posted October 5, 2008
I am rich.
In the last year and a half, I’ve lost half of the household income. I’ve lost the support of well-meaning family and friends that had good intentions but also responsibilities of their own. I’ve lost the satisfaction, perks, and rewards that come with a professional position in the working world. I’ve lost the bedroom furniture. I’ve lost the living room furniture. I’ve lost the ability to eat a hot meal. I’ve lost the feeling of the warm, delightful sensation of sipping a hot cup of coffee to completion. I’ve lost the luxury of a long, hot shower. I feel the occasional loss of sanity or at least some days it feels that way. I’ve lost a big chunk of retirement money. I’ve lost sleep. I’ve lost lazy days. I’ve lost carefree living, for now.
I am rich.
My daughter was born a year and a half ago. I’ve never been a big “kid person,” but then she came to us. I am blissfully in love with her and because of her, I am now her “kid person.” I never thought it would happen, but it did. The words of others never made sense. I heard other parents describe their own feelings about their children and I never really made that connection, until a year and a half ago. I understand now that you cannot understand until you have the experience for yourself.
I am rich.
Sure, the losses have been major, but the dividends of my intangible investments are bigger, higher than I could have ever imagined. The dividends that pay out in the form of spontaneous hugs and kisses, of seeing the connection finally being made after days of explaining, of being needed above all others, of truly understanding trust because you are trusted without fear and without doubt or question, of understanding in those tender moments just how fragile that trust is, of becoming fearful of the great responsibility of that trust, yet fiercely determined to protect it – those are the dividends that are guaranteed to pay out. Those are the dividends that are guaranteed and where diversification is a term left most certainly for economics. Those are the dividends that cannot be manipulated or lost. My investment is safe. My investment is secure.
I am rich.
Alannah Hayes
alannahhayes@gmail.com
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