Roy Exum: Jesus Can’t Get Elected

Sunday, October 14, 2018 - by Roy Exum
Roy Exum
Roy Exum

A Facebook acquaintance, who is a friend of one of my many friends, posted a copy of a story that appeared several years ago in the Owensboro (Ky.) Messenger-Inquirer this week and it struck a cord with me. It listed about 20 reasons Jesus would not get elected if His name was on the ballot – my goodness, everybody’s mad about something.

It failed to mention a huge problem we have as we get ready for early voting, which starts this Wednesday. In Chattanooga it’s a wonder how anybody gets elected because so many good people refuse to vote, for whatever reason. As you know Tennessee is the worst state in America for voter turnout. And Chattanooga is the very worst city for voting in the worst state.

Keith Lawrence, a much-beloved fixture at the Kentucky newspaper, has been in the news business for well over half of his life and his story, “Why Jesus couldn’t get elected in America today,” is a crystal-clear look at some of the silliness that keeps us from thinking like we should. We let special interest groups dictate our logic and our reasoning in such a way that proves Keith is right – Not even Jesus is good enough for some people.

As I urge you to vote – no matter your choice – allow me to share Keith Lawrence’s list of reasons:

* * *

WHY JESUS COULDN’T GET ELECTED IN AMERICA TODAY

By Keith Lawrence, the Owensboro Messenger-Inquirer

First of all, He wouldn't run the kind of ads candidates run today.

And He was homeless, unemployed and unmarried.

His critics labeled Him "a gluttonous man and a wine-bibber, a friend of publicans and sinners."

The bigots wouldn't vote for Him because He was Jewish — on his mother's side, anyway.

Feminists would denounce His references to God as "Our Father."

The teetotalers would be upset that He turned water into wine at a wedding.

The charities wouldn't like what He said about making your donations in secret.

The affirmative action crowd wouldn't like Him surrounding himself with an all-male staff of the same ethnic background.

The school prayer people would be mad at Him for denouncing public prayer.

The defense lobby would be down on Him for His policy of turning the other cheek, doing good to those who hate you, loving your enemies, blessing those who curse you and not resisting evil.

The pacifists would be upset with Him for saying, "Don't think I've come to bring peace on earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword."

The self-righteous wouldn't like His instructions to "judge not that you be not judged."

His opponents would charge that feeding the multitudes was vote-buying.

The health-care community wouldn't like Him practicing medicine without a license.

The farming community would be mad because He cast demons into a herd of pigs and caused 2,000 of them to be drowned.

The wealthy would be offended by His remarks that "a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven."

He'd lose the lawyers' vote for telling people if someone sues you for your cloak, give him your coat as well.

The anti-tax crowd wouldn't like His "render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's" speech.

And reporters would have a fit because they couldn't find any skeletons in His closet.

* * *

“Pull the string, and it will follow wherever you wish. Push it, and it will go nowhere at all.” -- Dwight D. Eisenhower

royexum@aol.com


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