Rndy Smith: Maintaining Your Balance

  • Wednesday, September 19, 2018
  • Randy Smith
Randy Smith
Randy Smith
I am considered to be a senior citizen, though I do not look at myself as being old-just older. I have health problems which go with the territory, but I can still mow my own yard. I can do normal tasks and can lift things pretty well. What I apparently  can't do well is stand up on my feet without falling a lot.  According to some of my friends that too goes with the territory. On Monday of this week I noticed a large weed in the rose bushes near the front of my house.
I walked down off my front porch and attempted to pull the weed away from my roses. I didn't notice a small stump that was sticking up a few inches behind me above the ground. Now, get the picture. My front yard is sloped pretty steeply from my house to the street. As I pulled the weed, I stumbled and tripped over the stump.

Now in years past I would have been able to regain my balance and minimize my fall, if I fell at all.  At my age however, I fell hard but not before I spent what seemed like at least 30 minutes running down the slope, toward the street trying to maintain my balance. On a steep slope it is impossible to catch yourself and avoid the fall. It's called momentum. Momentum is something I am familiar with because of my background in sports. I've seen it time and time again and it's really hard to stop. I discovered that the hard way-really hard way.

As I was headed down the slope, I thought at first I could slow down, maintain my balance and eventually stop. Boy was I wrong. The further down the slope I went, the faster I would go. I even thought about trying to fall on the grass before I reached the street but I couldn't. I was headed toward the pavement and I was going faster and faster. My only hope at this point was to reach the pavement which was fairly level, eventually slow down and avoid the fall. I even thought if I could stay on my feet until I made it to my neighbor's yard, if I did fall it would be on grass. That didn't happen. When I made it to the pavement that balance that I was looking to maintain was lost once again.

The final stage of my ordeal was the fall which was an epic. I hit the pavement hard mainly on my right side. I slid on my right side until I face planted on the hard pavement and finally came to a stop on the curb in front of my neighbor's house. I didn't black out and the first thought that ran through my head was the quote from the Chris Farley movie, "Black Sheep" after he tumbled down a big steep hill, "What in the @#$* was that all about."

I had a badly bruised right eye that is still black and puffy. I also had more than my share of road rash with cuts and scrapes on my head, hand, elbow, shoulder, ankle and leg. Though I hit on my right side , somehow I sprained my left wrist and I still haven't figured that one out.  I rolled over when my wife, neighbor and son-in-law got to me. I saw clouds up above and realized I was still alive. After I regained my composure, I was able to climb in the car and my wonderful wife Shelia drove me to the emergency room. 

Now for those of you who don't know me or my family very well, a fall has always been a reason to laugh especially when we're sure the person who fell wasn't badly hurt. It started with my paternal grandmother, continued with my father and then on to me. That trait also has rubbed off on my wife and children as well. She asked me a few questions on the way to the E.R. and when she realized I truly was okay, she told me, "I'm sorry" as she started to laugh uncontrollably. Between laughs she would again say, "I am so sorry" and then belly laugh again. Tears were streaming down her cheeks as we approached the entrance to the E.R. By this time she had begun to take in deep breaths to try and regain her composure. What she didn't realize was I had begun to laugh too.

I wish someone had captured that whole scene on video. When my wife looked up and saw me running fast toward the street, she asked herself, "What is he doing?" And as I was approaching the street, she again thought to herself, "This isn't going to end well. "

When I ended up on a bed in one of the exam rooms in the emergency room, I was still laughing and so was Shelia. The laughter continued as one of the E.R. attendants lifted my shirt, saw my heart surgery scar and asked, "Oh have you had heart surgery?" I couldn't resist. I replied, "Nope. I did that myself."  Again, we laughed until we were hurting, which was not hard for me to do at all.

Later, when a nurse had finished cleaning my wounds and putting on bandages, she said, "Okay as soon as you sign the dismissal papers, you guys can hit the road.....no pun intended."
 
Once again, the room was filled with laughter, which is the way it has been all my life. If you can't laugh at yourself from time to time, life can be pretty miserable. I really wish I could maintain my balance a bit better though.   


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Randy Smith can be reached at rsmithsports@epbfi.com

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