posted June 26, 2008
Hamilton County School officials report that the new Signal Mountain School is receiving a new name - in keeping with the more modern names of many local schools. After lengthy (three minutes) consideration, they have announced the new name to be: Signal Mountain Twenty-First Century School For Teaching, Learning, Academics, Classical Studies, Fine Arts, Creative Arts, Arts and Sciences, More Fine Arts, Academics and Technology, Liberal Arts, More Academics, Middle Museum Magnet and Cosmetology (Oh, Rhonda!) School and Lyceum.
In other school news, officials report that an earthquake hit Howard School (For Academics and Technology) at 10:05 a.m. this morning. Luckily no student was hurt, since none had arrived yet.
Also, at Red Bank and Tyner High Schools, scanning machines will be installed at all doors to search for guns. Any student not having a gun will be given one.
The School Board has announced that under no conditions will they consider another new contract for Superintendent James Scales, for at least six months (okay, maybe three).
The School Board also announced that Debra Matthews, even though her home address is listed as P.O. Box 2485, Chattanooga, TN 37409, does not actually live in a Post Office Box. However, the School Board admits that Chester Bankston does live in a Post Office Box, at P.O. Box 218, Harrison, TN 37341. They say he is actually very comfortable there, though he had to give up his big-screen TV.
Hal Lee Luyah halleeluyah@gmail.com
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