Chattanoogan: Kevin McNelly – “I’ve Learned To Pay Attention”

“Nothing happens by accident – it’s all interconnected,” says Kevin McNelly, as he looks back on his journey in the mission field. His family moved to Chattanooga when he was just two years old after Kevin’s father Jim McNelly, had taken a job with the former Chattanooga Free Press.

When Kevin was just a boy, he wanted to be a photographer. “I got to work at the Free Press with dad doing odd jobs and had the great opportunity to shadow a Pulitzer prize-winning photographer (Robin Hood). I got to follow him around and watch his technique,” Kevin says.

He attended UTC for his degree in criminal justice while Jeff, his friend since kindergarten, attended Bryan College in Dayton.

Kevin’s introduction to adulthood did not consist of the strong faith that he has today. With no personal relationship with God, Kevin was just going through the motions of life. He would make one wrong choice after another and in his words, he ‘was a jerk’.

God knew that Kevin would soon commit his life to Him. He had brought him through a very dark place in his life where he had no choice but to look up. “I was over everything, I was tired of life and making wrong decisions,” Kevin admits.

One desperate night, Kevin headed to Bryan College to see Jeff, who had been praying for him since they were kids. “I was around church growing up but not anything indepth. Jeff and I grew up in Red Bank and we played ball together. He encouraged me in those days,” Kevin insists. “I decided that night, that at least while I went to see Jeff - it would be okay. He would make me laugh and we’d have a good time.”

On the road to Dayton, Kevin had cried out, “I don’t know if there is a God out there …or if you even exist… but if you do - you can have it! I’m done!” In his combatant soul, Kevin finally pleaded with God that if there was a woman out there for him - to bring her into his life.

“I arrived on campus and Jeff was in the library sitting with his girlfriend and also …my future wife,” Kevin smiles. “When I saw Gina with them, I distinctly heard the Lord say, ‘There she is.’ I was just standing at the door staring. Jeff was motioning for me to come over and, after three years, Gina and I were married,” he says.

When Gina gave birth to their oldest son, they named him Jeff. Kevin later found out that Jeff had warned Gina that he was trouble and to stay far away from him. “Jeff’s assessment was right and she kept her distance for a long time, but I would come to the college and hang out with her and her friends. In that process, after college I found the Lord while I was at Fort Knox, Ky., in armor school,” Kevin says.

He spent seven years at a tank unit in Tennessee, and began a career in white-collar crime investigations at BlueCross BlueShield.

“There are no accidental meetings or arrangements in life and if we pay attention, we start seeing that inter-connection taking place,” Kevin says. “I think back to Jeff at Bryan, meeting Gina there and all the things that began shaping my life.”

After his time in the Guard was up, Kevin had to make the decision whether to re-enlist or to retire. He had been using his vacation time at BCBS for short-term mission trips. When Kevin left the Army, in less than 30 days he wound up in Bosnia on another mission trip.

“That was a flashpoint for me.  We were at a refugee Camp with the Muslims. It was that two-week journey that shaped my thinking. Even though I had a good career at BCBS, I knew I had to do more than ‘corporate America’,” Kevin insists. During this trip, the Bosnian Civil War was going on, which was characterized by bitter fighting, indiscriminate shelling of cities and towns, ethnic cleansing and methodical mass rape.

Coming out of his obligation to the National Guard, Kevin recognized the call toward missions. Gina had wanted to accompany him on a trip to the Philippines. She had told him that each time he came back from a mission trip, he was different and she wanted to know why and to be able to help him transition when he got back.

“She is a home body and likes stability,” Kevin says. “In less than 24 hours of being there, she said ‘I am really comfortable here’ which really surprised me with all the bugs and stuff. I had felt for about a year that we were supposed to live there but I didn’t say anything. As I prayed about it, I knew the Lord didn’t want me to say a word. He just wanted me to be quiet for a change,” Kevin says.

“After a few months… we would just lie in bed quiet just looking at the ceiling - every night. Finally, I just looked at her one night and said, ‘So what do you think?’ That’s all I said to her. She said, ‘I agree… I think we are supposed to move there,’” Kevin shares.

Moving to the Philippines when their sons Jeff and Jay were five and seven years old, the family would live there as missionaries for the next three years. Kevin was having coffee with a fellow missionary named Ken Arrand.  Ken had received a phone call and, while listening to the one-sided conversation, Kevin heard his friend’s exuberant promises to the person on the phone.

He told Kevin after hanging up that 60 people from YWAM (Youth With A Mission) in Hawaii were on a plane and needed housing, transportation and mission work. The group had been en route to Thailand when they were told that they were rejected and not allowed in the country. “I pulled my palm pilot out and did a search to see what I could do to help Ken. Up pops a dermatologist in Manila that I had met, who by chance owned a bus,” Kevin says.

Dr. Sarmiento gave the daring duo the use of his bus and, after a little more planning and hustling about; Kevin and Ken had completed the impossible. “In less than 24 hours YWAM was on our front door and provisions were made. The Lord had been saying to me all along throughout the years, ‘Pay attention… just pay attention and I will show you how all this is connected,’” Kevin vows.

After three years, City Church of Chattanooga wanted a missions program and hired Kevin to implement it.  The family came back to the states in 2002. Having built an orphanage in the Philippines and seeing the needs of children there, Kevin and Gina had thoughts of adoption resurface.

