Journalism Students, Don't Miss The Lead

Wednesday, November 14, 2018 - by John Wilson
The board of aldermen met Monday night at the usual place, usual time. About 14 or 15 was there - give or take.
 
Bro. Bill Jones led in prayer. It was a long one as Baptists tend to do.
 
There was special singing by the Mudville school choir, featuring a solo by Jen Thomas's younger sister - the one with the pig tails.
 
The head alderman - Smith - hemmed and hawed around, as he tends to do, but finally they got started on the resolutions and the ordinances.
They was a lots of discussion on whether to change the speed limit on Briar Lane. Calkins made a motion, but he never gets a second on nothing, so it died. Whisnant wanted it tabled and whatever he wants he gets. So you can still go 30 on Briar Lane - 40 or 50 if the cops are down at the feed store on the other end of town.
 
There was a big to do on whether to allow goats and chickens in downtown proper. Everybody knew it was brought up because the mayor's daughter just loves baby goats. Calkins said goats are smelly and ornery and he was against it. Of course, that put it over. Whisnant, who everyone knows has business dealings with the mayor, thought it was a capital idea. Smith, as he tends to do, went right along with Whisnant, and the goats are in.
 
Chickens was another matter altogether. Whisnant's wife just hates chickens - especially roosters. You could see her throwing hand signals to Whisnant from the crowd - on how he should vote. Of course, he obliged, and the chickens went down.
 
The next thing that come up, it's a good thing the preacher had left. They got into a long-winded fuss about changing the zoning so that a massage parlor could go in where Scroggins used to have a filling station. Whisnant, after glancing at his wife, thought it sounded unsavory. He said the woman who was wanting to run it was from a bunch down toward Sawlers Creek that was no count - every one of them. Whisnant (and Mrs. Whisnant) was also wondering what kind of little skimpy outfits the women would be wearing when they throwed on the oil. Calkins, who never once votes with Whisnant, didn't see nothing wrong with it. Said it was for people with bad backs and pains in the neck. Smith, for once, showed a little gumption and said 'Why not?" with a little grin on his face. So this little town's got itself a massage parlor.
 
Near the end of the meeting, the mayor, who had showed up because he and his wife used to be close neighbors with the Thomases, was shot and killed plumb dead.

The next meeting of the board of aldermen will be Nov. 9, usual place, usual time.

 


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