By Roy Exum
posted August 26, 2008
 Roy Exum |
Stopping by the concierge desk, I asked the very pretty girl to tell me how to say "Good Evening" in Finnish. She, of course, immediately obliged and then laughed delightedly as my Southern drawl made total mincemeat of the pronunciation.
She then very delicately gave me a lesson in etiquette that has served me well in all the years that have followed. "Smile at the person, take their hand if it is offered and say in your best English, "Good evening." That way they will not perceive you to be a person who is not so very genuine."
Subsequently, I had a marvelous time that night in Helsinki.
Now we all know that the news the Volkswagen plant is coming to Chattanooga is the best thing to happen here in the last 100 years. We are all tremendously thrilled with the way Bob Corker and Claude Ramsey have emerged as the real heroes of the effort and, for their sake, let's not come across as a bunch of "suchergebris," which is German for "phoneys."
If you want to present yourself as a turnip-truck driver when the German officials start arriving here to live, try speaking their language. You can't do it, not without literally months of study and practice. So whether you are a grocery clerk or a bank executive, you'll stand a lot taller if you show your warmth and hospitality rather than try to explain it to them like you have a sinus condition.
Conversely, my heart wept last week when I saw where the city of Nashville is actually putting it on the ballot to make English it's official language. Are you kidding me? How do you think that vote is going to come out?
Sadly, it smacks with heavy anti-Hispanic sentiment. While we have some clowns wanting us to proclaim "das Willkommen," which is German for "welcome," Nashville's elected officials are somewhat blatantly doing just the reverse and “guess what“ it won't matter at all.
If a Hispanic wants to earn money, the fact Nashville is "officially" English won't fetter his footsteps in the slightest because it has been an English-speaking burg since the city was founded in 1779. What you are seeing with this on the ballot is no more than a somewhat slimy political move. Oh, it will cost the taxpayers money for the election process, but it is absolutely unnecessary.
I'm one of these people who understands if I travel to a foreign country I either have to be with somebody who can interpret the language or find a villager who knows English. For anyone to come to the United States without the same attitude is ludicrous.
We have rules - our rules - and whether it is a Mexican, a German, or somebody from Nairobi, one of them is you have to recognize and learn commands in English. If you don't, then you cannot work properly, much less take care of yourself or those with you in an emergency.
The problem with illegal immigrants is horrible. They are incredibly expensive to local governments, but who among us can withhold medical help from a suffering human being? Rather than coddle, I think you've got to be quite firm in saying until you can speak our language, until you can function by attending night classes or whatever, you are on your own because we don't offer bilingual services or signs in a foreign language. For one thing, we can't afford it.
If that sounds cruel, then imagine how the opposite sounds to those who follow the rules, who pay taxes, who understand in America you must speak English if you are to know and understand success.
Now let's get back to the impending flood of Germans who will soon start arriving here - they know we speak English. They are prepared for that. And the very minute some buffoon in a bright peach dress comes up with a gushing word they also cannot begin to fathom, they'll wonder if aliens from another planet have decided to build a plant here, too.
I was talking once with a high-ranking Japanese official and asked him, point blank, what was the best way to present my business card in front of the ambassador, you know, holding it in both hands with my arms extended and then slightly bowing like I've seen them do on TV. He smiled and replied, "It is best not to do it. Just shake his hand."
Therefore, remember this axiom when you're dealing with foreign visitors: Be yourself - when you fail to do so, trust me on this one, they are the first to recognize you are not yourself. And that way you won't become an "die Betretenkeit." That's German for "embarrassment". But don't you love the way it makes you goofy when you try to pronounce it in front of the bathroom mirror?
royexum@aol.com
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