posted July 2, 2008
LOCAL MEDICAL NEWS
Erlanger officials report that after doing a series of tests, they have determined that School Board Member Chip Baker is actually the son of County Commissioner Curtis Adams. The determination was made after the identical Taxing Gene was found in both of their DNA.
In other local medical news, Erlanger has announced that they are still going to take taxpayer money and pay really high salaries, and Nurse Ratched will handle anyone who objects.
LOCAL SPORTS NEWS
The Chattanooga Lookouts report they are considering changing their name to something that does not refer to one of the members of a bank robbery gang.
POET’S CORNER
There once was a man named Curtis
Who said he wanted to alert us
That those who run schools
Are money-wasting fools
But it’s his taxing that hurt us.
There once was a man named Ron
Who as a Mayor was kind of a Non
“We still have to rebuild!
So re-elect Littlefield!
Hey! Wake up! I’m not done!”
There once was a man named Jim
The School Board said “We just love him!”
But when it’s the Scales that are weighed
A raise should be delayed
‘Cause his chances of staying are slim.
RIVERBEND NEWS
Officials have announced the new Riverbend Slogan, which is:
RIVERBEND 2009!
SPONSORED BY THE NRA
Hal Lee Luyah halleluyah@gmail.com
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