A Copyrighting Parody

Thursday, February 7, 2019

Since I was a young teen, I loved the Dick Van Dyke show. I had never realized the creativity that copyrighters gave to the written word, and that show epitomized that art. 

I applied myself in high school and college to English: composition, literature and comparative literature. And I excelled. Debating teams, term papers, dissertations - anything that had to with the English language I put my shoulder to the wheel.

After 12 years of preparatory, four years of university and nine years of graduate-level studies culminating in a PhD of English Usage. Then 25 more years working in corporate advertising I finally got my break with my agency landing the Liberty Mutual Insurance account. And now the entire country, the entire world knows the power of my word forge. As the new series of commercials evolve, my tag lies are prevalent in every walk of human existence.

“Free. Free free free. Free free free free.”

All that education and labor has really paid off.

Sarcastically,
Dave Fihn


Questions About TVA And Controlling Water Levels - And Response

When Lies Become Normal In Politics - And Response (2)

Send Your Opinions To Chattanoogan.com; Include Your Full Name, Address, Phone Number For Verification


So in 2003 Chattanooga and Marion County and more people below Chickamauga Dam suffered a 100 year flood because TVA had not prepared for the amount of rain that fell. Since then up until 2018 ... (click for more)

The far right Trump cult has allowed themselves to be whipped into such misinformation frenzy, that colossal lying from our president is completely acceptable to them. The misplaced excessive ... (click for more)

We welcome your opinions at Chattanoogan.com. Email to news@chattanoogan.com . We require your real first and last name and contact information. This includes your home address and phone ... (click for more)


Opinion

Questions About TVA And Controlling Water Levels - And Response

So in 2003 Chattanooga and Marion County and more people below Chickamauga Dam suffered a 100 year flood because TVA had not prepared for the amount of rain that fell. Since then up until 2018 they have done a great job with controlling the flooding problems. On Feb. 14 they started dumping water at Chickamauga Dam and raising the river, bringing the river level up. Feb 15 it's ... (click for more)

When Lies Become Normal In Politics - And Response (2)

The far right Trump cult has allowed themselves to be whipped into such misinformation frenzy, that colossal lying from our president is completely acceptable to them. The misplaced excessive admiration of Trump’s right wing cult has allowed lies to become normal behavior with our president. Promises made without follow through become lies – i.e. Mexico will pay for the Southern ... (click for more)

Breaking News

Sanford Found Innocent Of 2000 Strangulation Murder In East Ridge

A Criminal Court jury on Friday night found Jason Sanford not guilty in the 2000 strangulation death of an East Ridge woman. The defense put on no proof. Sanford spent two and a half years in jail awaiting trial in the Cold Case. Earlier on Friday, a Michigan man gave a deathbed statement that his first cousin had admitted killing Sarah Davis Perry. The jury heard ... (click for more)

Trio Charged In Armed Robbery Of Dunkin Doughnuts On Highway 58

Three men have been charged with the robbery of the Dunkin Doughnuts on Highway 58 on Wednesday night. Charged with aggravated robbery were Justin Marcus Brakefield, 29, of 7310 Standifer Gap Road, Demarketh King, 30, of 4613 Locksley Lane, and Xavior Travon Robinson, 18, of 3606 Locksley Lane. An employee said three males walked into the business through a back door that ... (click for more)

Sports

Baylor, Cleveland Claim State Wrestling Titles

The Cleveland Blue Raiders didn’t leave much room for doubt on the final day of the TSSAA Traditional State wrestling tournament at the Williamson County Agricultural Expo Park in Franklin Saturday. While Cleveland breezed to their title by a 65.5 point margin over runner-up Wilson Central, the competition in the other two divisions was much closer. Baylor had an outstanding ... (click for more)

East Hamilton Girls, Boys Reach Disrict 5-3A Tournament Championship Round

Expected inclement weather will not dampen East Hamilton’s basketball spirits on Monday and Tuesday. That’s because on Saturday, the East Hamilton girls and boys posted semifinal victories and are penciled in as District 5-3A tournament finalists against Bradley Central’s Bearettes and Cleveland’s streaking Blue Raiders, respectively, at Soddy-Daisy High School. The No. 3 ... (click for more)