Roy Exum: The Good, Bad & Ugly

  • Tuesday, May 30, 2017
  • Roy Exum
Roy Exum
Roy Exum

Last week I came across a wonderful story about one of my favorite personal causes – preventing suicide – and the response to the article (“A Suicide Letter”) was heavy. Many people appreciated what I had gleaned from the “I Am Second” website and, among the emails was a plea for help from a single mother, desperate to help her son.

I immediately passed her email “up the ladder” to those who are far better equipped than I am to handle these things but inwardly I mourned because the state of Tennessee is way behind in confronting our mental illness crisis. For instance, our Moccasin Bend mental hospital has 150 inpatient beds and they are consistently at maximum capacity

The top officers at the Hamilton County Jail – where about 40 percent of those incarcerated must be administered psychotropic drugs – say they have more mentally-afflicted patients than the hospital does. The horrifying truth is the County Jail is the only alternative for immediate or acute care. It is inexcusable but still a hard fact we must face.

When a mentally-unstable person is taking their prescribed medicine they can easily function in society – which is why our Mental Health Court so urgently needs the most support our Hamilton County Commission can give in the upcoming budget. And, while some mental illness has no long-range cure, the easy answer is long-range care works well.

When a struggler has the right encouragement and counseling, it is a beautiful solution. Read this email from a girl who took time to write to me – it made my day – and note the joy between the words:

* * *

Thank God! I do every day and night and in between! I haven't had the easiest journey but I wouldn't change it for the world! The serenity I have now is what I was looking for all the years I put substances in my body to make me "feel different." I have been clean/sober since December 2015. It's only by the grace of God! I know how people feel when they're out there using/drinking. The shame, guilt, and thinking you're not worthy is overwhelming and keeps us doing the only thing we know to do, get higher, drink more. More! It doesn't matter if it's alcohol or drugs.

The point is, using drugs or alcohol is a symptom of a bigger issue. Take the alcohol and drugs away and then you can get to the root of the problem. It's a spiritual malady. A disease. A disease that tells me I don't have a disease. Cunning, baffling, powerful. It will trick you and come out of nowhere!

“You can have just one, no one will know." That's the biggest lie that sucks so many great people into the turmoil and chaos that only ends in jail, institutes, or 6 feet under if one doesn't get help and get serious about learning to live life on God's terms. At least that's the answer for me. Once in recovery, I have to work just as hard at staying sober as I did using/drinking. This isn't for sissies!

I know now that my disease of alcoholism/addiction is out there doing push-ups while I am in recovery. All it would take is one drug or one drink to send me back to a place so dark I wish to just die. Once a substance is in me, that "more switch" in my brain is turned on and I am powerless.

I thank God for never turning his back on me and for bringing me out of that dark chaotic life! I pray others will find their way to recovery and a happy, joyous, and free life! I never thought I would be where I am today. For that I'm grateful!

I also suffer from depression and do take meds for it.

Many of us suffer from mental illness as well as the "ism." For me, drugs and alcohol were my coping skill to handle life. It worked at first but then drugs/alcohol quit working and that point I think I hit my rock bottom and that's when I was willing to learn a different way of life. It's an epidemic and way too many of us are dying!

There is such a great life to be lived! I thank God today that I have been able to let go and let Him. I am not in control of anything. Not only am I powerless over alcohol/drugs but people, places, and things. Life is full of ups and downs. I am grateful I have a spiritual toolkit today for life. Thanks for the article! Found it very heartfelt and hope someone reads it and realizes they aren't alone!

* * *

Boy, when I get these emails my soul absolutely soars. I know what I share can help people but then there are bad ones, too.  And these tear my heart out. Note the despair from a single mother in this one:

* * *

“I don’t even know where to begin. I have a 19-year-old son that I’m struggling with right now and unable to get any type of help. Several times he has been evaluated and released either by several hospitals. However he has mental condition and is in and out of jail. I can’t get any type of help. Thank you so much for this article. I just hope I’m able to get help for my son before it is too late.”

* * *

I immediately sent it to some people who were quick to respond. Here is a bad situation but, with the weekend coming fast and a holiday on Monday, there is a certain protocol that must be established to enter the two-year Mental Health Court program. You must also remember the Public Defender’s office has a fulltime job of its own. Each lawyer carries about 70 cases at the same time.

The ugly part is that mental illness doesn’t wait.

About 24 hours after the boy’s mother wrote her plea for help, she had to rush home to find her anguished son beating his head so violently on the outside of the house it would require stitches. He was also attempting to gouge his eyes out and – no – he was neither intoxicated or on any street drugs.

The mother's only recourse was to cradle her son in her arms and sing to him his favorite childhood song. “You Are My Sunshine, My Only Sunshine.” Finally she was able to calm him down enough to desperately find some Zoloff, a prescription drug for anxiety.

It gets worse. Without adequate treatment, mental illness gets worse and worse. On Sunday morning I got this email. “(Son’s name) has been locked up since yesterday and now has a busted head and needs help. Is there anything we can do with it being a Sunday?”

Life should be a lot simpler than this. Stuff like this doesn’t happen, right? Brother, it happens at the County Jail every day. I spent a good chunk of my Sunday afternoon trying to get some Zoloff for a prisoner at the County Jail. As I tried, a young man suffered horribly behind bars.

As the courthouse begins to hum this morning and those who had cookouts with their families return to work, we’ll keep trying to let the saucer cool the coffee, as Thomas Jefferson once said.

But what better way to illustrate one plight of mankind that we can ease in Hamilton County. Jail is not the place for the mentally ill. The Mental Health Court can assure our most needy take their medicines and avoid its confines. Public Defender Steve Smith requested a modest $280,000 for the Mental Health Court. I suggested an allocation of $500,000 last week

Now I don’t think $1 million will be enough to adequately staunch the flow of about 40 percent of prisoners in our County Jail who never should have been dumped there. But as of now, the worst solution is the only solution and we are better than this.

Humanity must be better than this.

royexum@aol.com

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