by Roy Exum
posted May 21, 2008
 Roy Exum |
“What on earth are you doing?” cried one lady, a witness to the whole thing. “That animal almost got you killed!”
The blind man answered quietly, “I realize what just happened and, for your information, once I locate this dog’s head I am going to slap him silly.”
Well, what is so delightful to me is the blind man’s resourcefulness, which sets up today’s “One Question IQ Test.” Imagine, if you will, another man, this one who cannot speak but who needs a toothbrush. So he steps into the drug store, finds a clerk and then pantomimes before her, acting as though he is vigorously brushing his teeth.
“You need a toothbrush?” the helpful clerk asks and, seeing the man nod, hands him a toothbrush. The man then counts out his money, pays for the item, and leaves the store. The IQ question then becomes, what does a blind man do if he needs a pair of trademark sunglasses to go with his white cane?
As you mull your answer, allow me to intersperse that on Tuesday a U.S. Court of Appeals ruled that our currency system does indeed discriminate against those who are blind among us, that there is no way someone who cannot see can tell the difference between a $1, a $5, or any other bill. That ruling could cost us taxpayers literally millions of dollars. And why?
The ruling, in my mind, is ludicrous. Understand, I am a huge advocate of those who are disabled, handicapped, challenged or any other word you care to use. But while I am sorry for anyone who must shoulder an additional burden, I am also so tired of the stupid stuff we do at the frivolous expense of the vast majority.
I believe I could make a case that electric extension cords, sleeping cats and toilet seats that are left counter to the next person’s needs are also, in the legal sense, detrimental to the blind, but, my goodness, enough is enough.
I get irked when I see a growing number of signs in Spanish that are now in public places. This is America and we speak English. If I go to Germany and need a toothbrush, I don’t expect English subtitles in the drug store. If I am in Helsinki and need to find my way, I find somebody who can speak English and learn the way. I don’t believe you need to coddle those who know quite well before they get here that we are an English-speaking country.
Several years ago our local school system ran up a huge bill in construction and legal fees trying to provide for just one kid. Had I been the judge, I would have ruled that child had better learn to overcome the obstacles early because this ole world we live in ain’t got time for such foolishness and has even less time for those who expect it. I don’t mean to be cruel, but, get this straight, you get to New York City once you are grown and you’d better know how to move around on your own.
What's education - teaching a kid to sue, to bleed the system, or to "cowboy up" and learn to cope. Are we better to accent a problem, or to teach our afflicted how to overcome it?
If a blind person is resourceful, they’ll know how to be able to tell the difference in a “sawbuck” and a “Benjamin,” whether it be carrying them in a different pocket, using a debit card, and carrying only one-dollar bills and counting them out each time. There are all kinds of ways if you're resourceful, and, the more resourceful you become, the easier you’ll make your way.
Life's playing field isn't manicured. Rather it has been proven to me to have weeds and thorns. Teach me not to run but to maneuver the obstacles I find between here and the goal line.
Again, my heart goes out to others who have their own set of circumstances, but someone smart told me not long ago to be kind to those we meet because each one of us is carrying our own satchel of troubles, as different as they well may be. Changing the size of our money? Encrypting bills with Braille? Oh, please, the only thing we need to change is some attitudes and obviously the place we must start is on the U.S. Court of Appeals.
Now, back to my IQ test. The mute guy has his toothbrush, right? A little while later in comes the blind man, moving his white stick to either side lest he bump into something or somebody. He finally gets to the counter, and tucking his cane under his arm, he must now get the glasses so what’s he do?
He hears the sales clerk come close and then faces in her direction ….
Then he says politely, “Hey, ya’ll got any dark glasses?”
Therein lies the lesson.
royexum@aol.com
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