Gina says, “When I was a teenager I felt that someday I wanted to adopt a child. There were many families in my church that had adopted children and I had seen the impact that it made on their lives. Kevin and I agreed from the beginning of our marriage that we would like to adopt. When it came time to adopt our daughter Mei Ling, we jumped in with both feet!”

In the process of working in the Philippines the family had also done some work in China. Kevin says, “I saw the difficulties for children there as well. In 2005 we started the process but we were on the list for a well-baby. We thought after a few years, why were we not on the list for a special needs child?”

In December of 2008, Kevin and Gina adopted Mei Ling, who had a cleft lip. Gina recalls the very moment. “Kevin was very supportive while we were in China. He stood back and let me hold our precious little daughter first, because he knew that I would need to bond with her, since I would be the one primarily staying home with her. The moment I took Mei Ling in my arms, it felt no different than when I held our two sons for the very first time. She was ours! We had waited and prayed for our sweet little ‘China Doll’ for three long years and now we were holding her in our arms and kissing her beautiful face! God had knitted our hearts together even before we saw her. What a gift she was!”

While in China, the family was having breakfast in the hotel. Kevin was sitting at the table with Mei Ling while Gina got her food. When she came back, it was Kevin’s turn to head to the buffet.

Gina recalls the funny incident, “He walked up behind someone who he thought was one of our sons and gave him a good flick on the backside, just to say ‘good morning’ - only to discover that it was not one of our sons after all!”

A Chinese man was in line getting his food and quickly turned around with a scowl on his face. Kevin suddenly spoke up and said, ‘‘I am so sorry! I thought that you were my son.’’ The man was not amused.

“My husband later found out that it is derogatory to call someone your son. That is very belittling. Kevin learned a lesson that day and made sure that he did not encounter the man again,” Gina laughs.

Aside from learning the customs and differences in China, Kevin and Gina had the wonderful experience of getting their beautiful daughter.

“She is a perfect fit for our family,” Kevin says, “her personality – everything!”

Before the adoption, China doctors had fixed Mei Ling’s lip, but not her pallet. “You could basically see up into the backside of her eyes and into the sinuses because there was nothing there. Her nose was collapsed on one side and there was just a cavity all the way up into the sinus area. She had breathing issues, ear issues – everything that is supposed to be connected was not,” Kevin says.

Mei Ling has had six surgeries in the five years they have had her. She will continue to have surgeries until she is about 20. Kevin says the financial responsibility is enormous but also miraculous.

When finding a specialist for Mei Ling and her needs, Kevin began his research by typing in “number one plastic surgeon - United States – cleft lip.” Dr. Larry Sargent’s name popped up and Kevin was elated that he was right here in Chattanooga.

“As we look at the events in our lives, I have told the Lord, ‘I don’t understand it’ or ‘I can’t afford it’ or ‘I am not smart enough to enter into this’ and the Lord says, ‘you are right – you don’t have enough money and you are not smart enough and you don’t have all the capabilities, but I do. If you just follow – I will make the connections.’  We didn’t have what it took to adopt Mei Ling, but at the right moment and at the right time everything fell into place. If you look back, you can see all of God’s handiwork,” Kevin testifies.

When son Jeff was in the sixth grade, he went to Israel with his dad on a two-week trip. As Jeff grew up, he thought of going into the military and Kevin had suggested that he check out YWAM. Jeff says, “I planned to do a discipleship training school, which is three months in the classroom learning… you learn a whole score of things and then you spend the remaining three months doing outreach and practicing what you learned.”

Jeff had gone to Chattanooga Christian through the 11th grade, but was home schooled his senior year. In 2010, Jeff decided to go to Scotland for mission work and had even bought a kilt. “My outreach was to Turkey. We were there for two months in Istanbul and our group split up and we went to places like Antioch, Ephesus and a town called Natalia. These were all places that Paul from the Bible had gone to. I saw some amazing things happen,” Jeff says.

After six months, Jeff came back to the states and had planned to go to college, but then decided to go back to Scotland and cancelled his plans for school. Kevin was not sure he liked the idea of his son thwarting off college but then he realized Jeff was heeding a call.

“When I was in prayer, the Lord would say, ‘Well, what do you expect? He is doing what you taught him to do. You have taught him to follow Me and I am the one that is leading him, so you need to be okay with that,’” Kevin says.

The hardest part of walking by faith through his journey was being in the midst of the obstacles and financial stress with no clear answers.

“My wife has always said that God’s answer to her was ‘Do you really believe what you are telling people about me - to just trust me?’ and that is what we have to constantly do - trust,” Kevin says.

“There were days when I was kicking things and would beat my fist feeling as though it was just one thing after another. It was constant,” Kevin says.

His words began to strangle him, his throat tightened as he relives his journey and shares, “It was like Joseph. I don’t compare myself to Joseph, but the scenario, the situations …he had been told that he was appointed to lead and yet he was thrown in a pit and then sold into slavery, falsely accused and put in jail. His story is one obstacle after another. Everything that the Lord had allowed in Joseph’s life was all for that moment where he would be able to lead a nation out of hunger…” Kevin says, as tears well up in his eyes.

“I kept having to say, ‘Lord, I don’t understand this setting, but I do know we are gonna make it out there. We will live through this. I wanted my family to see the Lord is in charge of all of it. We will make it through,” Kevin vows.

“And we are given one answer after another. I can’t always see the answer but I do know that it is coming. I would tell my wife and the boys, ‘let’s not miss what is happening right here while looking for answers out there. Let’s keep our eyes on the little things that He is orchestrating,” Kevin says. “We know that God has big plans that we can’t always see.”