Roy Exum: The Miracle Of Oobleck

  • Sunday, June 11, 2017
  • Roy Exum
Roy Exum
Roy Exum

I love when something is so simple, so easy, but only until the right person comes along, will it absolutely change the world as we know it. Not only am I going to tell you about a miracle called “Oobleck” but gather the kids because I have the recipe and they’ll adore playing with it. Trust me, this is a fun story with a very real outcome, I promise, so read this one through.

During World War II, Theodor Geisel was in Belgium when he heard some kid complaining about the rain. “Rain … rain … always rain!” the little child groused, having no idea, of course, that Mr. Geisel wrote children’s’ books under the unlikely pen name – Dr. Seuss. Several years later (1949) the beloved author created the story, “Bartholomew and the Oobleck.”

In the book the king in the Land of Didd gets all wound up that the only thing that falls from the sky is rain in the spring, sun in the summer, fog in the fall, and snow in the winter. The king wants a better variety. Soon the stupid ole king gets his page boy, the curly-headed Bartholomew Cubbins, to summon the magicians and orders a spell to be cast on the sky and – lo and behold --- this slimy green stuff called Oobleck (a Dr. Seuss word) starts falling from the sky and sticks to everything, really fouling up the kingdom in the Land of Didd.

The only way to stop the Oobleck is to say the magic words, "Shuffle Duffle Muzzle Muff" but Oobleck has covered the cave where the magicians live and they are trapped. The king can’t say the spell-breaking code without getting the words mixed up and, remember, he ain’t even a magician. It gets worse and worse.

Bartholomew sees a mother bird that’s trapped and his heart is torn. Not even the king’s horses can move because they are covered in the green slime and the Royal Trumpeter’s lips are stuck to his horn. The whole kingdom seems doomed until Bartholomew has jolly well enough.

The curly-headed page, Bartholomew Cubbins, confronts the king and shouts, “Can’t you just say something simple … like ‘I am sorry!’ That the king does, the Oobleck suddenly stops, goes away and the sun shines again on the kingdom. We also learn “I am sorry” is a wonderful thing to say.

You’ll never believe this – Oobleck is back – and it will save countless millions of lives, just like “I am sorry.” Last year at the United States Air Force Academy, Cadet Hayley Weir was challenged with lightening the 28 pounds of armor that our soldiers must wear into combat. The instructors supplied her with Kevlar, carbon fiber, and all kinds of stuff but Cadet Weir soon brought a kitchen mixer to class, and concocted a goo made of powdered cornstarch and plain water. Presto! The concoction Oobleck was in the mixing bowl.

“Jamb your finger in here,” she held up a jar for her instructor, a former Marine named Ryan Burke. “I thought I had broken my finger,” he laughed and was hooked. The Air Force got in on the experiment.

Scientifically, Oobleck is “a non-Newtonian fluid.” This means it can be poured like gravy over biscuits, but becomes a solid when a force strikes it. So what? The 21-year-old began to mix different combinations, then slip a piece of Kevlar in the middle, and smack with a hammer. Soon she was taking it to the firing range and shooting through it with a 9 mm. pistol. It failed. It failed again. Hayley and her instructor kept trying, changing layers and using different mixes.

One day in December they shot the quarter-inch test fabric with a 9 mm. pistol and Prof. Burke was watching on video. “Hayley, I think you just got it.” They fired again, stopping the bullet. “The more the molecules in the material responded, it yielded better resistance. The greater the force, the greater the hardening or thickening effect," Burke said.

A firearms instructor was bedazzled but, nonetheless, went into the Armory and brought out a .44 Magnum. “It will fail this,” he promised. Time and time, the Oobleck and the Kevlar stopped each round easily. Now everyone in the military was interested. Her samples were 75 percent lighter than any other body armor now available.

One more thing to remember: when Oobleck is put in a sealable pouch, even after the Kevlar fabric is added, it is still liquid. Don’t you see? Each series of pouches are totally pliable to bend around an infantryman’s neck, around his legs. Solders in an IED zone could wear pants, and even underwear, made from the stuff. Autistic kids could wear helmets, or how about pants for motorcycle riders – ‘road rash’ would be extinct.

Think for a moment: every cop in America’s bullet-proof vest would be 75 percent lighter and breathable, Army tents now guaranteed against shrapnel, “coats” for every Humvee and police dog, SWAT teams, firemen, sailors on a flight deck. The list is endless. Fighter jet interiors, fire hoses, elbow pads for athletes, seat cushions -- c’mon, get in the game …. unbelievable … just corn starch and water.

When Hayley Weir graduated from the academy weeks ago, her orders were immediately rewritten. She is at Clemson studying textiles, perfecting Oobleck, and doing the necessary steps to patent the newest lifesaver, all while making sure the Air Force and her professor get just credit for the invention.

My goodness! “Shuffle Duffle Muzzle Muff!”

* * *

HOW TO MAKE YOUR VERY OWN OOBLECK

These are the ingredients you’ll need – 1 cup of water, 1.5-to-2 cups powdered corn starch. Food coloring (Dr Seuss purists should go for light green … but any color, or none, works equally as well.)

Get a bowl and start stirring the water with a spoon. You’ll quickly abandon the spoon for your hand – Oobleck is absolutely harmless … as a matter of fact they use corn starch on surgical gloves, chicken nuggets, and millions of other things. Yes, it even keeps powdered sugar from caking … it comes straight from an ear of corn.

Keep adding corn starch to the bowl as you are mixing. What you want is when it is a liquid when it rolls off your fingers but when you squeeze a handful real fast, it becomes a solid. When you release it – hello – it turns into a liquid again. You can add more cornstarch or water at any time to get the consistency you want.

Jab it with your finger. Put it in a plastic jar and shake it. Make a puddle and see how fast you can move you finger through it. Make a bunch, put it in a galvanized tub, and literally walk on it. Really. You can.

Do NOT pour a bucket of it and suddenly kick it. More so, do NOT try to create your own bullet-proof suit.

When you’ve finished playing, just wash it away with warm water. It is absolutely as earth-friendly as a piece of corn. Adults and children alike may forget to say “Shuffle Duffle Muzzle Muff!” but, whenever it is fitting, quote Bartholomew Cubbins: “I am sorry.”

royexum@aol.com

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