Never refuse homemade “anything” to eat.

Strive for excellence – perfection was taken long ago.

Plant a tree every year on your birthday and, if possible, for members of your family. They will be reminded every time they see it as it grows, as its leaves fall as well as spring back.

Learn three clean jokes, as well as a one or two a bit risqué.

Returned borrowed vehicles and anything else that has an engine with a full fuel tank.

Never waste an opportunity to tell others that you love them.

Leave anything you touch better than it was before you did.

Keep it simple.

Think big thoughts – relish small pleasures.

Become the most positive, enthusiastic person possibly can be.

Just as you forgive others, forgive yourself in the same way.

Say “thank you” at every opportunity.

A smile and the word “please” never go out of style.

Avoid negative people – all they want to do is pull you down to their level and the misery ain’t worth it.

Wear polished shoes and follow the IBM rule: “Look every bit as nice as anybody you’ll meet during the day.”

Remember people’s birthdays.

Commit yourself to being “better” every day.

Have a firm handshake, most especially if a man’s work get his hands dirty. He’ll never forget the kindness and we ought to wash our hands four time a day with hot water and soap.

Send lots of valentines and include a kind note. Surprisingly, your former “squeezes” and ex-spouses are always touched the most.

When you cry, remind yourself what every doctor knows -- tears are cleansing.

Look people who share your path in the eye and be the first to say ‘Good morning.’

Attempt to become someone’s “newest friend” every day and when you start loving people – just watch – they’ll love you back.

Keep secrets. Always respect and guard any secrets.

Plant flowers in the spring and plant bulbs in the fall.

Every day that you do not have a dog there will be a void in your heart.

Stop blaming others.

Wave to kids on school buses. (I once gave a thumb’s up to a kid on an Orange Grove bus – it’s a sign a lot of Down’s kid love – and he shot me a bird. I laughed for three entire weeks.)

Be there when people need you. You can fake that you care but you can’t fake showing up.

Don’t expect life to always be fair. It isn’t. Fair is just a place you take your prized pig every summer.

Never under appreciate the power of love and savor every emotion.

Live your life as an exclamation, not as an explanation.

When you are offered champagne for the first time, drink all that you possibly can. It will make you so deathly sick you’ll never let another drop touch your lips for as long as you live.

Don’t ever be afraid to say “I made a mistake” but do so promptly

Don’t ever be afraid to say “I don’t know” but do so promptly.

Compliments make for better supervisors than criticism but to be a company president requires compliments for even the little things.

Keep your promises, no matter what it takes, and make sure you word is stronger than any handshake, legal document or Bible verse. You word is your bond.

Every night, without fail, count your blessings.

* * *

Congratulations! I know classes were hard at times but no person alive can ever steal your mind and the knowledge you have learned. Never forget the journey, remember where you started and give thanks for where you are today. As you prepare for the next step, be mindful that with every new morning there comes a day where you will learn on a daily basis until you die.

Your goal in life is to find your gift. Your purpose in life is to give it away. Go get ‘em.

royexum@aol.com

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