Bob Tamasy
You don’t need to be a devout follower of Jesus Christ to be familiar with one of His most oft-quoted declarations, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). In a world that focuses on self – “it’s all about me” – we need the reminder that the value of giving, whether it’s money or time or talent, is immeasurable.
However, it occurs to me that at least in one way, giving is not more blessed than receiving.
I’m referring to when we’re tempted to give someone a piece of our mind we can’t afford to lose. Except for the constant yammering we hear on TV – constant commentary by supposed experts on anything and everything – we’re becoming increasingly disinclined to listen. Many of us are more than willing to offer our opinions, solicited or not.
As has often been observed, God gave us two ears and one mouth, so we should use them in that proportion. Alas, we tend to do just the opposite. For some, listening is an activity engaged in only until the speaker pauses to take a breath. Then, during that brief oral hiatus, we feel free to interrupt and begin to interject our own thoughts.
But this isn’t a new phenomenon birthed out of social media, TV talk shows and news commentary. Apparently, it’s a flaw as old as human history. In the Bible’s New Testament, for instance, we’re exhorted, “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:1:19). Who do you know that would describe?
We’ve all heard about the many millions of dollars of damage in California resulting from massive fires that presumably started with a single spark. According to the Scriptures, an untamed tongue can cause similar devastation:
“…the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell…no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison” (James 3:5-8).
Wow! Strong words, right? But I think we all can think of examples of times when we’ve either been guilty of such verbal “malpractice” or observed it being committed by someone else.
Some might argue, “Don’t I have a right to say what I think?” or, “It’s the truth, and sometimes the truth hurts.” To a point, both statements are valid. But as one of my favorite verses often reminds me, “When there are many words, transgression is not avoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise” (Proverbs 10:19). To paraphrase, there’s wisdom in not being too generous with what we have to say.
In Proverbs we also read, “A prudent man keeps his knowledge to himself, but the hearty of fools blurts out folly” (Proverbs 12:23). And another verse warns, “He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin” (Proverbs 13:3).
Each of these passages points out that the “giving” of our thoughts and perspectives verbally isn’t always what we imagine it to be. Often the greater gift is to sincerely listen to what others have to say – not only to hear words expressed but also to consider what those words (and their underlying intentions) actually mean. As Proverbs 20:12 says, “Ears that hear and eyes that see – the Lord has made them both.”
We would do well to consider the exhortation from another book of the Bible, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29). Conversely, when words offered are designed for building us up, we would be wise to take heed and receive them with appreciation.
For those who feel a finger pointing their way, be assured I’m preaching to myself as well. Many times I’ve been guilty of being all too eager to give my two cents worth. And let’s face it, two cents isn’t worth nearly as much as it used to be!
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Robert J. Tamasy is a veteran journalist, former newspaper editor and magazine editor. Bob has written, co-authored and edited more than 15 books. These include the newly published, ”Marketplace Ambassadors”; “Business At Its Best: Timeless Wisdom from Proverbs for Today’s Workplace”; “Tufting Legacies,” “The Heart of Mentoring,” and “Pursuing Life With a Shepherd’s Heart.” A weekly business meditation he edits, “Monday Manna,” is translated into more than 20 languages and sent via email around the world by CBMC International. The address for his blog is www.bobtamasy.blogspot.com. His email address is btamasy@comcast.net.